Cannot go on.

I don't think there's a single diabetic that hasn't had the feeling, "I just can't do this anymore." And I'm sure your problems are deeply felt and seem insurmountable.
But please focus on the word "SEEM."
If your sugar's not where you need it to be, those feelings can be overwhelming. Be sure you are talking, not the sugar. When my sugar is high, all ill-tempered and feel severely defeated. I take my shot and I become me again. You know how you feel out of yourself when your sugar's too low? That **** sugar affects us.
We are here for you when you need to talk. I sincerely hope something said here will help you hang on.

My heart goes out to you - you have been given some very good advice from many here on the forum but all of it requires you to do SOMETHING - and that is not easy when your heart is sick. Let me tell you a little of my story: I started smoking and drinking alcohol when I was 14 years old. When I was 18 I was having "black outs" and had no idea where I had been the night before. By 20 I was having short spells of "black outs" and had no idea where I was one minute before. By age 22 I was virtually an alcoholic. Always drunk; always getting into fights; once tried to murder a man because of drink - I was a horrible person that had no friends and people shunned me.

Then someone gave me a King James Bible. I had never read the Bible in my whole life. So I started at the back, thinking that it was the last chapter and wondered how the story ended. It was the Book of Revelation. I read for 8 and a half hours and could not stop. I cried out to God for mercy and His help. IT CHANGED MY LIFE. It gave me something worth living for. That was January 1964. 52 years ago and now I am still reading the King James Bible.

I have a wonderful wife and two adult children and 3 grandchildren and we all read the King James Bible - try it, you have nothing to lose and a LIFE to gain.

mo53 said:

@ufukof hello how are you now? It's 4 days since you posted and we would all like to know how you are.

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YES, YES, YES, KEEP IN TOUCH. You have touched our hearts, and we are here for you - KEEP COMMUNICATING with us.
We have ALL had periods in our lives when we felt like it would be better if we ended it right now.
There is a FUTURE for you, and it CAN be enjoyable.
But please don't give us the PAIN of not knowing your progress. WE WANT TO HELP.

ufukof said:

60 yrs old now, have been undiagnosed,but suffering for most of these years,have always thought diet was the key,manic depression, joint/tendon pain and weight gain, divorce from the woman i love, watching dad in his final moments still causing , doing,thinking and saying everything wrong,unable to stop it,for forty years or more i`ve been going to top myself,never been as close as i am at the moment,dont think i will make it to christmas,so sorry to all my family,cannot say it all,love and wish each and everyone of them nothing but the best, every time its like climbing a higher mountain to recover,only to find you are even lower, just want it to end,simply cannot do it anymore, absolutely know that most of the articulate people on here are correct, even though it flies in the face of what we have been told, the answers will always come from the sufferers, I think the medical profession are too proud to be wrong. if you have the strength please listen to each other,turn this thing on its head, it is as simple as the correct diet for you. sorry its all garbaled up. have ruined or broke everything i have ever touched

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If you have a social worker or a crisis team, for your manic depression, please get in touch with them asap and please come back and talk to us if you can.
Wishing you all the colours of the rainbow................. except blue, take care RRB x

I have an awful feeling we are talking to our selves ufukof has not been active on the forum for five days now.

Hey Uf um heartbroken reading your post I often get depressed and to tell the truth I think about ending my life. I am divorced 7 years now at first I was a reck gotta tell u God has a way of bringing the right person in your life at the right time open your heart be receptive that person might be just around the corner from you. Find a local church there is always someone available to encourage you be blessed hope everything work's out well sending kisses your way

Lizdeluz speaks for many of us. Please keep in touch. We need you to live. Many of us have been there and got help from the others who frequent this forum. Stay on line. Call Samaritans. Call anybody. Let them know you need help. You cannot just leave your family, they need you. We need another survivor.

I am very concerned for the OP I have been through a very similar experience on another forum and it did not have a happy ending. It effected every one on that forum for a long time @ufukof please if you are ok please please let us know.

Oh dear, this is very worrying. Like everyone else, I have been waiting for ufukof to come back and tell us how he is, in the hope that maybe he got some face-to-face help, or at least by phone. I wonder, is it possible that one of the mods can contact him by a more direct means? @tim2000s @Juicyj on the site at the mo.

@ufukof - if you're reading these posts, but just don't have the energy to post anything, that's ok - just a quick 'I'm here' would be fine till you're ready.

The OP has been online very recently. I'm sure he'll reply when he's ready

Thank goodness for that I was getting very worried. @ufukof I do hope you feel better now and that you are going to be ok.

Hay come we was all worried about you And don't be sorry people on here are concerned as everybody was asking have they spoken to you

ufukof said:

STILL HERE ! firstly,I am sorry to all the people that my pretty selfish words have given concern to,thank you to all of you who have taken the time to say something.thank you. I have been in bed for the most part,hiding from everything, as i have done for a huge part of my life,Have never been as sociable as i am in my mind !, not used to verbalising or being able to get things out. am a very irresponsible person,should never have taken on the responsibility of a dog, but did in a moment of mania, but have put on him all of my fears,worries,anger,bad eating habits and even the worst of my manic depression bouts which he mimics and suffers to the point of me somehow snapping out and getting back on course `short term` for him ! he is a bullmastiff , now 7 1/2 years old and 62 kilos in pain, with medicated joint problems he is with me 24/7,due to separation anxiety stress,which he like me internalises. for him giving rise to ear,eye,and throat issues .I cope by going out with `kujo`late at night, have managed to keep appointments so far, for psyc,drs, scans,tests etc etc,often by staying up all night and getting to the places many hours early in my homemade campervan. the `end` never laves me and is always the only answer not only for me, but for all those that i continue to affect !,until another sleep comes

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No need to apologise! I hope you'll keep posting, because you certainly seem to be in a lonely place right now, and we can help with that. Many of us have felt lonely in dealing with our diabetes, so, like you, we need the support of others from time to time. Glad you read our posts, and looking forward to hearing from you on this and other threads.

Glad to hear from you @ufukof. Hope you're feeling a bit better, and that we'll see you around the forums sometimes. We all need to have time out occasionally, so no need to apologise, folks were just a little worried, that's all.

Oh Yes happy to hear from you , hope you will comunicate with US again dont feel ashamed of being lonely really many People are that nowadays . Nice to hear you have a loving dog hope you will get some better help in the future

Great to see you back. There is always someone to talk to here. Big hugs x

Wow @ bull mastiff. My friend has 2 English Mastiffs, one of whom is 15 months old and 17stone! Bet that keeps you busy just feeding!! Good to hear from you

@ufukof hello I'm glad you have posted again. Please keep posting. There is always someone to share with here

They say a stranger is just a friend you have yet to make. well we were all strangers here now we are your friends and friends don't judge, now your back please don't return to being a stranger if you feel lonely come and talk to us there's usually always some one here if you need us.