Pura Vida
Well-Known Member
BECOMING A SENIOR
Barb was lying in bed one night. Larry was falling asleep but Barb was
in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.
She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get
back to sleep.
A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me... "
Mildly irritated, Larry reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek
and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my neck..."
Angrily, Larry threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
"Where are you going?" Barb asked.
"To get my teeth!"
______________________________ _______
_______
OLD FRIENDS
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years,
they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their
activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play
cards.
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and
said, "Now don't get mad at me... I know we've been friends for a long
time but I just can't think of your name. I've thought and thought,
but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared
and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
______________________________ _______
SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the motorway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Vernon, I
just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on I-25.
Please be careful!"
"Hell," said Vernon, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
______________________________ _______
Barb was lying in bed one night. Larry was falling asleep but Barb was
in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.
She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get
back to sleep.
A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me... "
Mildly irritated, Larry reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek
and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my neck..."
Angrily, Larry threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
"Where are you going?" Barb asked.
"To get my teeth!"
______________________________ _______
_______
OLD FRIENDS
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years,
they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their
activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play
cards.
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and
said, "Now don't get mad at me... I know we've been friends for a long
time but I just can't think of your name. I've thought and thought,
but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared
and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
______________________________ _______
SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the motorway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Vernon, I
just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on I-25.
Please be careful!"
"Hell," said Vernon, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
______________________________ _______
