Can't Cope With Other People

I remember when I turned fifty and I realised I was Mortal. it took a few weeks to get over it and move on. Maybe for him this has been a shock too and he is so angry at life he cant keep it in? And we always turn on those we love the best I think.

Would he be open to a counsellor he could talk to, outside the family who he could off load onto? It might help

Sending hugs.

Thanks Lucy...hugs appreciated.

Well, Heaven help us later in the year when the big 5-0 gets here......he's said he doesn't want to celebrate.

I'm not sure I could even mention counselling yet. He would really see that as a sign of failure on his part. He's not really a open book.

He's told me, a few minutes ago, that he has done some reading. I just looked him straight in the eye and said 'Read more. Much more. Diabetes is not the boss of you' And I made sure he overheard my conversation with my sister when I said he needs to take charge of this diabetes before it takes charge of him...he doesn't want to let it win. He's quite competitive so you never know...

Meanwhile, I baked him a batch of low carb Almond Cookies and there's stir fry for supper!

Julia

OMG...i am more of a bundle of nerves than i was before i stopped ignoring my diabetes....either i get upset and crying or angry... its not just the diabetes...its..the last 7 years of my life since i moved to england and in which i had marriage,diagnosis, divorce, etc...all before the age of 31....now i have a great boyfriend who has some health issues himself but i find myself getting very short with him...like i dont need more s**t besides mine to deal with...whats with that...and then after a while i am all ok again....

sometimes i dont recognise myself anymore....

Dear glados,
why not try autogenous training for relaxation... It helped for me to get my stress under control, might help you as well...

Don't worry - I completely understand how you feel.

Often I find that I'm trying to do everything 'perfectly', and that people just cannot comprehend how hard being diabetic is. I always feel that I have to try harder then them just because everything is an uphill struggle. It takes time to learn to accept it, and at the beginnng it can feel like everything is working against you (believe me, I still feel that way sometimes). But it does get better, and i've needed time to realise that people only want to try and help me, and it's not their fault they can't understand. That's why this forum is so great, as there are people who can empathise.

Take care

Sophie x

Wow....reading through posts of roughly a month ago, and how awful it all felt back then. Seems ages ago now.

I'm glad to say that things are much better now. We're getting used to the lifestyle changes, and quite enjoying aspects of it too. It's still difficult planning meals but this is, for the most part, something we now do together. MH has now started to take an interest, rather than just sitting there expecting a delicious meal to appear as if by magic.

The help, suggestions, advice and recipes on this forum have been lifesavers - corny but true! And I'm not sure where we would be without the BG meter to guide us. Last week the nurse threatened to take it away unless MH took the medication she wanted him to take. We then went to see the GP and the practice manager and got it sorted out. Apparently our DSN has been under a lot of stress and she's now on two weeks' holiday. Well, she's not the only one and I wish we could have a holiday.....but still. Anyway, I'm trying for compassion towards her, I really am.

The best thing for me is that we are now working on this as a couple (sounds cheesy, I know) because I can't cope with being at loggerheads with MH - it's not how it's supposed to be after nearly thirty years together.

So, how goes it for everyone else who posted on here? I so hope you are all feeling better and coping well,

Julia

well i had two weeks where i was very good and started losing weight and BGs were improving a bit, then came Easter and all went out of the window and the last two weeks i have eaten wrong stuff and binged a couple of times - so back to square 1. I am getting back on track but its a shame that i keep doing this to myself cause i aint moving forward

Mood swings come with diabetes I have read and also the anger you are feeling could be because of your diagnoses-'why me'. The shock of being diagnosed is a big thing because your old life has gone and you need to adjust to a new way of living. It is probably depression that you are feeling and believe me there is only yourself who can beat this-drugs can help you but it is a determination to beat it that will get you through. The things that have you 'on a short fuse' are a side effect of this. You can do it-reassess the situation and you will have the strength of will and determination to get on with your new life.

Whilst I mostly halve great control of my BG, last week (bug bite issues/higher BG's) I was a little short/quick tempered with everything and I tend to just go quite and ignore everything. My levels are now back and I am feeling great again. I don't like it like that...

SweetHeart said:

Reading all of these posts, my heart goes out to each and every one of you. I know you are all struggling trying to come to terms with the diabetes, the lifestyle changes, the constant medication and the feeling that your life isn't your own any more - it isn't going the way you want it to.

But spare a thought for those on the other end, the opposite side of all this. I am my husband's wife, his friend and his carer. I am the one explaining to our children that Dad doesn't mean it, he's stressed, he'll get better. On top of this, I'm the only one who does the housework and the cooking.

As far as I know I haven't done anything wrong. I do my best to make sure he has absolutely everything he could want.....but it seems that this is not enough. I am not doing enough, I haven't waved a magic wand and made it all go away. I wish I could - don't we all?

But meanwhile, I am the butt of his public snideness, his sulking and his I-don't-give-toss-about-you attitude.

It feels like a very heavy burden to carry. I hope it gets lighter for all of us.

Julia

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I know exactly how you feel at times, but I don't know if its the diabetes, the complications of diabetes, getting older or something else, life in general :? . I don't have a partner,I don't think I could cope with that as well!!!!!! I hope things start to pick up for soon. Best wishes RRB

Give yourself a break Glados ... you're perfectly entitled to NOT tolerate what you don't agree with. I think that's perfectly healthy. I really dislike the word 'tolerance' because it smacks of having to 'put up and shut up' with things our heart doesn't agree with. Yet we're constantly bombarded with the flipping word and made to feel it's a good thing to do.

Yes, there are some things we all have to COMPROMISE on but they're usually not major issues. And yes as we get older and realise we might, perhaps, have compromised ourselves a little too much, tolerated a little too much and not gone along with our own hearts enough, we then get angry.

I think that's what's happening to you. You're taking stock and re-evaluating and readjusting not only your viewpoints but your whole attitude to life and whose company you want to spend it with.

I've been through the same thing with my family. I got more and more tired of picking up after, cleaning up after, being there for everyone because basically I'd become a doormat they took for granted. They didn't even notice when I was becoming more and more ill by the day.

Some people say that one of the character traits of diabetics is their desire to please everyone and make sure everyone is OK, so perhaps at some point we all begin to take stock. I know I've been there for every member of my family, parents, sister, husband and children through thick and thin, and every illness - and there've been many. But now it's my turn ... there's no-one in sight. All too busy.

If depression is directly connected with what you're going through, then I'd suggest getting that addressed. I don't know you and am not a doctor, so am not about to start talking meds etc.
What I will say, is that I have had depression and didn't find that it helped at all with my diabetes. Getting the depression sorted helped a lot in attempting to stabilise my diabetes. It's rubbish now, however that's a whole other story.
I get the irritation, mood swings. or should I say I get that you have them. often low blood sugar will do that . Luckily for all concerned, my girlfriend is just about the most laid back person I've ever met, she sees that I'm getting argumentative and suggests that I do a test, or asks if I fancy a Pepsi? Whatever issue you want to sort out first is up to you, I'd suggest that anything would be easier to sort out if not depressed though.