Cesarean + Shoulder Dystocia

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Wondering if anyone can help, pregnant (33 weeks) with baby number 2. Baby number 1 is 16 months old so still fairly needy.
Was induced at 37 and then again at 38 weeks with first baby who also had shoulder dystocia so wasn't the most straight forward delivery, however it all turned out well! Like the first pregnancy I have managed to stay level and each hba1c has been very good, growth scan last Tuesday was also very good however my consultant is really pushing for a planned cesarean. I am really worried about having a cesarean as despite good blood sugar levels I've never been very good at healing (first pregnancy episotomy took seven months to heal!) and have a 16 month old to look after. We don't have much help in the way of family and also not sure we want to be inviting too many friends due to covid worries, especially as most of them work in a primary school!
Absolutely don't want to go against medical advice however surely a cesarean is not my only option?
Any advice or experience would be greatly appreciated.
Very worried type one
 

NicoleC1971

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I think you need to discuss the risk of an unplanned c section (if your baby is bigger and gets stuck) versus those of the planned section.
Your consultant may be biased towards the latter because you are deemed high risk due the previous issue and your diabetes. Also if you were to have a 3rd you would most likely have to go for a c section if the protocol is that same as it was in my day (12 years ago). Your consultant is also encouraged to have vaginal deliveries so the fact they are advocating a section tells you something.
All I can say is that having had 3 (was not allowed to try for a natural given the protocol for inductions for type 1s) I recovered well. The 2nd was planned and the atmosphere was calm because my son was happy and not premature or in distress We had to time to plan childcare for my daughter, husband was there (not sure if that's allowed now?) and I knew what to expect. Consequently I was and about in 2 days whereas the 1st time I tried to tough it out without pain relief and found it harder but again healed well.
So in the final stretch be open about a section especially if baby has a growth spurt, and keep your blood sugars as low as possible so that you're not vulnerable to poor wound healing should you end up with a 'sun roof'!
 

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Thanks so much for your reply, just nice to know that you were up and about afterwards, so so worried about the aftermath especially with a little one who won't understand. Can I ask how long it took for you to heal?
My first hospital experience was awful so also worried about having to spend more time there.
Just finding it all very stressful especially in and amongst covid x
 

Fairygodmother

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I had two Caesarians, 16 months apart. No Covid, but like you, no help after either of them. Our first daughter was, and still is, a very active person, and I did occasionally find it hard to keep up with her while healing and caring for a newborn.
I agree with Nicole that it’d be a very good idea to talk it through with the Consultant: tell them about lack of help; previous slow healing experience; your concerns about caring for a toddler and a baby while healing and not wanting to pick up a larger child. If you want to throw an extra in, I found that it was hard to keep little hands and feet, and a bouncy bottom away from the incision area. All was well in the end.
Will there be anyone at home with you for the first weeks after after the birth?
 

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Sorry for the late response, thanks ever so much, I'm glad it all worked out well for you, feels good to know that you coped with a similar age gap!!
Yes, my husband will have paternity leave so will have at least a week or so, as I think you have to stay in longer with a cesarean?
Obviously a lot still depends on the growth scans so we'll still have to keep an eye on those and due to covid I haven't actually seen my consultant in person which doesn't help too much!
Is there anything you found particularly helpful whilst healing and looking after your two??
Thanks again
Xx