Thinking back to yesterday's Cyprus youth chess tournament that my son participated in, I can't help feeling that once again he has showed me that he is made of a sterner metal than I am.
He finished in fourth position just outside the prizes, after going into his last game knowing victory would hove meant that he would be champion. He lost but accepted his defeat with grace admitting that he lost to a better opponent, at least on the day.
He finished on an equal number of wins and consequently points as the boy who placed third.
He lost third place by the tiniest of margins. When in chess two players finish on the same number of points then there are pre agreed ways of splitting them. In the case of this particular tournament, the method used was by comparing the total points scored by the opponents each player faced, which is considered a proxy for how difficult these opponents are. The player whose opponents have scored the most points is considered the winner. My son lost third place by 19,5 points to 20 i.e. By half a point, the smallest point increment possible in chess.
This must have been very disappointing for him, as third position was his minimum target going into the tournament and is the lowest position for which a cup is awarded.
Did he show his disappointment?
Not a bid of it!
He sat through the whole of the awards ceremony cheering every prize presentation. He cheered especially enthusiastically for the boy , actually a classmate and friend of his, who beat him so narrowly to third spot.
And when it was time for participants not finishing in the top three to receive their participation medal, he was first in line.
Sometimes, how a person responds to a setback and to disappointment can really set him apart as a true champion..... at least in the eyes of this proud parent.
Winning is important but it is not the only thing that matters and not at all costs.
Showing respect for your sport and your opponents and knowing how to accept defeat with grace are just as important life lessons for our children to learn.
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