Hello Debrasue,
Firstly, I feel the need to thank you for taking the time to read my post, think about it and write a reply. I also wish to thank you for the kind and mellow way that you address to me, I very much appreciate your sensitive approach.
I also feel the need to thank Lynz84 for giving me space in her thread so as I may reply. This is not my thread, it is Lynz’s thread so I am reluctant to discuss my approach regarding my own situation.
However, my post is related to diabetes manners so, I feel it is relevant to the subject that we are discussing.
Allow me to tell you a brief story. When I was young(er)
as a University student, I was obligated by the curriculum to take the course “Classical Political Philosophies”. On the first day that we entered the class, our professor (who was an elderly man, and looked as if Freud and Aristotle had a baby) drew on the board two concentric circles, one wider than the other. He said that one circle is the “legal”; the other circle is the “ethical”. Legal and ethical may co-incide but, in some cases, what is legal, is not necessarily ethical (and it, certainly, is not necessarily kind.)
This is something that always followed me in my life. You may have noticed that, sometimes, we hear about a practice that a political/wealthy person has conducted which is, indeed, within legal boundaries (hence he is not prosecuted) however, the social feeling is that his practice is, in fact, unjust and unethical (and, certainly, not kind towards society.)
I will transfer this to our current discussion.
Indeed, we are legally described as “disabled”. However, the fact that the law is giving us this description doesn’t make the description ethical nor kind.
As a result, I would not particularly mind if the law address to me as a disabled person yet, I am not satisfied when a person close to me, a relative, a friend, a partner addresess to me by my “legal term” because I expect from these people to be kind.
When it comes to diabetes, (as well as other challenging conditions) a well-mannered person is not a "legally compliant" person; instead, he/she is a kind and sensitive person.
Which brings me to my second point where “efforts become hard to watch”.
In my view, this is not how to encourage someone to keep fighting. The phrase in itself reveals an approach which suggests that every effort is painful and futile. I feel that we need to empower people by congratulating them for trying, for doing their best, for not giving up.
I read threads in this forum every day and I see good people who strive and worry and try and fall on their knees and get tired; who abandon themselves and ask for help and encouragement because they want to find the inner strength to keep on fighting. Telling them that the effort is too great and painful is not a way to inspire them to continue.
Therefore, I honestly feel that we should stop providing excuses to adults who are rude, insensitive, clumsy with their words and unkind. From a child, I would expect and forgive an unkind approach but, I do expect from adults to demonstrate some kind of sensitivity even for reasons of formality and/or political correctness.
Thank you very much for reading my post.
I wish you all a fine day and I hope that your levels are on fleek!!
Regards
Josephine.