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<blockquote data-quote="Randburg" data-source="post: 712318" data-attributes="member: 73375"><p><span style="font-size: 15px"> Customer: "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Customer: "It's on the door of your business."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++<u> </u></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><u>Samsung Electronics</u></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearlystates that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack beforecleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "I think it means the telephone plug on the wall."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">---------------------------------------------------------------------- </span><u></u></p><p><u><span style="font-size: 15px"> RAC Motoring Services</span></u></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"> Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "Does the product name give you a clue?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">---------------------------------------------------------------------- </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">"If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change the steeringwheel to the other side of the car?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">----------------------------------------------------------------------</span><u></u></p><p><u><span style="font-size: 15px"> Directory Enquiries</span></u></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"> Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">---------------------------------------------------------------------- </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">---------------------------------------------------------------------- </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phonebox told a worried operator:</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on." <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite16" alt=":banghead:" title="Bang Head :banghead:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":banghead:" /><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite16" alt=":banghead:" title="Bang Head :banghead:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":banghead:" /></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">----------------------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Customer: "OK."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Customer: "No."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Customer: "No."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">---------------------------------------------------------------------- </span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Tech Support: "OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Customer: "Wow! How can you see my screen from there?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">----------------------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">----------------------------------------------------------------------</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"><strong> This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time.</strong> I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. Thisis a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless tosay the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">(Now I know why they record these conversations!):</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px"></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "What sort of trouble??"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "Went away?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "They disappeared"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "Nothing."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "Nothing??"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "How do I tell?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "What's a monitor?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "I don't know."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "Yes, I think so."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "Yes, it is."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "No."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "Okay, here it is."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "I can't reach."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "OK. Well, can you <u>see</u> if it is??"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "No."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "Dark??"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "I can't."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "No? Why not??"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "Because there's a power failure."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "A power .... A <u>power failure</u>? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in??"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: 15px">Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!"</span></p><p><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Randburg, post: 712318, member: 73375"] [SIZE=4] Customer: "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?" Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?" Customer: "It's on the door of your business." Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open." +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++[U] Samsung Electronics[/U] Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?" Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about." Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearlystates that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack beforecleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?" Operator: "I think it means the telephone plug on the wall." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- [/SIZE][U] [SIZE=4] RAC Motoring Services[/SIZE][/U] [SIZE=4] Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia?" Operator: "Does the product name give you a clue?" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe) "If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change the steeringwheel to the other side of the car?" ----------------------------------------------------------------------[/SIZE][U] [SIZE=4] Directory Enquiries[/SIZE][/U] [SIZE=4] Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please" Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?" Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?" Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phonebox told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on." :banghead::banghead: ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop." Customer: "OK." Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?" Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Tech Support: "OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?" Customer: "Wow! How can you see my screen from there?" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- [B] This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time.[/B] I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. Thisis a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless tosay the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause." Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!): Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?" Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." Operator: "What sort of trouble??" Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." Operator: "Went away?" Caller: "They disappeared" Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" Caller: "Nothing." Operator: "Nothing??" Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??" Caller: "How do I tell?" Operator: "Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??" Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?" Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?" Caller: "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type." Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??" Caller: "What's a monitor?" Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??" Caller: "I don't know." Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??" Caller: "Yes, I think so." Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall. Caller: "Yes, it is." Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??" Caller: "No." Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable." Caller: "Okay, here it is." Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." Caller: "I can't reach." Operator: "OK. Well, can you [U]see[/U] if it is??" Caller: "No." Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??" Caller: "Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark." Operator: "Dark??" Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window." Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then" Caller: "I can't." Operator: "No? Why not??" Caller: "Because there's a power failure." Operator: "A power .... A [U]power failure[/U]? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in??" Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from." Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?" Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is." Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??" Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!"[/SIZE] ;) [/QUOTE]
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