Does it get better?

Hi there.

I was diagnosed t2 three years ago. I've been on quite a lot of meds since then that don't seem to be working. A severe trauma and depression saw me not attend clinics for about 18 months but I remained complient with diet and meds.

Since I've had therapy and got back to my diabetes appointments it transpires that my meds aren't working and it's highly likely I'm t.1.5. the hospital previously failed at testing for GAD or Cpeptide and I only leared about these recently. Both tests have now been done and I await the results before changing my treatment.

I've been off work for the past month because of this. Whilst in work I dreamt daily of being at home, writing my PhD and doing arts and crafts (anything but work right) - just like most people. Since I have been at home I have had no energy or motivation to do anything. It's driving me insane but I keep reminding myself - hey your body has no way of producing energy.

I can feel the depression sneaking back in as it's like my whole attitude to life has changed for the worst. I've always been ambitious and driven by achievement. Now I see myself stuck on the sofa for life, hiding away and doing very little. I feel lazy and hate myself for it. I struggle to even read a book for longer than 15 minutes. It's ridiculous.

Can anyone share any stories they have where they may have been in a similar situation but turned it around with insulin?

Will I have my lust for life back? Will I be able to do stuff again?

I have a good job that pays fairly well - but I feel like I'm on the brink of losing it if things don't change.

Thank you Diakat.

I'm currently keeping my levels low by eating pretty much no carbs - but this isn't sustainable or very much fun. So I'm not perfect at it.

I guess I do know all of the things you have said. I just needed to hear it from someone else. I can't wait to have energy. I mean I don't exactly plan to run a marathon - but a little umph when I wake up wouldn't go amiss.

Brunneria said:

@Kristin this sounds like your situation, before you were put on insulin.

Hi and welcome @Mynameiskez - have you found the LADA/1.5 section of the forum yet? Lots of advice, support and people with similar issues there.

I think that once you get the right medications, used in the right doses, you will get your life back.

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I have. It's where this post cam be found.

That's very reassuring. I hope so. I can't live like this!! I've been existed for a while now but kept on going. I though it was the depression. The trauma. But that is something I have fully resolved now.

Before I had diabetes I took on a part time phd and had all the energy and focus to to it. Now I'm not THAT far from completing I can't even look at it. and if I'm honest if it comes down to my job or the PhD I will chose the PhD. But even so - I've had a whole month off and not been able to work on my thesis at all. I feel total redundant and unable to provide any service to the world. Can't wait for it to be over.

Thanks so much for such an informative response. Encouraging too!

I'm a needlephobic too. Sick of hearing 'you'll be ok' 'you'll just do it' they have no idea. Worst is 'hey at last you can have cake' i couldn't care less about cake if I'm honest. I want my life back.

Having hypnosis for the needle fear. If that doesn't work I'm literally going to have to give up my job so I can move close to someone who will inject me daily. No lie my fear is that bad!

ickihun said:

Hi @Mynameiskez
Although I'm type2 I have been where you are. Going on insulin gave me my life back.
However I have noticed and relayed it back to dn that if I run my bgs too low I can get gloomy.
When I relax my strict regime I'm a lot more myself. Jolly and giggly, daft woman.
Although I lose weight with lower bgs my mental health doesn't like it.
I work for somewhere inbetween. To have body and mind happy!
@Kristin251 will be better at explaining your type of diabetes and its preferences.
I hope tweeks can make all the difference. Hoping to hear from a happier kez soon.

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chalup said:

An insulin pump could be the solution to the needle phobia but others would know a lot more about that. There will be a way for you.

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I'm inclined to think otherwise. It's not needle specifically - it's the thought of anything being under my skin. This contributes to compulsive skin picking. An insulin pump would make my worst fear a constant reality as I would have something permanently in there. I'm cringing at the thought.

chalup said:

An insulin pump could be the solution to the needle phobia but others would know a lot more about that. There will be a way for you.

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Yup just read up on how they are attached to you - a small needle and tube constantly jammed under your skin. I actually burst out in tears.

Diakat said:

@DaftThoughts might help too.

Anyway, glad to hear that you have found us and hope all improves for you soon.

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Thank you. Me too!!! xx

ickihun said:

Let us know how hypnotherapy comes along. It can be very successful.
Tv programme this week showed fear of fliers after hypnotism.
You can do this.
Well done for not closing your mind to an excellent solution.
I'm watching this space!

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I rwally appreciate the support. Thank you I will do. about to go to gp and see when I'll get the insulin too

Prem that's amazing. Thank you for the info.

I've just come back from the GP. In floods of tears right now. Test results not there - though glucose readings from the same day the samples were taken are. Funny as glucose readings weren't requested. I don't know.

My GP was surprised I'm not on insulin yet. She had requested that the hospital team see me a month ago. I've heard nothing from them at all. She has chased this and my results.

Signed off for another 4 months.

I'm thinking awful thoughts about things I can do to get myself hospitalised. Other LADA''s I've spoke to were hospitalised and had insulin within a week if not right away.

This has been going on months for me. 5 weeks since the diabetic consultant from the hospital and my GP agreed I needed insulin. And now all I can do is continue to wait. I'm so upset right now. I can't live like this.

Prem51 said:

@Mynameiskez On your other thread about your needle phobia @Scott-C mentioned a needle free insulin injector - www.insujet.com
There is a thread about it here: www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/threads/needle-free-injector.11670/#post-1392459 by @miszu .

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Prem51 said:

@Mynameiskez On your other thread about your needle phobia @Scott-C mentioned a needle free insulin injector - www.insujet.com
There is a thread about it here: www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/threads/needle-free-injector.11670/#post-1392459 by @miszu .

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Oddly the link goes to a thread by a lady asking for first time advice thinking she might have the big d.

Will check website though

I don't think it's a waiting list. That hospital are incompetent I'm every interaction I've had with them.

The GP did say she could prescribe it and said 'buuuut..' and shrugged her shoulders. No idea what that means. I guess it's 'we'd like to see the results to be certain'.

I get the impression that because of my phobia she'd rather they deal with that side of things. I don't know if I should cry, scream or bang my head off something. It's so infuriating. And this is the only hospital I can deal with apparently. Despite the city having about 5 of them. It is the closest I'll say that much. I might actually move house just to put me in range of a better hospital. How ridiculous I'd even have to think that.