Pura Vida
Well-Known Member
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.(Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect 'Operator: 'What sort of trouble?'Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'Operator: 'Went away?'Caller: 'They disappeared'Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'Caller: 'Nothing.'Operator: 'Nothing??'Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'Caller: 'How do I tell?'Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'Caller: 'What's a monitor?'Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'Caller: 'I don't know.'Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall..Caller: 'Yes, it is.'Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? 'Caller: 'No.'Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into
theback of your computer..'Caller: 'I can't reach.'Operator: 'OK. Well, can youseeif it is?'Caller: 'No...'Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee onsomethingand lean way over?'Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.'Operator: 'Dark?'Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'Caller: 'I can't..'Operator: 'No? Why not?'Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'Operator: 'A power .... Apower failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?'Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet..'Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up Just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'Operator: 'Tell them you're too damned stupid to own a computer!'
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect 'Operator: 'What sort of trouble?'Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'Operator: 'Went away?'Caller: 'They disappeared'Operator: 'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'Caller: 'Nothing.'Operator: 'Nothing??'Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'Caller: 'How do I tell?'Operator: 'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'Caller: 'What's a monitor?'Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'Caller: 'I don't know.'Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall..Caller: 'Yes, it is.'Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? 'Caller: 'No.'Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into
theback of your computer..'Caller: 'I can't reach.'Operator: 'OK. Well, can youseeif it is?'Caller: 'No...'Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee onsomethingand lean way over?'Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.'Operator: 'Dark?'Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'Caller: 'I can't..'Operator: 'No? Why not?'Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'Operator: 'A power .... Apower failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?'Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet..'Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up Just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'Operator: 'Tell them you're too damned stupid to own a computer!'
