Depression and Diabetes - advice please

[ButtterflyLady]

I posted this a few days ago:
viewtopic.php?f=15&t=31466

Just a post about learning that I have (very) early signs of retinopathy. This news has added to my stress, and low mood. My normally excellent self-management of food choices has gone downhill in recent months. Loss of motivation is a depression symptom.

I know in my head exactly why I should resist temptation and cravings to give myself 'treats' or take the easy option of convenient/cheap food instead of home cooking/planning/watching family eat whatever they like. For over a year I could ignore their food choices, but now it feels too much to ask of me. If I don't get a grip soon, my weight and my HbA1c will go up.

I didn't think I would slip so far, but I guess most diabetics do at some stage of their journey. I have asked my partner to hide certain foods from me, but honestly I'm going to need a better strategy than that. Scare tactics don't work for me, neither does telling me to pull my socks up. Socks have nothing to do with depression :wink:

And yes I am going to see a specialist about the depression. But I still need help with diabetes management too.

Thanks in advance.

 

[catherinecherub]

Hi,

Depression is something that nobody understands unless they have been there. If it meant wearing a plaster cast somewhere on your body then everyone would be involved in offering you sympathy.

Things must seem pretty bleak for you at the moment with the added worry of retinopathy. I am not going to tell you to pull your socks up as that would be ridiculous in your situation.

You are doing the right thing by seeking help for the depression.

This article has helped people in the past and I am sending you a link.
http://www.diabetesexplained.com/diabet ... ssues.html (There are three parts to it)

Sending you some hugs ((())) and please keep posting as it does help.

CC.

 

[ButtterflyLady]

Thank you very much CC for your kind post and the helpful link. THe article was very good, I will read it again and also show it to my partner.

 

[Juliette40]

Hey you!

Firstly, you need to be proud of the fact that you have done SO WELL with you BMI. That's a fabulous achievement. Don't give up now. Your partner could help further by not having snacks in the house at all. That's what we do. I had a similar BMI to yours and have now got it down to 23. Having the bad news about retinopathy is tragic after all your hard work, but it doesn't mean the slippery slope. Laser treatment can help and, as my brother who is type 1 found, it can be reversed once BG is under control.

I know that depression is a big demotivator as I am diagnosed with clinical depression...have had it for about 4 years now. Your partner needs to understand where you are coming from and this may mean that you need to be more open with him/her. I'm a great believer in talking therapies. I'm pleased and relieved to hear that you are seeking specialist help for your depression. Well done for taking that vital first step. You now need to believe that you have the power to turn this around...a tall order, I know, but it's true.

My advice would be to reseaarch the facts and your true prognosis first. Speak to your GP or consultant about this. Then see what physical steps you can take to improve the situation. Make friends and family aware so that they can support you and be there when you have a tough day. Sometimes a hug goes a long way...even if you end up crying afterwards. Avoid isolation. During depression it is natural to become reclusive. A short stroll on a lovely day like today helps in so many ways. It gives you precious chat time with the friend you walk with, and the sunlight naturally improves your mood and chemicals in your brain. If you are a comfort eater, like I was, switch to healthy snacks. I recommend frozen grapes in summer. You don't need guilt from indulging too.

I wish you sincere best wishes. The forum's here if you need us.
Love Juliette x

 

[claymic]

Hi

Big hugs from me....I recognize alot of what has been said. I have never been properly diagnosed but i know that i suffer from depression....or the likes. I know how it feels to have that overwhelming feeling that you have control over nothing...that things are too much to cope with.

yesterday i saw a good program which dealt about mental illness. i recognised the feeling of wanting to isolate yourself from everyone and to push people away because you think they are better off without you.

i still find it hard to accept my diabetes even after 8 years of diagnoses...coupled with other stuff in my life...sometimes i just dont want to do it anymore.... but we need to keep trying cause in the end giving up is not an option...

so...more hugs coming your way!!!!!

 

[Juliette40]

Hi
yesterday i saw a good program which dealt about mental illness. i recognised the feeling of wanting to isolate yourself from everyone and to push people away because you think they are better off without you.

but we need to keep trying cause in the end giving up is not an option...

Dear Claymic

Juliette here again. I saw Ruby Wax's programme last night too. It was quite moving and brought a lot of memories back. It helped me rationalise and justify how I felt and sometimes feel now. Three times I tried suicide. Clearly I failed and recognise this as a call for help. I'd urge anyone out there to seek help - phone Samaritans or a friend if ever they feel that low. You MUST talk to someone.

The series continues all week it seems. I think it will make eye-opening viewing.

On a plus note about depression. At the end of the interview for the teaching assistant job I now do, they asked if I had anything to add to my case. I bravely told them about my nervous breakdown and that I was in recovery. Amazingly they were fine and most understanding. They said it wouldn't affect my application...and clearly it didn't. If only every employer was as open minded. I wish Ruby Wax success in her campaign to irradicate the stigma attached to mental health.

Regards
Juliette x :crazy: :thumbup:

 

[ButtterflyLady]

Hi
Yesterday i saw a good program which dealt about mental illness. i recognised the feeling of wanting to isolate yourself from everyone and to push people away because you think they are better off without you.

...sometimes i just dont want to do it anymore.... but we need to keep trying cause in the end giving up is not an option...

Sometimes I isolate myself for that reason, but often it's simply because I don't want to deal with people, and so it's a healthy way of just looking after myself. Isolation/withdrawal is a symptom of depression - it's one of the warning signs I use to recognise when I'm heading into depression. IMO if you think others are better off without you, you should talk to a counsellor or doctor, because that can be a sign of suicidal thinking. Most of the time people who think that do not commit suicide, but the medical guidelines are that they should seek help, in case the feeling gets worse and the person becomes seriously at risk.

Many of us will know of someone who has committed or attempted suicide. It's so important to get things out in the open and get help. Don't be afraid to do something if you have worries about a loved one. Better safe than sorry.

"giving up is not an option" - I get what you meant by that, but I would add that it IS an option, but each day when we choose life, we are choosing not to give up, and that's worth celebrating. Some days I might treat my diabetes pretty poorly, eating food I shouldn't, but it's important that I don't go on a guilt trip about it, because that makes my other illness, depression, even worse.

I've seen some people post here about themselves or a loved one with diabetes, and the diabetic is not managing their illness in any way close to a healthy way. If the HbA1C is consistently high, and there isn't a good clinical reason (eg a very hard-to-treat case despite good medical help), then the person is not making the best choices for them.

I met a woman the other day through my work who is in her 60s, obese, and has heart disease, and I asked her if she gets tested regularly for diabetes. She said she wouldn't want to know if she had it, it would be too stressful for her. I had to restrain my urge to tell her off. I just said that I was glad to find out I had it, so I could manage it and prevent the scary complications. Even then she still reacted defensively. Some people. You just can't help them. It reminded me to focus on myself instead.