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Diabetes Denial

J

JJUK

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5
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West Midlands
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Diabetes
Hi,
sorry for posting this and it might seem very selfish of me but i need help with this.

I am an 18 year old male from the west midlands have had diabetes since the age of 12 and his been a nightmare, it has never been controlled and i have never really come to terms with my diabetes. i have blood sugars of H1 at times, i am on Novo Rapid (carb count) and 54 units of Glargine (Lantus)

i really do hate my diabetes and can't stand the sight of it. My last Hba1c was 12.5. I have been told 6 months ago that i have a start diabetic changes in my eyes.

Is there anyone else like this? also is there anything i can do, i don't want anything to happen to me but at the same time i can't seem to get round to coping with my diabetes.

I also suffer from really bad depression an have tried committing suicide god knows how many times, sometimes by taking an overdose with my insulin and others by not taking my insulin at all.
 
Hi SarahQ
Thanks, I used to take all my insulins but since my diabetes got worse i have been missing alot of insuins out. I don't do my blood sugars anymore, if i do then i do about 2 a week instead of 4 a day which is what they asked for, and due to me not doing my bloods they said they cant put me on a pump, as if i went on a pump then i would need to do more bloods than if i wasnt on a pump.

i am really sick and tired of it, my dad has even said if there is a treatment out there then he would pay for me. I have put a request for a Pancreas transplant but i had a letter declining it.

the carb count is i take different amounts of insulin on depending on what food i take, so if i only have a bowl of ceral then i work out the carbs and ake insulin depending on the carbs, my carb count it 2 units for every carb
 
Been exactly where you are - still there to some extents! My HbA1c will not go down no mater what I try, my kidneys are showing signs of the strain and I've had laser on both eyes 18 months ago. Some days I think why bother but I've beendiabetic so long its just become routine for me I do the injections and blood tests without thinking.

You have to think ahead though - don't forget the insulins they are the key to your future, trust me complications from diabetes are so painful and so life stopping your only 18 you can change things. If you want to talk I'm more than happy to offer any help I can!
 
JJ, please whatever you do, don't give up. You only have one life and don't throw it away, no matter what the quality of it may seem. I'm only new to this but there are plenty here who can help. Please talk to someone, either family or friends or someone on this forum.
 
Thanks KimSuzanne
I am really sorry to hear about your eyes and kidneys, I really really want to get this sorted out now, I have a great girlfriend an have goy everything infornt of me which i couldn't see before. I even work for an amulance service but they have told me the way i am at the momment i will unable to drive the ambulances once i completed training.

It is really scaring me now, where as before i was that depressed i didn't care what happened to me,

Also thanks popps

as i said above i really do want to get this under control now. I had the help off my friends and family and even NHS staff but i wouldn't accept it because i was that p*** off with my diabetes.
but from now on i am going to accept all the help i get because i dn't want to lose my eyes / kidneys

Thanks, JJ
 
Its good to hear that you've accepted the need for help - the hardest thing is to say that! Your eyes will be fine as long as you do something now, the laser corrected mine and thankfully they've stayed good and my kidneys were never great.

Speak to your GP or if you can the diabetic nurses they're the best people to offer you the help and guidance. Good Luck!
 
High blood sugars can make you feel rotten all by themselves.

If you can make a huge effort to control your blood sugars you may find that they no longer can control your moods.
 
Don't be too hard on yourself. I've always taken care of my diabetes and got the same warning about my eyes last year (am 24 now).
 
Thanks lionrampant & Katherine

How long does it take normally for your body to start changing and blindness etc to start?, i was i got ages away yet before anything happens but then i had a letter through my door saying i got Diabetic changes and also a doctor saying my kidneys will be the same soon. :S
 
JJ,

I was diagnosed T1 quite late in life (42) and went from being really healthy (I'm in the Army) to having a potentially fatal illness. My initial response was to get really into it and I read a lot of books and managed to keep my HbA1C really down. As time has gone on, my enthusiasm and control has not been as good, although I am still in single figures.

I struggle to remotivate myself from time to time, but in the end it has to come from inside of you. You have to want to improve. I guess with the dose of Lantus you are on, you may not be as fit as you would like to be and perhaps this also plays into variable feelings of self worth. Life is precious and is in our own hands to make the most of it. Doing more exercise will improve your BG control and make you feel better about yourself and your condition. I know that I am at my best in terms of control and feeling good about myself when off doing something like skiing, which really does burn off the carbs. However, don't go beserk as you will never keep it up. As with women and diets (usually about getting fit fot he bikini season) life style change is the only way to make a sustainable difference.

Today - I have started cycling to work again. It's only a mile of so, but i will do it twice a day in each direction - so, 4 or 5 miles.

The other thing I found that helped was stopping hiding away taking injections - I now do it wherever I am - restaurant, office etc. If people don't like it, they can look away. I do it straight through my shirt, which seems to cause no difficulties.

Good luck and don't give up - we can beat this thing.

Nigel
 
Blindness isn't a dead cert mate. Good control can limit all damage. Watch your blood pressure - I know consultants who are starting to view blood pressure control as being equally, if not more important, that blood glucose levels.

And we can always hope someone will come along and start giving us c-peptide injections.
 
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