Ok, another longish post from me - I seem to be excelling in them recently. Anyway..
I'm type 2 so not in the same situation regarding insulin, but have severe and at times life threatening asthma, which has landed me on life support in intensive care a few times. For reasons I won't go into, my relationship with all medics broke down - I didn't want to see them, didn't trust them and avoided them - I was bitter at the fact that my control over my body was being taken out of my hands. Basically, my psychological thinking was a bit flawed (still is actually, but not as badly) and I took it to the extreme, avoiding all check ups for asthma, diabetes and all the other stuff they seemed to come up with. I also felt they had let me down badly in the past but that's irrelevant.
I agreed to go on anti-depressant medication, although I hated every second of the consultation. I was told I needed to come in every month, to discuss how I was - and I was having none of that, talk about treating me like an incompetent fool! In my defence, if I had felt worse, I would have gone back, but I didn't feel worse, so I didn't go back. A year down the line, I got a call from the surgery telling me they were withholding my prescription. Not just for the anti-depressants, but my inhalers and medication for my nebuliser too, until I came in and saw them. I was outraged - my inhalers had ****** all to do with anti-depressants and I felt bitter that they would try and blackmail me like this.
My mind was so bitter towards them at this time, I told them to shove it and that I would buy my Ventolin online. My own GP tried to talk to me the next day and calm me down but I'd gone past the point of no return - and I bought my inhalers online.
This refusal to see any medical staff at all, and be non-compliant lasted for the next two years (during which I started to feel very unwell indeed) until the pain that I had been suffering forced me to register with a gp and be seen (I had moved house by then), I was fast tracked and diagnosed with an advanced rare cancer which had spread into surrounding lymph nodes.
And even with this, I STILL struggled to deal with medics, didn't want to deal with them - but had no choice. I mean really no choice, and believe me, I felt trapped, cornered, bitter but I would die in pain without treatment.
I can tolerate dealings with doctors now, I don't like it and avoid it if I can get away with it - but I do it. It's over in half an hour. I loathe scans etc and want to be anywhere but there, but I face it, and it's over. Your doctor (I believe) is within their rights to refuse you medication, even life saving medication, if you refuse to attend, but they would be answerable to a higher authority if they did. What they can do however, is to remove you from their books with a minimal supply of medication to cover you - and this is what may happen with you. I urge you, no matter what your feelings, to put it to one side for half an hour and go. You can make it clear that you don't want to be there and wish to attend as minimally as possible. If you're non-compliant, they probably don't want to see too much of you anyway! I'm not going to nag you, or give you a hard time, I would be a hypocrite. But this action will rebound on you, and you will be the one that suffers for it, they have hundreds, maybe thousands of patients and don't think about you until your name flashes up on their list. Go, get it over with, then it will be done - or switch surgeries. You can't buy insulin online and like it or not, you are reliant on them for medication to keep you alive. Face it, and it will be over soon. You have a family to think of too.
Best wishes.
