Depression is horrible and indescribable. Many, including myself have tried to describe it but I think each episode of depression has it's own 'aura' about it somehow.
Sometimes there's a reason for it, bereavement, relationship break up, debt, health issues. And sometimes there appears to be no reason at all.
I've been through some very deep and profound and enlightening depressions where I've just felt 'stagnant', like diving into a muddy pool looking for something. Horrible while I was down there in the deep, but when I surfaced I always came up with a pearl which contained some kind of answer to what that depression was about. I think sometimes the struggle to keep our head up is what wears us out at these times, whereas if we give in, it somehow runs its course and we come out the other end quicker.
Might sound daft, but whenever I felt stuck, I'd force myself to watch a weepie on TV even if I didn't feel like it. Sure enough those elusive tears I was holding back would surface and every single tear I shed actually 'told' me something as I shed it. I never question what I'm crying about, that doesn't work. But I found just crying without analysing actually brings answers.
I'd cry and find myself remembering something that happened years ago which I hadn't thought had bothered me, but I was obviously holding it in there for years.
I think sometimes depression is our mind taking time to belatedly process events that have happened, they don't have to be huge events, but possibly events that 'went over our head' at the time or we didn't fully understand. I see depression as a backlog, a hold up, a queue which needs unblocking - by a good cry.
hope ya ok, big hugs. 
