This is my second year of diabetes type 1, I'm 16 now and was 15 when I was first diagnosed. It's been a constant struggle with my diabetes, mainly because I just can't accept it. Starting sixth form has triggered things to go downhill I am too embarrassed to tell anyone about it and have only told one person about my diabetes. The school doesn't even know, because of this I don't take my insulin at lunch, or test my blood glucose, it shoots up to 25 by the time i get home this leads me to feeling awful. My school life is suffering, I can't concentrate at school because of the constant highs and my grades are showing it. My mum tries to micro-manage my diabetes but this just encourages me to not try with it. And makes me want to rebel and not accept the fact that I live with a serious illness. I started off with perfect blood glucose levels last year but since my honey moon period ended, my diabetes has been out of control. I feel like a failure when my bloods are high and my mum is aways disappointed in me because of this, so I just don't test. It's almost like if I don't test or don't take my insulin I'm not a diabetic and that I'm not a pin cushion. I know I'm doing this all wrong but I just feel so unmotivated to do anything with my education and diabetes, This has been a massive rant but I found this site and It really made me feel like I'm not alone, it's been really good to get this off my chest as my family judge my diabetes and don't really understand. Thank-you for reading this it means a lot