DUK survey today about keeping diabetes a secret.

[marigold36]

Hi
I was just reading the DUK survey out today about keeping your diabetes a secret and wondered just how many of us have done that.

I have certainly done so in some respects. Whilst my immediate family know and my work colleagues, I have certainly not told my wider family. This is because of 1. its none of their business 2. I dont want any of their well meaning but mis informed advice and 3. They have given me a hard time in the past about being overweight and I know I will just get the same again but in an increased form.

There was a chance recently that an elderly relative (90) may have been diabetic and he was already being told what to eat and what not to eat by well meaning relatives who said things like no cake for you but here have this white toast and jam. Anyway turned out he is not but it gave me a glimpse of what I would be on the recieving end of if I told them all, and made me believe my decision not to tell was the right one for me.

The important people in my life know and the people I spend all day with (work) know so for now thats enough for me.

It just mde me think about whether I am the only one not to tell everyone.posting.php?mode=post&f=25#

 

[Ka-Mon]

I don't keep it a secret but I don't tell everyone I meet straight away either unless there is a need for it (ie: they offer me a piece of cake or something similar).

I've been very lucky that I have not met many "well meaning" relatives/friends, just two or three who said "one won't hurt" but they don't insist any more either, they know better now.

It's not something I am ashamed of and don't see why I should keep it a secret.

 

[Sarah69]

Only my immediate family and close friends know. I don't tell anybody. I don't put it on application forms for jobs I'd rather they dont know. I recently had a tattoo done and the was a question on the consent form I ticked no.

 

[Unbeliever]

I have just been reading the email about this from DUK. It would be almost funny if it wasn't so sad.
First of all they spend millions spreading the message that dibetes is self -inflicted and that all that is necessary is to lose weight and get off your backside and exercise a little and it can be reversed then they seem surprised that some people are reluctant to own to being diabetic.

Even the Lloyds pharmacy TV ad is reinfrrcing this stereotype,

Yes I know they are referring to T2s but the wider public don't understand the difference and many T2's don' fit the stereotype anyhow.

A friend of mine had breast cancer and told very few people because she was afraid hey would treat her differently. I remember thinking that she must be wrong but I am not so sure now.

When I tell people I am diabetic - they normally say "OH but you're not overweight" I welcome the opportunity to educate them a little.. I tell them that even when diabetics are overweight it is just as likely that the disease has caused tIhe weight gain and not vice versa. I can say from my own experience that some of he medication causes weight gain and that other T2s are never overweight. I can also explain he difference between T1s and T2s.

So far I have not had anyone backing away lest my diabees should prove contagious but can't say the same thing about my retinopathy. People seem horrified and tell me just to do what the doctors say and I will be fine. Because I am not wearing heavy spectacles they suspect I am exaggerrating and seem surprised when I have surgery .

I really don't undrestand why DUK are so surprised. Emotional support for those suffering diabetes?
In my opinion they have contributed to he wrongful perception of the disease.


I

 

[anniep]

I don't hide it and will say why when refusing cakes etc. But I often get the comment - just one won't hurt, or a little of what you fancy and so on. And so often I am told 'well my freind/relative/neighbour eats these, so they are ok'.

I find it easier now, as I have discovered that I am wheat intolerant and can now say I can't eat the wheat - which bizarely they accept without question..

Those around me, know that I keep tight control by not often eating sweets, chocolate, high carby things. But I was at a function yesterday, when a friend offering sugary goodies around offered them to me and realised what she had done, and said 'oh I'm sorry you can't eat these can you?'

A nearby aquaintance looked up and questioned it, so I just said 'i'm diabetic' her reply was 'OF COURSE YOU CAN' and 'I'm speaking as a dietician'. I tried to explain what they did to my bg levels and how it wasn't so easy to stop the spikes on metformin only, but she wouldn't listen and just insisted I could eat them. In an I'm a professional tone of voice.

Of course I know I can eat them occasionally, and the world won't end, but I also know that if I eat them too often - as often as I am offered them. Then my hba1c will be 7.4 again and not 6.00 which I work hard to maintain. It is easier to 'train' people not to give them to me.

I work hard and do have, at the moment stable BG, cholesterol etc but what sort of message is it giving to hear that sort of thing said with such great authority from a profesional?

 

[deadwood2]

Don't keep it a secret - well, you can't, can you? The NHS know. That's 1.6m people for a start.

Just don't tell anyone. Especially not employers. You might as well put your face on a wanted poster with a £25k reward. The small and really unprofessional ones will just remind you at top volume on the annual night out that you probably shouldn't have dessert, and the ultra-professional PLC's will render you ineffective because you'll be monitored to death and have to fill out an Elf n Safety questionnaire at the start of each shift.

And if you want peace at home, don't tell the wife. That way she won't have to break into a run when she passes the deli counter, leaving you lagging behind with a trolley full of salad and won't feel the need to ask whether you've got your medication with you everytime you leave the house or indeed just go to the loo. It will also prevent sympathetic denial ("I was going to get XYZ, but you're not allowed them, are you?"). To which the answer is almost always "Yes".

Finally, next time you collect your prescription, keep the pharmacy branded carrier bag and carboard boxes the tablets come in so that you can use them to smuggle home sugar-based snacks of preference without arousing suspicion.

 

[))Denise((]

As a T2 there is the perception of that you are fat and stupid, ate the wrong things and brought it on yourself. That's why I only tell the people who need to know.

Its loads easier to refuse cake at work now that I'm wheat intollerant, so I don't need to tell them about the diabetes.

 

[Patch]

Finally, next time you collect your prescription, keep the pharmacy branded carrier bag and carboard boxes the tablets come in so that you can use them to smuggle home sugar-based snacks of preference without arousing suspicion.

I bow to your genius.

 

[carty]

Hi annip I had a similar problem when pregnant with my third baby a very knowledgeable(probably trainee) midwife would insist on telling me what I should and should not do what and what not would happen during the birth :? .this was at the local pub by the way and every week until I eventualy asked how many children she had born making sure of course that all friends etc heard :lol: .Needless to say the subject was never mentioned again.So I suggest that any EXPERTS you come across are asked how long they have had diabetes and how they treat it. :lol:
CAROL

 

[marigold36]

I find the range of tell/dont tell very interesting, and obviously different people are happy sharing different levels of informationwith others.

 

[anna29]

Hi all. Great post from dave n so true! I find IF I tell anyone about myself being an diabetic [ n as yet out of control!!] despite my greatest efforts low carbs diet n shots... they gawp at me n say but you're so tiny ? then I do get the interrogation n probing into my personal life n what do I eat etc... As they cant grasp that "any size fits all" ie. a diabetic.... Its wrong n unfair n poor lack of common knowledge of the true n real facts of this disease. But to me even MORE damaging is any HCP professionals preaching their angles n jargon to us diabetics as THEIR knowledge is the best for our health. We live with this disease day n night 24.7 n most of us eventually work out what is right for us n make supreme efforts to keep things upright n stable [as much as we can!] We would never think to ever judge anyone else, so how n why do people think they can with us. Its so WRONG n I hate it then folk wonder why I give them short curt answers, which I do..... Anna.x :shock:

 

[tio]

my experience of being honest and declaring my condition has not been a good one, my employer was most defenately not a positive one, which eventually led to my unemployment, so in future my declaration of my condition will be closely guarded, which is a dilema for me i dont want to be or find it comfortable being dishonest but feel forced, Tio

 

[anna79]

the results of the recent survey doesn't surprise me at all, in fact I think I was one of the people to complete it online! I've had diabetes for a relatively long time now - over ten years - and absolutely hate injecting or testing in front of people, in public, or people I'm not close to and tend to wait for a moment when there's no one around, or even go to the toilets in restaurants to do it, if I can't do it discretely at a table. I know that logically that's totally ridiculous, which I tell myself all the time, but I can't seem to get past the self-conciousness of it all - it feels quite a personal and very vulnerable thing to do to me. I guess I'm just rather shy like that and have never really liked to be the centre of any attention or a fuss made of me.

Although all my family, my husband's family and all my friends know and I willingly 'shoot up' in their company without them batting an eye, I'm still reluctant to tell new people I meet and after six years of being at my workplace, still haven't really told many of my colleagues. It started with there not really being a 'right time' and then escalated from there. There are a couple of colleagues who I've chatted to about it very briefly, but as I don't inject or test in front of them, they don't really have a clue what it all means anyway and seem to just forget! The problem of course is that now it's been so long since I started working with them that the 'secret' has become bigger than the actual condition! And now it's a case of not being ashamed about the diabetes but of the fact that I've kept it to myself for so long like an idiot!!! I'd love them all to know and be able to text/inject more openly, especially because I'm now thinking about starting a family and would obviously need to be more open for safety reasons, but now don't have a clue how to 'come out' as it were without the sheer embarrassment of my 'secret'-keeping! What a wally I am!

Any advice about how to do it/explain to them after so long? Ideas would be greatly appreciated!
(P.s. anyone else on the forum feel the same/ have similar experience?!)

So in short, get it over with and tell everyone straight away!!!!