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Desperate. Type1 daughter.

I'm getting to replying to you all... But the dogs are running riot around the house at the moment!! We rescued a female patterdale cross who we didn't know was pregnant, she had 4 pups, we kept one, rehomed 3, but one was returned last week as the lady's other dog took exception to the pup, already had 2 other dogs so currently have 5 chasing each other around the house .. Trying to find the returned pup a new home as the longer she stays... Harder to let her go...but the thundering of 20 paws is setting the 5 guinea pigs. Yup, I have a zoo. As also have a rabbit.
 
Haven't quite figured out how to send you a message yet!! But I'd love the details please.

Draining, yes.... When Vicky was between the ages of 11 and 16, I fell out with her paediatric nurse... I was told I had to put Vicky first before all the others by this nurse, that even if the Hannah , my autistic daughter was kicking off at my son, I had to stay with Vicky if she was doing a check or injection... That it was life or death for her, I replied saying that if Hannah was kicking off at my son, I could not do that as it was at a time Hannah was very aggressive and would only lash at at males be it at school or home, she would bite, scratch, hit, throw things, kick... I was then told by the nurse, that it would be classed as neglect and documented as such if I did not do as she said... To say I kicked off was an understatement. Then it got to the point that each time Vicky was taken to hospital... The nurse would get social services on to me citing neglect...they would come in, talk to all the kids, investigate, then close the case. Not fun years. It drove a wedge between my eldest two as my son said, that Vicky was killing herself slowly and he didn't want it to hurt when she finally succeeded.
 
Oh Maz, you have had a horrible time & you have done fabulously well, honestly you really have. Anybody in this world that comments on your addiction in a nasty way is lying to themselves in one way or another, as we all have flaws & do things that society believes is wrong, but we are all human & sometimes we just can't cope, its all to much. All anybody can do is accept what they have done & learn from it, which you have. I congratulate you & say keep fighting.

Seeing your beautiful daughter smiling is amazing & yes seems like she is a miracle. Maybe she needs to get her doctor/consultant fighting for high level input from the mental health team, though I know from my own experience it is far from easy to achieve,but if you complain to somebody high enough up at the hospital I would hope she would get some support.

Maz please keep talking to all of us, it sounds like you don't have much of a support network & I am sure there are many on here who will want to try & help you. Hugs xx
 
Maz I am sorry for what you and your daughter are going through. 20 years ago I was like that, or some version of it, I wouldn't take my diabetes seriously no matter what my parents did. If they tried to get involved they were interfering, if they left me be it was confirmation in my warped mind that my diabetes wasn't all that serious.

It must be the hardest thing to watch as a parent, I had no idea until I was a parent myself what I put my own parents through.

Wishing you both the very best of luck to get through this
 
Maz, if your daughter is missing her injections it is very possible she is doing it to lose weight, this was my main motivation to miss injections when I was younger. If she gets to a point where she's willing to talk about it, you may find these people very helpful http://www.dwed.org.uk/ as it is a group/charity/website for eating disordered diabetics. Of course I could be off the mark here, but I know for a lot of young diabetics the fear of weight gain can be a significant factor in the decision to omit insulin.
 
I agree, there should be more.. I've read and been told over the years that the teenage years for a diabetic are the most dangerous years even for compliant diabetics.. Also winter and summer are when hospitals see more diabetics in a and e.. That was told to me by the a and e staff at Lincoln hospital . Too often it's patch them up and ship them out then your left to your own devices which is what has happened time after time after time to us. Trying to get help, forget it unless your under the paediatric team, once they hit 18... Nothing a parent can do.
 
Hey @Maz73 It's definately a challenge because if she's not prepared to seek out help and accept that she does need it then she is almost in denial of her condition. Can her boyfriend help in any way ? Surely the shock of this recent admission will persuade him to get her to seek help ?
 
I think part of the problem is that the mental health team don't know enough about diabeties & how it can be used to self harm or to enable weight loss. I wonder if there are any specialised therapists that deal with this? x
 
Hello Maz, It was so good to hear from you, and even better to know that your daughter has pulled through the crisis, that was a big relief. She is such a beautiful young lady, and I think we all feel for your pain, then and now, that she's not yet taking things seriously after what's happened. You have done so wonderfully well in coping with and overcoming so many difficulties in your life, and let's face it, there are plenty of us that would have turned to drink if we had to cope with the stuff you have. You are just amazing to have overcome all those things and don't ever let anyone tell you you're wrong or not good enough. Whenever you feel you need to let off steam you can come here and rant and curse as much as you want, there's always someone here to listen and to give support.

Like Juicyj says, I wonder if the boyfriend can be recruited to help now that he's seen how bad things can get.
 
Hello Maz, it's wonderful to hear the news that your daughter has pulled through and the photo's of her smiling were so heartwarming You have been through such an ordeal lately, I sincerely hope that your daughter, one day, will look back at her critical time in hospital and learn from it, with hope, courage and the strength to put it all into making a more positive, happier, brighter and a healthier life for herself. Whether she can or wants to do this, only she will really know, but I wish you and your daughter all the very best, take care of yourself, RRB x
 
Hi maz
I am sorry to hear you have been going through the mill of things. I was diagnosed with type one as a teenager. They linked me up with some fellow teens as a means of support. Echoing what some people have said some medical people don't get it and I can hear how much you are stretched. Mums job is so hard at best of times but when you have a child walking on the edge it's so hard.

I just wondered has she any diabetic friends? I can hear she isn't motivated at the moment and I guess she wouldn't want something like a continuous blood glucose monitor or pump. I know they can be big on the body and discreet too. I guess i can't give advice, I can only say I sympathise I've meet a lot of diabetics who struggle to have any motivation and its a twisting inside feeling to be powerless to help them when they aren't helping themselves. Remember you are doing awesome supporting yourself by talking having help and I wondered does diabetes uk have any support meetings around your way?
 
linnyb said:
I think part of the problem is that the mental health team don't know enough about diabeties & how it can be used to self harm or to enable weight loss. I wonder if there are any specialised therapists that deal with this? x
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I was lucky enough to be referred to a cognitive analytical therapist through my diabetes centre back in 2009 which very possibly saved my life and sight... I know mh care for diabetics is patchy now though and would not be suprised if such funding is no longer available.
 
Thanks for your reply. I have mental health issues & sometimes use my diabetes to self harm, I have been referred for help 3 times by my fab gp, but have been told each time that they won't help as it isn't a life threatening issue! I am still struggling & willing to accept help but none there, certainly in my area. I have asked for an out of area referral for diabetic care & am hoping they will push the mental health team to help. So glad you got the help, just too many cut backs in all areas these days. Gooodness that made me sound old lol!!!
 
Wow it's shocking they aren't supporting. What kind of help would be your ideal? Like a counsellor, psychiatrist???

Cuts are pants and sometimes it's the whole tickie boxes thing too just the system sucks! May I ask your area?
 
Just to further add there are counsellors who either have it or are aware of its effects. Usually private though but it depends what is needed
 
Fayefaye1429 said:
Wow it's shocking they aren't supporting. What kind of help would be your ideal? Like a counsellor, psychiatrist???

Cuts are pants and sometimes it's the whole tickie boxes thing too just the system sucks! May I ask your area?
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Yes, North West Lancashire. An understanding CPN would be ideal or someone who could help me deal with my self hate. I don't feel I am good enough for this world, my friends or my family. I have tried to fight through & my husband gives me a low level back ground insulin, but when my sugar levels lower I freak out & my thoughts become very dark. I know its a vicious cycle & I have asked for help, but it just isn't there. I would willingly pay privately but just can't afford it.x
 
Hi it sounds difficult I guess a therpist might be helpful I guess it's more about the person understanding and connecting to than profession In Some ways? I guess it's how much someone might charge how long and what could help
 
If you have the means, it is well worth considering going private. If it is in the long term interests of your health then it may be something you can prioritise although I know it's not affordable for all. Check out http://www.acat.me.uk/page/about+cat ifyou are interested in this therapy which I found very successful for my diabetes related issues. It's a brief therapy (16 sessions limit) so would cost £500-£600 in total.
 
Fayefaye1429 said:
Hi it sounds difficult I guess a therpist might be helpful I guess it's more about the person understanding and connecting to than profession In Some ways? I guess it's how much someone might charge how long and what could help
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Its definately about feeling your therapist understands & wants to help. I know my mental health diagnosis also makes it difficult, but I have always been open & honest with the mental health team as I always felt it was my job to provide them with the full picture & I now feel very let down that I have been lied to in order for them to discharge me without any help with the insulin on numerous occasions now. Thank you for the support. I have got another referrral appointment with them next week, but not expecting help. GP unhappy with the team. x
 
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I have had a look at the link & it looks like something that may help. Unfortunately money is that tight we struggle to do a weekly shop. No chance of hols or private therapy. Thank you so much for the support. I have been re-referred back to mental health services, I have an appointment next week but am expecting the same response from them again, but have also got an out of area diabetic referral & am hoping maybe they will put some pressure on mental health to provide support. x
 
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