Diabetes burn out

[craftyguyuk]

I have waited a good few years to get my Consultant to agree that I needed an operation, my GP referred me to the Consultant recommending this op. I has to go for a pre op assessment, I was asked about my heart problems and the pending tests, I informed him that my heart was fine and that I was not waiting for any tests and that all this information was in my notes that he kept flicking the pages over. I was asked about my diabetes and why over the last months had I not been injecting insulin regularly? I advised him that my wife was dependant on me as her carer and that she had been at rock bottom telling me that she couldn't carry on, I said that she was my priority through this period and that I simply forgot to inject, he told me that my operation was cancelled until I got a grip of myself, quite honestly I am at rock bottom myself. I was told that I was an uncontrolled diabetic and this couldn't carry on. I told him to forget my operation I was no longer going ahead with it, after all it wasn't life threatening. Now.... I cant get back into testing 4 times a day and insulin 4 times a day, has anyone else been there?

 

[himtoo]

perhaps a bit harsh but simple -- you are no good for your wife if you are not looking after yourself
you need to find your motivation from wherever you can - your wife needs you !!!!!!!!!

 

[ickihun]

Yes. Been there and coming through it slowly.

My priority was my husband and kids when my partner had a breakdown.
I couldnt put all my efforts into MY diabetes when my mind was needed elsewhere. However, in the long run it's turned out that due to my burnout my back gave up and my meds stopped working for my diabetes. Metformin didn't even help with my hormone problems either. I became a mess. I began to lose weight but my hba1c rocketted to 114. My gp referred me to diabesity clinic at my nearest hospital. I've found a diligent dn and endocrologist who put me straight on insulin therapy.
Uncontrolled diabetes led me here.
I've found some loving caring, sharing type2s and a few type1s too who I've learned a lot from.

You have come to the right place for support and understanding.

You need a healthy life to continue helping your wife and others you care about.
Something will give. It cannot be you as you're needed so much.
Like @himtoo posted you need to be well to be able to look after your wife.
Do you know your determination can make the biggest difference here. More than testing and injecting.
Do you think a bit counselling from your diabetes team would be invaluable? Would you attend the sessions?
Both support from your team and your own determination to get well again would fix this.
Can you muster the grit?

I think you can.
You need to for yourself...... and your wife.

If I can. Anyone can.
I've always prefered to put others first. I found it easier that way.

I still get sarcastic comments from my spoilt husband/partner when I need to put my diabetes first. I can live with that, especially if I outlive him due to taking care of myself to be able to enjoy my retirement and hopefully grandchildren.

Start today and get a paper diary from your cupboard and plan your insulin injections and check for adequate meds and accessories to make your injections start working for you. Ask to see if you can have less injection insulin therapy and tell your team why it would help.

You can do this!!!!
Keep us updated, please.

 

[pavlosn]

At times of crisis, we humans have an instinct to use tunnel vision. Concentrate only on the essential life threatening situation discounting everything else as superfluous.

This is a good short term tactic and has served us well over the years to cope with immediate danger.

Tunnel vision is a very bad long term strategy as, by definition, it avoids the bigger picture.

And the bigger long term picture is that you can only take of your wife if you take care of yourself first. It's like they keep telling us on the aeroplanes, should, in case of loss of cabin oxygen pressure the emergency oxygen masks drop, ensure to put yours safely on before doing so for any children in your care.

What will happen to your wife if something bad happens to your health, as it will if you do not take care of your diabetes?

Do not be afraid to reach our for help or support, even if just emotional. Could the local authority provide some care help for instance?

Sometimes things can appear stuck against us and the obstacles insurnountabe. No one is asking you to climb the whole mountain though. Put smaller achievable targets. Take that first step and then that next one in that right direction. Soon that mountain will start looking much smaller.

I do not wish to trivialize the difficulties of your situation. But the mind is a very powerful tool. We can achieve a lot once we make our mind to do so.

And you do not have to do so alone. You will find plenty of support and practical advice on this forum from individuals who have been through similar difficulties.

Stay strong my friend and make a start.

Sent from my SM-G935F using Diabetes.co.uk Forum mobile app

 

[DavidGrahamJones]

he told me that my operation was cancelled until I got a grip of myself

Sounds harsh and although I understand that these people have to "tick the boxes" to ensure a successful surgical outcome, I'd be tempted to think he was looking for an excuse not to do the operation. Unfortunately you have removed yourself from the system, a bit like cutting off your nose to spite your face. Nobody will have been affected by that decision but you.

Now.... I cant get back into testing 4 times a day and insulin 4 times a day, has anyone else been there?

I have often felt that I just can't go on, then got on with it. It's important that you look after yourself and do what has to be done. All the best.

 

[Kentoldlady1]

Hello. Not had the burn out but I do understand the stress of caring.
Do you get any help?
May I ask what you have to do on a daily basis?
Has anyone ever offered you any support?
Does your wife have an understanding of your health?

Sorry for all the questions, but I have also been a carer for someone that I love and have a little understanding of how difficult it can be.