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<blockquote data-quote="sedge" data-source="post: 97578" data-attributes="member: 446"><p>Speaking as a female, loss of libido is a complete bummer. I do have a lovely husband who has NP in that area but unfortunately because it gives him pleasure and is a real turn-on for him, he does not seem able (whether by poor original design or training/experience) to appreciate that it is perfectly possible for me, to do the deed with enjoyment without actually having several orgasms. This makes the pressure on me to perform even greater and (I'm sure!!) makes the outcome even less likely.</p><p></p><p>Yes, you do have to talk. Sometimes quite a lot. Sometimes you have to say the same things over and over. As long as you don't argue about it!!!</p><p></p><p>Depression - now that's another story. When you already have depression/anxiety, GP's will tell you that's why you have lost your libido. Well - it sure doesn't help that's true. But when they dismiss loss of libido and seem to think 'that's solved' is where you and I start to lose our tempers, get even more depressed/anxious etc etc etc. The other thing that doesn't help is that some anti-depressive drugs absolutely KILL libido; it is more documented for men (because it's easier to measure) but I know very well that at least one very, very common drug actually lists loss of female libido as a side-effect in the leaflet in the pack.</p><p></p><p>The key (as far as I've been able to work out!) is a combination of feeling at one with myself and the world and feeling very relaxed before I even contemplate sex. Things which don't happen very often simultaneously.</p><p></p><p>Once I have a spark, I very often need to conjure up something I think is very sexy AT THAT MOMENT to keep me going, then I do reach the automatic phase and don't have to think any more. Men don't have much imagination in these things. Seem to think that cos you once told em you had an image of a fireman or a VWE male (or whatever it was at that moment) - then that image is always going to do it for you, I often shout, 'Shuttup!!", in fact - and he does what he's told and doesn't take offence but keeps on with whatever is happening physically. But understand it? - no.</p><p></p><p>I mean if I knew what it was that would always do it for me, then 'twould be easy, wouldn't it?</p><p></p><p>I remember being totally and utterly gobsmacked to read that men (generally) think of sex - in one form or another - multiple times daily. I forget how many times they said, but it was a ridiculously huge amount of times. Every so many seconds. </p><p></p><p>Now, <strong>I</strong> can't understand <strong>that</strong> !!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="sedge, post: 97578, member: 446"] Speaking as a female, loss of libido is a complete bummer. I do have a lovely husband who has NP in that area but unfortunately because it gives him pleasure and is a real turn-on for him, he does not seem able (whether by poor original design or training/experience) to appreciate that it is perfectly possible for me, to do the deed with enjoyment without actually having several orgasms. This makes the pressure on me to perform even greater and (I'm sure!!) makes the outcome even less likely. Yes, you do have to talk. Sometimes quite a lot. Sometimes you have to say the same things over and over. As long as you don't argue about it!!! Depression - now that's another story. When you already have depression/anxiety, GP's will tell you that's why you have lost your libido. Well - it sure doesn't help that's true. But when they dismiss loss of libido and seem to think 'that's solved' is where you and I start to lose our tempers, get even more depressed/anxious etc etc etc. The other thing that doesn't help is that some anti-depressive drugs absolutely KILL libido; it is more documented for men (because it's easier to measure) but I know very well that at least one very, very common drug actually lists loss of female libido as a side-effect in the leaflet in the pack. The key (as far as I've been able to work out!) is a combination of feeling at one with myself and the world and feeling very relaxed before I even contemplate sex. Things which don't happen very often simultaneously. Once I have a spark, I very often need to conjure up something I think is very sexy AT THAT MOMENT to keep me going, then I do reach the automatic phase and don't have to think any more. Men don't have much imagination in these things. Seem to think that cos you once told em you had an image of a fireman or a VWE male (or whatever it was at that moment) - then that image is always going to do it for you, I often shout, 'Shuttup!!", in fact - and he does what he's told and doesn't take offence but keeps on with whatever is happening physically. But understand it? - no. I mean if I knew what it was that would always do it for me, then 'twould be easy, wouldn't it? I remember being totally and utterly gobsmacked to read that men (generally) think of sex - in one form or another - multiple times daily. I forget how many times they said, but it was a ridiculously huge amount of times. Every so many seconds. Now, [b]I[/b] can't understand [b]that[/b] !!!! [/QUOTE]
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