I want you all to know that I'm a very nice person, but I have struggled with reactive, angry outbursts my entire life, both pre- and post-diabetes.
I, like others have mentioned here, will become very agitated if my blood glucose levels drop too low. Otherwise I feel fine, whether my blood glucose levels are 100 mg/dL or 200 mg/dL.
That said, when I've had high blood sugars over a long period of time, I suffer headaches and fatigue which affects my mood. This begs the question, is the moodiness due to the diabetes, or the poor management of it and perhaps other conditions? (I believe in cases where best treatments aren't working well enough, it can be both. The goal here is to keep trying to find what does work, to never give up.).
I also think there's a lot of conflicting, confusing emotions surrounding the diagnosis of any chronic condition. Someone mentioned the Kubler-Ross model of stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. (
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kübler-Ross_model )
We can but typically don't go through these stages sequentially. We bounce around the five stages, in no particular order, repeatedly. Too many never emerge and remain stuck.
During the years I worked as an information and resource specialist, I sometimes met people who were stuck, not moving. I spent a lot of time listening to them then I worked hard to get them into a peer group, either locally or online where I knew they'd receive ongoing encouragement, exposure to new, helpful information, and modeling of what to do and what not to do.
Some people don't like support groups, but do benefit from doing their own readings and research and/or attending education groups or lectures. Online lectures, documentaries, and investigational journalism and reporting can be beneficial too.
A question I've always had is why do some people do everything they can to recover from a life threatening diagnosis or chronic illness, while others don't? I imagine most of us fall somewhere in between. (Over the years, I've read a few interesting books on resiliency that I personally found helpful).
In my experience the journey back to health begins with a healthy diet and nutrition. But how do you get your health headed in the right direction when not only is your health failing, but you're also mentally or spiritually broken, perhaps impoverished too?
And then there's the challenge of the lingering affects of past traumas. I think that's where social service agencies, support groups, sometimes government assistance programs can make a difference. I think some churches can be helpful too. For those who can access it, the right counselor or coach can make a difference. By "right" I mean someone who you respect and trust, and who's helping you make measurable progress toward your goals. Some people find mindfulness training and practices very helpful.
In the book, Radical Remission: The Nine Key Factors That Can Make a Real Difference: Surviving Cancer Against All Odds by Kelly A. Turner, Ph.D., the author identified 9 key factors (out of 75):
- Radically changing your diet
- Taking control of your health
- Following your intuition
- Using herbs and supplements
- Releasing suppressed emotions
- Increasing positive emotions
- Embracing social support
- Deepening your spiritual connections
- Having strong reasons for living
I personally don't know how to improve one's physical and mental health (or bad attitude) if there's one or more nutritional deficiencies present. That's why it's now my preference to use diet, supplements if needed, and physical activity prior to using drugs or herbs. That said, sometimes both need to be done at the same time. Every situation is so individual.
I was taught by a popular psychologist in the 1990's that anger is not a true emotion, that there's always an emotion underlying it. I don't know if she's right or wrong, but that's how I see my own anger.
For me anger represents an "unmet need", "a call for a proactive action" based in reality. By that I mean a proactive action based on what's within my control and influence, i.e. my behavior, my actions.
Sometimes I'm just really having a bad day. I call them "reset days". I go home, eat, try to do something that's calming, then go to bed knowing I'll feel better in the morning. Tomorrow's another day.
For those who live with a family member who refuses to take responsibility for their health and behavior, there have been many books written on how to set and maintain boundaries, something not easily done in a respectful and firm manner. It takes lots of education and practice. Sometimes I'm good at it, other times not...
While boundaries are a good place to start, I don't stop there. I'm always looking for small ways to influence family and friends for the better, beginning of course with modeling my ongoing work toward goals, as well as genuine acceptance of my many quirks and imperfections.
Lucky for me, my home is a peaceful environment. It's some of my work and personal relationships that are challenging. I'm so thankful I don't have to deal with tempers and dramas 24/7. Having a safe place and supportive family and friends makes a huge difference for me.
Okay, that was a long post. In my defense, anger is a very complex topic and worthy of reflection and understanding. It's also so damaging to our health.
