Cannot accept my diabetes.

Sjb1989 said:

I have the exact same problem I'm 26 had diabetes since 2002.. I have never accepted or controlled it and I'm getting more and more ill as time goes on. I want to control it and be well but just can't bring myself to do it.. Its like a mental block.. Every so often I'll get a self boost out of nowhere and check my bg a few times but everything makes it worse like stress,sleep,work,family and health problems and I find myself in exactly the same downward spiral not checking my bg for months on end and really burying my head in the sand where diabetes is concerned... I already suffer with agonizing peripheral neuropathy and am starting to get other complications.. I don't know where my bg is one week to the next and am afraid in the end its going to kill me yet I still cant bring myself to care for it..i am on medication for high cholesterol, neuropathy and depression.. My health is deteriorating so fast

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My first advice would to read this topic from the beginning as a lot of very sympathetic advice has been given to the OP by many members.
http://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/threads/type-1-diabetes-is-killing-me.83615/

My second would be to read the thread on Diabetes Burnout: http://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/threads/diabetes-burnout.74048/

Thirdly, get help from your doctor and/or diabetes team. Ask for counselling as what you are dealing with is a lot more serious than an internet forum can really help you with.

Good luck!

Hello and welcome @Sjb1989
Have given you your own thread rather than your post getting lost in another one.

Sjb1989 said:

I'm 26 had diabetes since 2002.. I have never accepted or controlled it and I'm getting more and more ill as time goes on. I want to control it and be well but just can't bring myself to do it.. Its like a mental block.. Every so often I'll get a self boost out of nowhere and check my bg a few times but everything makes it worse like stress,sleep,work,family and health problems and I find myself in exactly the same downward spiral not checking my bg for months on end and really burying my head in the sand where diabetes is concerned... I already suffer with agonizing peripheral neuropathy and am starting to get other complications.. I don't know where my bg is one week to the next and am afraid in the end its going to kill me yet I still cant bring myself to care for it..i am on medication for high cholesterol, neuropathy and depression.. My health is deteriorating so fast

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Hiya - Catherine is right you need help outside of this forum. Admitting it here is acknowledging it yourself so you know you do need help.

Unfortunately stress, sleep, work other health problems impact on your blood glucose control - there are ways to manage your control but ignoring it is not going to make it go away, it's going to make it worse.

Contact your doctor/consultant or DSN today - who do you have the most contact with ? You need to tell them the issues you are facing and seek professional support, we all understand what your going through as many of us have experience of it to some degree but getting support from your team is what you need to get now, good luck

Hi there Sjb1989
welcome to the forum

getting diagnosed at 13 ( as you were) is a particularly rough age with all the other stuff going on in your life ( turning into an adult ) -- I was diagnosed at 14 so can completely empathise with you.

Getting to grips with this D ultimately has to be about you deciding to want long term survival and your health and hopefully with our help here we can talk through all the blocks and devise some ways forward for you.

do keep posting young man !!( oh to be young again I wish) we've all experienced some if not all of the emotions you describe in our D lives !!

Hi SJB, welcome to the forum. From what you have said, it seems that at this point you are willing to try anything. A couple of years ago I was the same. My solution's not easy, to begin with. It will take a concerted effort, but it is so, so worth it. I could tell you, but I would prefer to show you. Go to YouTube and search for Dr Troy Stapleton. He is an Australian doctor, who was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in 2012. He gives some amazing advice in his talks. Have a watch of any of his videos, and have a think about what he says. Best of luck, you can find your way to good control

Hi and welcome
Work hours seems to be an angst to you and causing you food issues.
Some of this may be linked to not having a good routine.
Also, changes in the hours of getting up, days off etc do have an impact on blood levels... Eg when my hubby works early shifts I have to give different basal amounts to the weeks he works late shifts.

All of these issues need to be talked through with your medical team. However, we can help and support.

My guidance from my own personal issues when discussing matters with partners is to do it openly and formerly sat at a table with nothing on it - unless its a coffee or tea. You don't see board members or the govt sat on settees or chairs making important debates or choices.
This was the basic thing and best info that our Counsellor gave us. My hubby would walk away from a debate if standing or sat on a chair. He is a very gentle man and hates any debate or conflict.. So that used to annoy me that I couldn't finish talking to him.
Sitting opposite each other at a table reduces emotions. It calms situations. You both have to commit to not moving until matters resolved.
When we had no floor downstairs whilst doing house renovations I lumped a coffee table upstairs and we both sat on the floor opposite it!!
Talking without emotion is important and so is listening and not cutting the other person off.
Sometimes its realising and valuing that other person more. They care for you enough to not worry about you actually being a diabetic. However, you need to start really to get a routine for yourself and to establish what insulin and food you need for your shifts. The insulin dosages and changes may best be talked thru with professionals or if you want persons here may be able to advise what we would do if you posted your readings and doses.. Please note though that we are only experienced T1's not medically qualified..