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coming to terms with things

C

chell7

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3
As a mum with a 12 year old daughter who was diagnosed type 1 4 wk ago, I am feeling totally out of sync with everyone and everything at the moment. It feels overwhelming at times and although she whent from devastation to taking full control of bm's, inj's and doses within about 12 hours of being diagnosed, we are finding this is much more of a challange to come to terms with psychologically. She feels so angry at the moment and fluctuates between arguing with everyone she loves to being really emotional and stressed. This is all so out of character for her as she is normally a fun, bubbly, sparkly, strong character. Shes lost her sparkle at the moment and I feel helpless at enabling her to get it back.

Is this all normal stuff? Any advice would be apreciated at the moment,

Thanks, Michelle x
 
Hi,

It's perfectly normal to be quite emotional and moody when diagnosed with an illness such as diabetes as it is very life changing, especially at 12 years old i would imagine.

Keep treating her like you did before she was diagnosed, she's the same person she was before. As she's taken control of her testing and injections i can see she is a very strong character so i'm sure she will bounce back!

When diagnosed it affects the whole family really, you all sort of adapt and learn to live with diabetes as a team, especially when a child is involved. There are many parents who come on the forum that will offer support and advice so your definately not alone so don't worry. :)
 
Hi

its very hard in the beginning as everyone's emotions are all upside down. Remember that your daughter's blood sugar levels can affect her moods. My 3 year old gets very grumpy when his bloods are too high or too low and big swings make him very unreasonable!

It does get easier (honest!) and it will all become routine eventually. like Ebony says try not to treat her any differently from before but this is hard I know.

And remember you're not alone.

Annette
 
It's still really early days - I would say her reaction is 100% normal. It's horrible being diagnosed, that's just the plain fact of it. As well as the physical things to learn, you kind of have to work out who you are psychologically all over again.
Personally I found things started to get better when I was able to meet some other diabetics, but I suspect at the moment it's too early for that. When you are first diagnosed, sometimes you go through a stage where you don't want to be associated with anything to do with diabetes and diabetics. But might be worth bearing in mind for the future - your local clinic may have groups where people can meet, or Diabetes UK may run something that would be helpful for her.

The fact that she's taken control so fast is great. Managing diabetes is like a whole separate job we have to do as well as normal life - so as others say, do treat her like a normal person, but do keep in mind that she's having to do the extra work as well, and don't forget to be proud of her, not just now but in ten years and twenty years (and many more after that) when she's still slogging away at it.
You WILL be fine, and so will she. Good luck.
 
Hi Michelle

My daughter is 11, diagnosed at 9.
She also copes well with the 'practical' side of things.
It took her a long time to realise that this would be for life, she kept thinking that when her levels came back down to 'normal' that she would be better and not need all the blood tests and injections.
She has been feeling down the last week and a half, she changed from 2 injections to 5 a day 4 weeks ago and is just not coping with it so well but hopefully once her levels settle down again and she gets used to it she will not feel so fed up all the time.
In the last 2 years she has had regular periods where she gets fed up with being diabetic and 'rebels' against it, i am sure this will become worse as she hits the teens!
When she is unstable, big swings up and down in levels or just high a lot of the time i find that she is very stroppy, tearful and also spiteful to her 2 sisters. I don't excuse her behaviour but i am not too hard on her as i know she can not really help it.
Last week i did spoil her a bit when she was feeling really down and that did cheer her up a bit.
 
Thank you all so much for your replys, it helps greatly to hear from other people who completely understand.

I am so so proud of my daughter, she is inspirational, strong and beautifull in every way. Its just heartbreaking to see her struggling to come to terms with everything and I would swap with her in a heartbeat if I could. But I know things will get easier in time and it is great to read some of the inspirational posts on this forum.

Keep up the good work guys!!!

x
 
Chell,

What you are feeling and going through is 100% normal. My son was diagnosed age 11 and for quite a while was very touchy and grumpy. He has done all his injections from Day 1 and cottoned on to to theory of how to manage his diabetes really quickly. What was harder was the anger ie why me, so unfair, you don't have to do this so you have no idea how I feel, type of arguments. He also hated us talking about it and went ballistic if we talked about it in front of anyone non family. He was also very secretive when testing his bloods and injecting.

Now, two and a half years on, he just gets on with it. He largely self manages, just checking what I think his doses should be sometimes. He doesn't rant any more, despite now being a teen, and is less reticent to talk about his diabetes in compnay. He is also happier about testing and injecting in public. I take this as an indication of his acceptance of his status as a diabetic. It has become normal and part of who he is. It doesn't define him, but it is an intergral part of him.

I am sure that things will improve for you and your daughter - you both just need some time to come to terms with it.
 
"I would swap with her in a heartbeat if I could"

If I had a penny for every time that thought has passed my mind.
My daughter who is now 12 was diagnosed 18 months ago and I remember the feeling of the whole world just collapsing around us. I remember sitting at her bedside thinking of ways I can rip my pancreas out and give it to her :lol:
But the world did not collapse and I still have my pancreas... She too managed very well with the routine. We had a few "Why me?" tears, but overall life is pretty much as it should be. She settled very well at her secondary school, she made many new friends. She also carried on with her Swimming which her Diabetes team believe helps her to maintain good blood sugar control. We all still have fun times as a family, we go away on holidays, we swim in the sea, we climb mountains... It just takes a bit more planning and preparation which is now becoming like second nature.
Also don't forget the age. Most twelve year old girls are moody :? It is very hard to figure out when is it sugar levels, when is it hormones, when is it just a her being her. Regular testing usually sheads a bit of light.
Don't get me wrong, I will never be at peace with what fate has dealt to my precious baby. But just because I can't swap pancreases with her does not mean that I cannot help her in many other ways.

It is upto us to give them precious lessons in discipline and routine, in strength and courage, in optimism and resilience, in the power of knowledge and education... All of which will serve them well in many years to come!
And here is an inspiration:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/30/diabetes-85-years_n_868780.html

Now, don't things look alot better now than they did in the 20's:)

Take care and remember you are not alone!
 
Hello
Just read your post. It is difficult at any age I was diagnosed with type 1 at 47years old and still find it hard. However, someone who had been diagnosed since early teens gave me a book called 'Joes Rough Guide to diabetes' which is for all ages and was a great help. I went on a DAFNE course last year and that has helped a lot and you can attend that course too. Hope this helps. Good Luck. :D

Rusty28
 
It's still really early days - I would say her reaction is 100% normal. It's horrible being diagnosed, that's just the plain fact of it. As well as the physical things to learn, you kind of have to work out who you are psychologically all over again.
Personally I found things started to get better when I was able to meet some other diabetics, but I suspect at the moment it's too early for that. When you are first diagnosed, sometimes you go through a stage where you don't want to be associated with anything to do with diabetes and diabetics. But might be worth bearing in mind for the future - your local clinic may have groups where people can meet, or Diabetes UK may run something that would be helpful for her.

The fact that she's taken control so fast is great. Managing diabetes is like a whole separate job we have to do as well as normal life - so as others say, do treat her like a normal person, but do keep in mind that she's having to do the extra work as well, and don't forget to be proud of her, not just now but in ten years and twenty years (and many more after that) when she's still slogging away at it.
You WILL be fine, and so will she. Good luck.
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This was my first thought
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