Diabetes with Eating Disorders

Some of you may remember me, probably mostly from a negative point of view as I think I was deemed pretty much a pain in the ass and was mostly told to pull my socks up, though also recieved much help and support from many.

I am now 9 months into an inpatient stay for my eating disorder and have a dual diagnoses of borderline personality disorder as well, but though I am a long way off recovery, my control has at least improved due to the fact that I have to comply with my medication (last Hba1c was 6.7). However, mentally I am still struggling with the ability to do this for myself and have resorted to other non-helpful ways, thoug far less life threatening to maintain and reduce my weight.

The ward Dr gave me this link for a charity set up for people in my situation and I thought it might be helpful to others and it is so could that there is someone passionately driving this most ignored, yet not uncommen issue to make sure there is appropriate care available.

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I do want to get better, it is a long hard journey, but having to live in London, so far away from my husband and children is awful.

I don't mind it being hijacked! Just hope that maybe some people who could benefit from the info get to see it. My husband is actually applying for a press officer job for DWED, as he is of course very passionate about it. I saw my own diabetes nurse today, which was great (meant a day out off the unit and 2 cappuccino's), I mentioned it to her and she hadn't heard of it, so is off to check it out. My old psychotherapist who specialises is diabulimia and lectures on it at Masters level advocates it very much. To be honest, I have yet to go through it all thoroughly, but it's hard to find decent time between the program offered here, when you have enough energy and concentration.

Another thing I have noticed is that now I am eating less and complying with the insulin, I am needing far less insulin to maintain reasonable control. Control is still not great and needs a lot of tweaking, but my BMs are so labile at the moment. I can often have days where I eat exactly the same thing 2 days running, with no difference in activity level and get very different results. I have also become a lot more sensitive to insulin in the evening time and have to half my insulin:CHO ratio compared to lunch and breakfast.

I used to be on the pump, but that was taken off me last March as it was too easy to abuse. DonnelleysDogs, unfortunately, it is not a path that anyone really chooses with a clear mind, mental disorders distort the world and the right thing, as you see it, even if you understand the consequences fully is often the most wrong thing and once you are 'in it', it is very hard to get out of.

I have possibly ruined my whole career (was in the last 3 months of my midwifery degree) when I had to take an intermission from the course and though uni are willing to see me to discuss possibility of return, I am stil unlikely to be discharged from here for a few months and there will need to be structured after care when I leave, which will not leave enough time to complete the course (1 dissertation and 15 weeks of practice is all I had left), but I will keep the credits I did earn and should be able at least to work in that field doing something.

I have to get better now, I am 36 and this has been with me since I was 13 years old and I started asking for help at 21 and been in and out of crisis. I am so lucky to still have all my vital organs working well, my sight and my limbs. Others abuse diabetes far less, for less time and appear to get complications much easier. I know this delay does not mean immunity, but I can change things if I keep well now and have a chance to see my children get married and see their grandchildren, instead of being in a wheelchair having someone by my side having to explain it all to me because I can't see. I owe this to myself, my husband and the children I chose to bring into the world.