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Agressive Hypos - help!

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Saz72

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My partner of 10 years has had type 1 diabetes since he was a child. Ok he's has a few hypos throughout the years some unpleasant, but now he's hit his 40's they are getting increasingly worse. In fact they have been darn right scarey. He has been having a lot of them whilst looking after our 5 year old son. He has tried to drag him into the car before kicking and screaming (luckily my son got away and a neighour came to the rescue). He nearly hit my neighbour in the process - this happened while I was at work. The other day he also pinched my son on the leg whilst having a hypo and left a red mark. Then he was abusive to me throwing dextrosol, biscuits all over the place. He is a big strong man and can be very threatening when having a hypo, especially to a child. Its come to a point now where I feel that I cant leave him looking after my son all day whilst Im at work, as I have had a few calls from the police whilst I have been at work when my parter has been looking after my son. I have cut down my hours because of this so I can pick my son up from school but the school holidays are becoming a problem.

I feel my partner doesnt check his BS enough, especially after exercise, or I think he gets stressed. I have tried talking to him about this but he just gets more moody with me. Also he never speaks after a hypo or says sorry. I know he cant help it but its affecting us too as this is happening every couple of weeks (at least). He still wants to look after my son but I just cant let him because I worry for my sons safety. He always looked after him when he was a baby and was fine.

Does anyone else experience hypos like this? Do you think Im being fair? I do feel desperately sorry for him, but I feel like hes in denial that his diabetes is out of control and I dont think hes doing enough to control it.
 
Aggression in hypo is common. My T1 husband almost broke my arm once.
Good control and checking is the real answer. Eating reduced carbs and cutting down on insulin is one way that works.
Obviously, you cannot risk the safety of your child. I taught my daughter how to call 999, when she was about 4 and she did once have to save Daddy, who had a severe hypo and a fit in the supermarket. She told the supermarket manager to give Daddy some sugar and our phone number so they could call me.
 
First of all I have never had a hypo in which I get aggressive and iv been a diabetic for 11 years however I am sure it affects everyone differently. Is he definitely having a hypo? What are his blood test results when having a hypo?

I can only recommend one thing here and that is basically to give him an ultimatum

Sort himself out or you will leave with your son.

Surely that is no way to live and is highly unfair on your son and yourself....

Maybe try and get him to see a doctor or even a psychiatrist?

Best of luck
 
Hi Saz,
I really feel for you and your not being unfair, the only thing i can do is give my pennys worth of advise. If your partner isn't taking his diabetes seriously enough to check his bs often enough, and lets face it whilst having a child in his care, its paramount that he does this. Then for the safety of your child your gonna have to get tough, your sympathy hasn't worked on him so far. See if you can get alternative child care until he pulls his finger out and takes responsibility for his diabetes, before someone gets seriously injured. Doing this may give him the kick up the backside he needs. Don't get me wrong, i sympathise with him also, but he's a grown man and needs to be responsible to be given the responsibility of care. If you can't get through to him then ask a member of his family to step in.
Best of luck and a ((hug)) to get get you through this,
Suzi x
 
Yikes Saz that's scary but as others have said, unfortunately it does happen. My first real bad hypo took place at home aged 16, within 2 years of diagnosis. My Dad recalls that 4 ambulance men had to sit on me to restrain my flailing. When I got home from A&E I couldn't believe the destruction I'd wreaked in my bedroom! In the last 10 years I've now become completely unaware of hypo onset, and have the physical scars to show for the associated fitting. Had to give up driving too. :cry:

Your top priority is the safety of your child, and these events "should" be the wake-up call your partner clearly needs, to take control of his diabetes. Which means he can't be left on his own with your son until he no longer presents a danger - to himself or others. He has to take responsibility for managing the condition more effectively, and demonstrate that he's doing so, but it's never too late to start. So short term it's alternative childcare while your partner re-educates himself. Harsh, but your only option I reckon?
 
Thanks for all your responses. I've asked my family/friends for advice on this subject but I did want to get some opinions from people who also have T1 diabetes. I know someone who has it at work and she never seems to have them this bad or regularly, and she sits at her desk surrounding with sugary foods, just in case. Sometimes I feel if I didn't take out the dextrosol he just would forget!! I have told him hes irresponsible, but he just tries to make me feel guilty.

I have been harsh with him last time and constantly nag him to check his BS after walks, exercise etc. Most of the time he accuses me of nagging/worrying too much, and then says I make my son anxious - obviously my son would be anxious because he's been left in the car with his dad in a hypo state and police all around him on one occasion, not to mention the rest of them!

I am hoping that after hes pinched our son its hit home a bit - to do that to a child is not nice. OK my son is very understanding and knows daddy cant help it and I have tought him to dial 999, go to the neighbours - I just dont like him seeing this violence and getting scared on a regular basis. We're both getting to be nervous wrecks!!

I have told him that my parents are coming to get my son at lunchtime on the day that Im working. He has agreed. He's fine in the morning usually - if hes going to have a hypo its usually after exercise or mid afternoon. It always seems to be on his day off as well - I think he rushes around too much not bothering to eat regularly. He doesn't seen to see the signs of a hypo coming - I can tell more than he can. If Im there I give him something to eat and usually hes ok but I worry when Im not there, he just doesnt/or doesnt realise he needs to get something to eat.

I just want to go out on a day out without worrying amd having to tell him to check his BS or tell him to eat at lunch or have a mid morning snack. I think its about time he just did it himself! Oh well I will have to wait and see if he starts checking himself more regularly coz I cant handle this every week!!

Thanks again xxx
 
PS - he is definitely having hypos because ambulance crew have checked his BS and sometimes it 1 or 2. He goes a grey colour and sweats like mad and acts totally strange!
 
HI, I can get bad tempered somtimes when I'm hypo, I think it's my body's self-preservation reflex kicking in. Has your husband changed his insulin regime recently and what insulins is he on?
Jus
 
They have chopped and changed his insulin like nobody's business a few months ago as he was having hypos nearly every other day. In the end they discovered his thyroid medication was wrong as his thyroid was over active rather than under active. The hypos have definitely settled down compared to Spring. Now I can kind of predict when they are going to happen eg. a hot day after taking the dog for a walk or if he's delayed lunch, or having a late dinner. He even went out for a day out and realised he left all his insulin at home, and had to stay out without taking any medication!! Arghh!
 
Hi Saz,

I was really interested in all your concerns. We're having similar issues too.

My younger brother (he's 23) isn't doing enough to control his diabetes. Last night he had his third very severe scary hypo. He's had diabete's since being 12 but he's now a very tall and strong man.

Lately he's had regular dips and wobbles in his bs levels, but last night I woke up to here him struggling to breath, bleeding nose, pupils dilated etc. Scary! When I got to him with medication it's such a fight to hold him still to get the glucogon injection in and then as he comes round he's very aggressive and hard to manage. He tries to walk off, he really hurt my Mum etc.

Last night, Mum- who is very, possibly over caring of him. Asked him to check his levels and drink some lucozade before he went to bed, both of which he ignored.

This is third time now we've all had the panick and worry of some thing I hope is preventable. All the hypo's he suffered have been through the night so in the past we've excused them as 'sleeping through' but surely there's preventable measures he needs to be taking.

There is no excuse for not eating/drinking- Mum feed's him as best she can, provides lucozade etc.

Sorry I've written so much. I'm really interested to hear how you're getting doing.
It feels as if my brother/your husband is doing this to himself, but why would they?!
Many thanks, Kathryn
 
Hi Kathryn.
Welcome to the Forum.

Lucozade is only a first stage treatment for a hypo, it is not a substitute for slow acting carbs such as when having a snack before bed. It along with GlucoTabs is designed to quickly elevate Bg levels and only when they are up to 'normal' levels should you have small carby snack to stabilise those levels, thus avoiding low blood sugars through the night. By relying only on Lucozade the level will go up, then quickly drop again......causing the problems as described.

The young man concerned should be made to realise that this is all preventable by good control, which ultimately is HIS responsibility. He is old enough and as you say big enough to control things himself.
 
Hi Saz, your post has really interested me as sometimes I think we can forget that aggression is a symptom of a low BG - does your hubby know this? Sometimes I can feel stroppy and aggitated and I have to stop and think am I just being a miserable old bag or do I need to check my BG?! More often than not I am below 4 and need something to eat. I wonder if your man could learn to recognise his irritation as perhaps that would stop the whole violence thing before it gets too far? Easier said than done, I know........ :?
 
Hi Saz
I have just found your post and I have registered in order to reply.
I am trawling the web trying to find info about aggression and violence with low blood sugar and honestly there doesn't seem to be much about
Sorry to hear about your situation, which I can fully empathise with.
Having a partner who is also big/strong and type 1 (and can be quite aggressive under normal circumstances),he wasn't diagnosed until he was 39 yrs
I am really quite shocked ... to find that I have even more to worry about than I thought
I am fully aware and experienced with the situation where high BS can cause aggression/violence, but I didn't know that lows could cause aggression/violence; over which the person has no control and can't even remember what they've done when their levels return to normal!
I have a good knowledge of diabetes as my youngest son is also type1 but this info has really scared me!
Last night things were perfectly OK one minute, we were having a meal and watching a film and then my OH just became enraged for no reason, started throwing things around, banging his fists into the wall, doors etc.
At first I thought something had happened that I was unaware of and it was just him having his 'normal' outburst; but then he started rambling random incomprehensible comments about numbers and things, bringing me items from around the house including a bowl of dog food ..... and I couldn't communicate with him.
My son came down from his bedroom to see what was happening and neither of us could understand what was happening to him or get him to sit down or communicate properly.
He was staggering about and when he went into the kitchen, took a carving knife out of the drawer and started stabbing at the work top, we phoned for the ambulance and the emergency 999 service also sent 4 police officers because of what my son was describing to them on the phone ...........
What a nightmare!
Anyway, the police got here fairly quickly, but because it was 'Saturday night' the ambulance took 1/2 an hour!
During this time he calmed down and was basically just sitting on the sofa in a sort of daze and wasn't aware on any level of what was happening or wondering why there were 4 police officers in the lounge!
My daughter and partner also arrived as I'd phoned them to say that there was something seriously wrong with him, we couldn't control him and we'd phoned the ambulance etc and he was totally detached from everything that was happening
We honestly thought he was having some sort of breakdown / psychotic episode.
Anyway ...... blood test done BS raised .... him totally disconnected ...
What then followed was what I have come to accept as 'normal' re the health service, as in the ambulance just 'dropped him off' at A&E, where when he,when asked the reason for him being there .... said that he didn't know/couldn't understand why he was there as he had simply 'had a low BS'
Bottom line they said 'it would be at least 6 hours before he could see a doctor!'
We went to get him .....
all he could remember was that he'd had a low BS !
I just wanted you to know about this, because I know it doesn't physically help, but at least you know that it is happening to other people and perhaps others might post on here with other info/advise?
Like yourself, I am certainly concerned about this now and there just doesn't seem to be any real advise / help about this anywhere
I hope things get sorted out for you .... like yourself ... I am used to the moods ... not speaking/discussing ... the word sorry never being heard etc, but as have said, I am truly shocked by what has happened and he meanwhile, has just gone into work as though everything was normal!
 
Low Bg levels can certainly cause personality changes, mood swings etc. It's a well known symptom.

There is a T1 who lives near me and once or twice I have been called on to help restrain him when he was seriously hypoing and fighting all and sundry....his wife included. Not very nice and if help isn't available then it can quickly escalate into a major incident for the family.......
 
hi al very new here and i mum of a 22 yr old diabetic daughter. who for 17 yrs had diabetes. but just recently her hypo s have changed and she can be rather aggressive durring a hypo. she is very hard to deal with and give meds to sort out hypo she will fight us. she to big to fight or hold down. so i was searching for help advice to help us through this and found this post here though i see the dates are yrs ago but there seem to be very little detail about this situation
 
My son is 12 and was diagnosed 10 months ago. We've not had aggressive hypos, but have had really stroppy hypos and highs. However, it won't be long until he's a teenager, so I do worry about this. Being logical (I know logic and hypos don't go together), but why don't people who are prone to this have CGM's or Libre's so they can tell when they are approaching a hypo/high and catch it? Is it purely cost, as I know they both cost serious money to setup or to pay for consumables. In my sons case, it's because we're still just about to start on a pump, so wanted him to get used to manual checking rather than rely on tech.
I'm hovering over the 'post' button wondering if I should post this but please, and I mean this honestly, it's not a criticism .... I just wanted to know what goes through people's heads, so I can help him through it, if/when it occurs?
 
Hi Lauren, Welcome to the forum and very sorry to read the issues you are having. There are reports that suggests, some people that suffer from hypos can get aggressive. Are you able to take a BG reading at that time? Are you able to see any of the symptoms before she is having a hypo?
 

Aggression can be associated with hypos. The person can act in an out of character way and be difficult to reason with.

Have you or your daughter spoken to a DSN? If your daughter is having regular hypos it may be that her insulin needs adjusting.
 

CGM's are expensive so your right about it all being down to cost, hopefully when he starts on a pump the frequency of the hypo's & high's will reduce.

Hypo's (depending on the severity) can make you act out of character as @azure mentions above.
 
If I go hypo during the night I'm a totally different person, I wont take drinks, sweets nothing. Ive never spoken about this as its embarassing and not a good feeling to, Ive woken to Police being in the room (4) and 5 paramedics, and the appologises when i become myself are horrible but need doing, I have no words of wisdom and I am sorry about that, but try all the help that has been advised
 
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