D
Diabeticliberty
Guest
It is the 2nd Saturday night in the 3rd week of February and it is dark, freezing cold and raining. A tramp walks through the middle of Liverpool City Centre. He is cold, tired, wet and fed up with things. As he peers down at his bare toes peeping out of the front of his toeless right shoe. In front of him he sees a brown paper parcel wrapped up in twine. Feeling really sorry for himself he kicks the parcel and it rolls into the gutter, bursts open as the twine breaks and he finds a brand new, pristine Salvation Army uniform. He looks at his own dirty dishevelled clothes and decides to try on the uniform. His luck has changed completely. The uniform is a perfect fit. He sees a bar as he walks down the street and has an idea. He walks inside and orders a pint of Guinness reaching his hand to his trouser pocket. The barman immediately stops him. ‘This drink is on me. You Salvation Army people are fantastic and the good works you do are worthy of a free drink on the house’. The tramp drink s his pint and begins to recant false tales of how he took the word of God to some of the remotest parts of Africa. People keep coming to the bar and listening to his tales and buying him more and more drink. A lady buys him a meal and by 10.30pm filled with beer and whisky he is really quite drunk. He tells more tales of how he almost got eaten by cannibals before converting them to Christianity. 11.30pm last orders and he is absolutely plastered. He thanks everyone present and staggers towards the door. As he gets there the landlord shouts to him ‘Hey soldier of the Lord, before you go give us a war cry’ The tramp lurches forward a little and screams at the top of his voice ‘GERONIMO!!!!!’
