Doctors need a course in communication

Sure the guy you saw needs a bit of guidance but please don't lump all doctors under the same banner - I have met some great doctors with great communication skills.

But, more importantly, well done on your results.

Well done. Keep up the good work. It does sound like the consultant was a bit harsh on you!

Sometimes I think we take honesty as a negative when we should take it realistically. What is the important thing about how you felt after this consult was the fact that you chose not to get the chocs and booze afterwards, this shows that you do take your condition seriously and opted not to let a low mood affect your choices. For this alone you deserve praise. You are going in the right direction, keep telling yourself that because it will help to keep you steadfast in your endeavours. Good luck.

Hibby65 said:

Went for a diabetic clinic review at the hospital and always get tense at these things

Met with a consultant and was told that blood pressure was still on the high side / cholesterol on the high side and HBA1c was higher than he wanted, and that I was very overweight

Felt like a failure and really down - on the verge of just going straight to the shops getting a couple of bits of chocolate and some beers.

When asked how I felt I said gutted as I felt I had improved and made an effort in all the above areas.

Only to receive the reply - well - you have lost 1/2 stone in 6 months - your cholesterol is down and your blood pressure is down and your HBA1c is down from high 70's-low 80's to 71 so yes on the right track but could be better

I actually said - are you kidding me - why start off with such a negative conversation rather than point out the positive improvements I had made. His reply was that he didnt want to sugarcoat things and to spur me on to improve even more.

Lets just say we agreed to disagree on his bedside manner

Honestly in the past I wouldn't have heard the positive points I would have just spiralled into depression and let my diabetes control slip

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Congratulations on heading in the right direction.

Personally I like to be punched in the face like that because I'm a bit autistic and being given data is more inspirational to me than kind words, but I can see your point. I've certainly noticed plenty of people in the medical profession not exactly being considerate, but then they often seem jaded or rushed.

Either way I think the important thing is that you don't let it get you down, and most definitely do not take solace in chocolate and beer! And do this for yourself, not the approval of doctors.

Hibby65 said:

Went for a diabetic clinic review at the hospital and always get tense at these things

Met with a consultant and was told that blood pressure was still on the high side / cholesterol on the high side and HBA1c was higher than he wanted, and that I was very overweight

Felt like a failure and really down - on the verge of just going straight to the shops getting a couple of bits of chocolate and some beers.

When asked how I felt I said gutted as I felt I had improved and made an effort in all the above areas.

Only to receive the reply - well - you have lost 1/2 stone in 6 months - your cholesterol is down and your blood pressure is down and your HBA1c is down from high 70's-low 80's to 71 so yes on the right track but could be better

I actually said - are you kidding me - why start off with such a negative conversation rather than point out the positive improvements I had made. His reply was that he didnt want to sugarcoat things and to spur me on to improve even more.

Lets just say we agreed to disagree on his bedside manner

Honestly in the past I wouldn't have heard the positive points I would have just spiralled into depression and let my diabetes control slip

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When I was diagnosed I got the usual spiel from the diabetes nurse about progressive, chronic condition you'll end up on insulin blah blah blah. I used my anger at her incorrect statements to turn my health around having luckily already chanced upon the forum here and finding another load of oddballs who went against the "norm" just like I did. Decided to educate myself in this condition so now feel fairly comfortable arguing with GP/DN or whoever (including my drug company marketer cousin who has a degree in biochemistry) on the subjects of cholesterol and Type 2.

Well done

Wow - you are a type two and you actually saw a doctor about your diabetes? Actually in a hospital too.

I was diagnosed about a year ago and have not seen my doctor since - my annual thyroid test was cancelled, I am to have another bloodtest sometime next year.
I don't know which is worse really - being ignored or being spoken to like that by someone who should know better.

I totally agree. I always feel tense attending my consultancy appointments and I’m lucky if I get asked how I’m feeling. I often leave feeling demotivated, lost and upset.

This happens more than you think, i was under the care of the university of north Durham for about 27 years with my diabetes and i do not think of many times that the doctor has said something good or even asked if i had anything to say. It was just do this do that and come back in 3 month, near the end of my time there i had given up. I think i had more arguments with the doctors than anything else or and i did tell one of the doctor's that i was going to put him through the window if he kept pointing his finger in my face ( that is for another time and i'm not violent). In end i went no the internet and found a consultant at Newcastle who was also part of the transplant team and i knew i needed one soon, the first time i saw him it was for a hour and i walked out of that room with hope which is something i had not had for over 10 years. I went to see him the next 2 weeks and when i got back to see my parents they both started to cry i asked what was wrong. They said that i was smiling and they had not seen that in years and i thought they are right i am smiling i feel like this doctor will include me in any plan to go forward. This consultant is my hero he saved my life and got me to have a kidney and pancreas transplant in April 2015 even though the transplant went well the years of unseen diabetic problems came to light. This man popped into see me at 10 pm after a full days work and was on the transplant ward to plan some transplants he had to do but still took the time out to see how i was. I still see him once a year for a check up and to see if he has any new ideas to help me going forward, he told me that once people get their transplant he only see's them when their pancreas fails but i wanted to keep seeing him as i don't know how long the organs will last and want to see him if it comes to that,

I was told in September 2015 that I was type2 Diabetic by the Doctor & have only ever seen the Diabetic Nurse since

My doctor didn't even look up from his computer when first informing me that I am diabetic. No advice, no courses, no help. Just tablets.

The doctors are facing increasing production pressures themselves and many are burnt out/worn out. Take a look at this recent article in the Guardian:
https://www.theguardian.com/healthcare-network/2017/dec/14/faced-burnout-doctor-struggling-nhs-quit
@Hibby65 congrats on your success and for sticking with the programme. You are doing a great job!

tiredoftrying2017 said:

I totally agree. I always feel tense attending my consultancy appointments and I’m lucky if I get asked how I’m feeling. I often leave feeling demotivated, lost and upset.

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In a perfect world you shouldn't have to feel this way @tiredoftrying2017. In my book, anyone who is a member and contributor to this forum is clearly engaged in their health and actively pursuing the best health outcomes for themselves. Your team should only wish that all of their patients were as motivated.

Resurgam said:

my annual thyroid test was cancelled

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This bothers me @Resurgam. You should have this test if you need it! Have you escalated this within your practice? Your stats speak for themselves - you have saved your practice and the NHS buckets of money by you self-care efforts and achievements. Again, due to increasingly difficult production pressures on front line NHS staff there is increasing burnout at the coalface. However, production pressures notwithstanding, patients should never be penalised for taking their health into their own hands - and actually improving it no less!

There's a doctor near me who seems to make it his personal goal to make his patients cry. Even big tough guys walk out of his office upset. But there are also plenty of very good doctors - of course a few of them are a bit grumpy, but that doesn't mean they all are. When I first met my endo I found her to be intimidating, but later I realised I was just feeling confused and upset about my situation, and she is actually very supportive. Well done on your improvement. If you wanted, you might be able to get results online first so that you are less stressed about going to the doctor. This might help you emotionally since you can be prepared for the appointment and already know what you got.

we all in same place. sharing same feelings and like experiences. and as we share we can make things better

Well done @Hibby65. You have taken control of your condition and you are actively doing something about it. We all have bad days at the coal-face and it takes someone else pointing it out to make us rethink the effect our words and actions have on other people. Keep on doing what you are doing, possibly be a little more active so that you are losing more than a pound a month. Next time that you go be sure that he will not recognize you or your results!

Maybe next time ask for all the numbers first.

I’ve stopped going entirely. I seemed to spiral after the clinic. Everything I’ve learnt about my condition is from experience and the internet. I yo yo a little when I exercise but that’s my next project. I normally run between 4-10 and I test my bloods 4 to 5 times a day. I eat well, exercise and learn what works for me. Doctors see you for about 15-20 minutes and they’re not interested in what you’ve got to say. They don’t live your life or live with the condition.