Pura Vida
Well-Known Member
AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH:
>>> 1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA......FLOOR.
>>> 2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
>>> 3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
>>> 4. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.
>>> 5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP
>>> SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
>>>
>>> 6. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
>>> 7. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
>>> 8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
>>> 9. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
>>> 10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?
>>> 11. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
>>> 12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
>>> 13. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
>>> 14. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL BREAK-IN AND CLEAN THEM?
>>> 15. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
>>> 16. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
>>>
>>> 17. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
>>> 18. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?
>>> 19. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?
>>> 20. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
>>> 21. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
>>> 22. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA? (This one took me a minute)
>>> 23. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?
>>> 24. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
>>> 25. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
>>> 26. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
>>> 27. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
>>> 28. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?
>>> 29. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS"?
>>> 30. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
>>> 31. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
>>> 32. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED?
>>> 33. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?
>>> 1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA......FLOOR.
>>> 2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
>>> 3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
>>> 4. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.
>>> 5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP
>>> SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
>>>
>>> 6. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
>>> 7. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
>>> 8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
>>> 9. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
>>> 10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?
>>> 11. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?
>>> 12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
>>> 13. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
>>> 14. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL BREAK-IN AND CLEAN THEM?
>>> 15. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
>>> 16. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
>>>
>>> 17. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MUTE, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
>>> 18. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?
>>> 19. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?
>>> 20. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
>>> 21. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
>>> 22. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA? (This one took me a minute)
>>> 23. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?
>>> 24. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
>>> 25. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
>>> 26. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
>>> 27. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
>>> 28. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?
>>> 29. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS"?
>>> 30. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?
>>> 31. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
>>> 32. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED?
>>> 33. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?
