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Confession/Help Please!

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greengiant

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Hi all,

This is my first post on the forum but I've been reading all day and the wealth of knowledge and experience is great. I'd like to tap in to that if possible!

To that end I'd like to start with a bit of a confession. My girlfriend of eight years was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes about six years ago. She was only 19 so as I'm sure you can imagine it was a bit of a shock to the system.

Being the naive young adult that I was, I just sort of left her to get on with it. To be fair, she did knuckle down and get her blood sugars under control, but she still finds it difficult even now.

Just last night she had a hypo just before she went to sleep. She injects Levemir and Novorapid, after meals and before bed, but rarely has the motivation to test her blood sugar levels often, because they just seem so erratic.

Whatever she tries, her sugar levels seem to bounce around like a yoyo. As I'm sure many of you understand, that's incredibly demoralising. And that's where I've been a let down really. I haven't taken enough of an interest and helped her enough.

That's really why I'm posting here. Does anyone have any ideas as to how I can help her to start controlling her blood sugar levels? I'm thinking about trying to help her to do a diary, keep her motivated by being there and taking a serious interest. I want to be able to make suggestions but I just don't understand enough about it.

She wants to be able to lose weight and exercises a lot, but it makes little difference as her insulin always keeps her weight up and when she goes to the gym, she often comes home and has a hypo, meaning she has to eat a sugary, fatty snack.

I feel a bit useless if I'm honest. In fact, I've not been much help at all over the years. But I hope you'll all forgive me as I'm keen to make amends and indeed I want to get it under control and be able to help her out whilst she is young and healthy.

Thanks for your time everyone.

Chris
 
your totally forgiven after that post :) shes lucky to have you as you obviously care a lot about her, im t2 so can be little help with advice but im sure folks with lots of knowledge will come along soon.....maybe encourage her to come on here herself and ask any questions im sure all diabetics like to talk to others going through a similar lifestyle.

good luck!
 
As a youngster and being down with the kids, does she have an iPhone? There's a blood glucose monitor (half price at Boots at the moment) that plugs in and links to an app. Will do lots of graphs etc. May be a motivation.

Perhaps try going to the gym together, eating similar meals together and so on, be a part of it.

Having said that, unfortunately there isnt a lot you can do if someone wont help themself. It can be a difficult balance to get between support and nagging...



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Chris,

After your great post, I think us experts must mostly have decided you don't need any help. Your post is full of concern, sensitivity, and compromise, and that's all you need to help your partner. But you asked for help, so here are a few tips from someone who's had support from their partner for 35+ years...

I think your suggestion of entering her blood results is great. I use a really old, clunky system (Diabetes Mentor) and it really helps when my Other Half enters the results. Mr Happy is right though that most systems these days accept results automatically, so maybe you can help her find the right system for her, by piloting a few. I think it's more important than it might seem.

Without a set of charts that really communicate well what's going on, she might switch off. And it is back to "manage your blood sugars into the right range for ever, or something bad will happen". With a good chart then the task becomes simpler - "do you think you can do something to get of that peak that always happens just before lunch?". That makes things easier, and seeing the improvement in the charts gives really positive feedback. (I wouldn't recommend Diabetes Mentor as its so old, but it has a great chart called the standard day. It takes all the results over whatever period you select and plots them, and works out what the day looks like. You say her results are erratic - a chart like this could help spot the underlying pattern.)

As for meals, I agree it's good if you can both eat the same healthy food. We take turn about in making our evening meals, each one choosing what to make. The idea was that my OH wouldn't have to eat healthily every day. Of course he generally makes healthy food, but it's also clear he things anything can be made healthy with a portion of salad on the side :)

The other thing about food is that, as a man, you should eat more calories than your partner. This is fraught with danger, if she is being disciplined about what she eats. If we share a healthy meal, then my OH is soon tucking into a sugary or fatty snack it can be really irritating. So, a bit of sensitivity with your extra calories will help. Or a large wardrobe you can eat a Dairy Milk in.

I wish both of you all the best. I am sure with your support the diabetes will be less daunting.
Christine
 
Hi.

I have a very supportive OH that would so anything for me, but he does find diabetes confusing, so don't feel bad for finding it overwhelming and not knowing how to help.

The best thing that he does for me is eating healthily with me. Because we eat the same kinds of things and have healthy food in the house I am more likely to make the correct choices and eat less of the things I shouldn't be.


I also agree with the above posts about finding a pattern and using that to help to find where there are consistent highs and lows. I think some blood sugar metres may do this too (you download the data via a computer and can look at the graph to see what is happening with your blood sugar levels), so it is worth asking the GP/ whoever she goes to see for her diabetes.

Another thing I did to help was go on a DAFNE course. This will show her how to carb count and work out her carb/insulin ratios. It will also allow her to meet other diabetics, which may be helpful. This website is also fan to read, as I can relate to what other people are feeling and it makes me feel less alone.

Hope that helps!
 
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