• Guest - w'd love to know what you think about the forum! Take the 2025 Survey »

Confused and Upset

J

jay2506

Member
Messages
21
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Hi Everyone

I've been a member of this forum for a while and posted a few times but have had to reregister as I've forgotten my details. I am so confused at the moment, everything feels overwhelming.

Diagnosed as gestational ten years ago which never went away. Tried diet control and medications and for the first five years or so my control was okay, not outstanding but reasonable.

Gradually over the last two years my control has deteriorated. This is despite reducing carbs, regular exercise, consistent meds etc. My last HbA1c was 9.3% which I accept is a serious issue.

I've discussed with my consultant who has advised going onto insulin. I knew it was coming but I'm having problems coming to terms with this. I used insulin during both of my pregnancies and found it difficult and intrusive. I also carry the kitchen sink around with me so adding to this with pens and snacks etc is going to be a real nuisance (although I know that compared to the possible side affects this is not a big deal).

I accept that I need to follow the experts advice and I am feeling a bit more positive about it. However, what I'm stuggling to understand is why I feel so upset? I've been diagnosed for ten years and knew this day would come eventually. I feel like I've failed and whilst I am thrilled for people who have managed to acheive fabulous HbA1c's wonder what is wrong with me that I haven't managed that.

I'm normally a very competent person and hold down a responsible full time job along with running a home and caring for two children - why is this defeating me?!!

Appreciate any replies.

Jayne
 
achieving a great hba1c is not an easy task we have fought for 4 years to get dylans even under 10 its taken hard work, tears and alot of help from his DSN to get a pump and for the first time since diagnosis he has a hba1c of 9.2 which we were chuffed to bits with its not perfect no but its his best ever result. what im trying to say is dont beat urself up there are loads of diabetics with hba1c like urs all u can do is work at it and hope for the best i understand the upset if ur working hard and not seeing the results from it as we have been in the same boat for years to.

keep smiling dont aim for something too far out of reach small steps are what make the great results for us our next aim is a hba1c in the 8s dont mind where but in the 8s would be fab

anna marie
 
Jayne,

Maybe the reason you are so upset is because at some point the impression was given that you were the one who had control over the condition developing and you could prevent it? If so your response to this news would be a mixture of self-blame and feeling as if you had failed.

It sounds from what you're saying that over the last 2 years your pancreas has stopped producing insulin and this is why your methods are no longer working. You shouldn't see this as a failure on your part but rather just as something that happens through no fault of your own.

Yes it is a nuisance and obviously it would be better not to have it at all but on the plus side you're already reasonably up to speed with all the other aspects and if you had to swap this for another problem of similar magnitude on which you had no background, would you?

It's a shock however you see it. Also the perception of the general uneducated public is that only "bad" diabetics need insulin. That obviously isn't true. For the vast majority those who need insulin are those whose bodies cannot produce it and there is nothing that can be done about it.

Does that help a bit?
 
Thanks both for your replies.

Tigger, yes that does help. Thank you. I think because during my first pregnancy I was told it would go as soon as the baby was born I have had at the back of my mind that it will go away. I know rationally it wont but I've largely been able to give it minimal attention and now I wont be able to do that. Only very close friends even know that I have it and I've not told anyone at work. Not through any embarassment, I just found when I have been open about it previously, people were judgemental and it became the only thing that defined me.

Hopefully, within a few months I'll feel better but it does still feel like a shock. I suppose it will be like going through the inital diagnosis stage all over again!
 
Hi Jayne,

I know exactly how you feel! When I was first diagnosed as Type2 I was told I could keep the diabetes under control for many years if I eat properly and exercise regulary. The specialist joked he wouldn't need to see me for 20 years! I worked really hard. Within a year I'd become really ill. I was reading about how well everyone on this site was managing their BG and I couldn't understand why mine was out of control. I literally couldn't eat a thing without my BG spiking into double figures. 10g carb was the maximum at any meal - even then my BG was going to 9 and above. Basically, the medics had got it wrong - I wasn't Type 2 and I needed to go on insulin. I felt a complete failure and was devastated because I'd previously been told it was within my power to control it. However, once I was on insulin, I felt better almost immediately. It was the best thing I have ever done. It isn't as intrusive as you think - perhaps you used a less flexible insulin regime last time around? Please talk it over with your DSN, because I'm sure things have improved dramatically in the last 10 years. This isn't your fault. Your condition has changed and you need to accept that and take the best treatment for your current situation.

Good luck

Smidge
 
I really do feel confused and upset. When I was told a few weeks ago that I have this condition and I need to control it by diet and exercise I seemed to accept it quite well and thought it was going to be all down to diet and my will power to keep fit etc. I am trying so hard and nothing is happening. I have changed the way I eat, I have no treats at the end of the day. When I am tired and need to sit down I make myself go for a long walk and keep on the go. It has just hit me the shock of what is happening and I don't think I can do it. Why won't the weight come off. I read your posts about people losing lbs really quickly. What is going to happen when I go back to doctor and the nurse in 6 months and I have failed to lose any weight!
 
Hi Charliejack i am newly diagnosed and am finding it hard to lose weight , my nurse was ever so sarcastic and upset me. I have been doing some research on the other meds i take and have found that 1 of my meds can cause weight gain. I have lost 3lb in total and a lot more to go but im losing and not gaining which im happy with. I have cut out almost every bad thing for me we had a curry the other night and i had 1 tablespoon of brown rice i dont eat bread anymore and wasnt really a big bread eater before my diabetes was diagnosed but i was a big potatoe eater. I have started eating more salad's which i enjoy also. I am due to go see the nurse again in june but both myself & hubby are ready for her this time as we have evidence that its 1 of my many meds thats preventing me to reduce my weight. Someone on this forum did advise me that it does take time and i have taken that on board and im not going to beat myself up cos the nurse is not happy with the amount of weight i have lost.. 1lb off is better than 1lb on.

Sandra
 
Well done Sandra sometimes the medical profession have staff that seem to be definately in the wrong job. If you are losing weight that is a positive and if you have the right attitude and work at eating well for your DB you will be ok and remember that if you lose weight slowly you are more likely to keep it off
CAROL
 
Back
Top