FED UP

[toner29]

Sorry to be negative but I am utterly fed up.

I'm fed up of finger pricks, blood tests and cannula changes.

I'm fed up of carb counting, guilt around eating and facing the inevitable consequences of over indulging.

Im fed up of answering 'whats that?' when people see my pump or my meter. And dreading my next doctors appointment where I will be told something I am doing isn't good enough.

I'm fed up of hypos and hypers, and not getting the balance right. Of never knowing if I'm going to have to leave a meeting or appointment because I've forgotten my hypo treatment. And the voice in the back of my head saying 'are you having a hypo'.

I'm fed up of listening to other people's problems and shamefully thinking 'thats nothing' whilst pretending to be understanding.

I understand people live with far worse conditions. I know I am lucky to only have type 1 diabetes, and be fortunate enough to have the NHS for support. But today I am fed up!

Again I apologise for the negative post, but I don't want to bring my loved ones down by moaning to them. So unfortunately it's you lot.

 

[Mark.pullen]

I have days like that. More often than not just lately, since I've been put on metformin as well my hypos are becoming more frequent and longer lasting. When I treat them I then end up sky high I've tried everything I can think of to try and combat them but to no avail. So tone29 I can sympathise with you on the feeling of being fed up, of being unable to get my head round this debilitating illness we all have to live with. But then I think of all the people I love and I think to myself thank you for being there to talk too thank you for not judging me for ranting. We have to live with what we have and make the most of a bad thing, but at least we are alive and able to do most things that other people do. There are those out there that are far worse off than you and I living with the knowledge that that are dying from a far worse disease than we have. So chin up mate and fight on.

 

[evj95]

I understand you @toner29, I had one of those days yesterday myself, being hyper at work with a killer headache that comes with it so brain didn't fire on all cylinders then ended up hypo after work!
It's hard to keep positive when just living is a grind all day every day, but just think if your struggling today, tomorrow is a new day and that can sometimes make all the difference.

A tip if you don't already do this. whilst out and about have a bag - most people will be understanding about this even with bag restrictions in some places, just tell them that you need it for medication. - and have a good haul of hypo supplies. Even just the small bags of Haribo will work for a hypo and don't take much room up at all.

Keep your chin up!

 

[Geordie_P]

Nothing to apologise for: I think a lot of people on these forums will get where you're coming from, and you picked the right place to unload! I'm not type 1 so there's probably a lot of details I don't know, but I can tell you that you've got my support and admiration- it looks like you've been doing your best for a long time. Hope that counts for something

 

[mytype1.life]

Hi @toner29,

No need to apologise at all. Don't be hard on yourself for feeling this way - we've all been there to one extent or another.

Like @mike.pullen I've had more days like that than not recently and it's so so draining! Even a "good day" is hard work. I know people suffer more with worse conditions or complications but if I'm totally honest comparing the relative doesn't help - focus on yourself and your own feelings. If you feel fed up than you are perfectly justified to feel that way and very few people will understand, especially colleagues (I find).

I read this recently which you may be able to relate to - https://beyondtype1.org/dont-wanna-anymore/

Try to do a bit of something you enjoy to help recharge. Do you have any particular things you can do to lift your spirits?

 

[ickihun]

Sorry to be negative but I am utterly fed up.

I'm fed up of finger pricks, blood tests and cannula changes.

I'm fed up of carb counting, guilt around eating and facing the inevitable consequences of over indulging.

Im fed up of answering 'whats that?' when people see my pump or my meter. And dreading my next doctors appointment where I will be told something I am doing isn't good enough.

I'm fed up of hypos and hypers, and not getting the balance right. Of never knowing if I'm going to have to leave a meeting or appointment because I've forgotten my hypo treatment. And the voice in the back of my head saying 'are you having a hypo'.

I'm fed up of listening to other people's problems and shamefully thinking 'thats nothing' whilst pretending to be understanding.

I understand people live with far worse conditions. I know I am lucky to only have type 1 diabetes, and be fortunate enough to have the NHS for support. But today I am fed up!

Again I apologise for the negative post, but I don't want to bring my loved ones down by moaning to them. So unfortunately it's you lot.

How are you feeling now?

 

[Celsus]

@toner29, just gave you the winner medal for your great post !
We have well educated endos, well meaning nurses, your own near family members, colleagues, etc etc.
Nobody knows how it is for you to have diabetes type 1. Only you yourself knows that !
Just reading your post makes me smile and sign up to be part of your army to fight the ignorance and dogmas we are constantly surrounded by.

Keep your posts coming, we are here for you, on good days as well as bad days!

 

[Celsus]

Topic just reminded me of this little fellow who I think we all can relate to:

 

[wiflib]

Sorry to be negative but I am utterly fed up.

I'm fed up of finger pricks, blood tests and cannula changes.

I'm fed up of carb counting, guilt around eating and facing the inevitable consequences of over indulging.

Im fed up of answering 'whats that?' when people see my pump or my meter. And dreading my next doctors appointment where I will be told something I am doing isn't good enough.

I'm fed up of hypos and hypers, and not getting the balance right. Of never knowing if I'm going to have to leave a meeting or appointment because I've forgotten my hypo treatment. And the voice in the back of my head saying 'are you having a hypo'.

I'm fed up of listening to other people's problems and shamefully thinking 'thats nothing' whilst pretending to be understanding.

I understand people live with far worse conditions. I know I am lucky to only have type 1 diabetes, and be fortunate enough to have the NHS for support. But today I am fed up!

Again I apologise for the negative post, but I don't want to bring my loved ones down by moaning to them. So unfortunately it's you lot.

No apology needed. I hear you and it's sh*t, isn't it.

 

[JohnEGreen]

Any one who says only T1 diabetes does not know the first thing about it.

Diabetes is a B****rd and any one who has coped with it for years has my admiration.

 

[Crystalwand]

We all know were you are coming from, just been put on a pump, went out on Saturday with our bike chapter, told a few people, as I having been out for a while, now they they say oh that's great you can out more for long weekends, they still don't get it, all because I am on a pump in they eyes I am all better now, only if, still counting carbs to the last gram, testing BG still the same, highs, lows, better, and ask why I am I eating jelly baby's, I just said I like them, really so keep going, start again and smile

 

[Anni86]

Toner 29,
I wanted to add my post of support. Past few months, I have been feeling the same. I was diagnosed as type 2 just before I fell pregnant, and now, I find myself struggling to keep my bg in check. I monitor my levels 1 and 2 hrs after meals, im fed up with questioning everything I eat, being hungry when I cant consume enough, having insulin shots one after another everyday, having family and friends not understanding.... Ahhh.
What keeps me on track is knowing Im not alone, and its great to have forums such as this to voice our thoughts and concern. I hope you stay strong. I remind myself how fortunate we are to have good medical care; people who can help us to enjoy and make the most of life. Lets soldier on and not let this disease take us over.

 

[Kristin251]

I think we can all agree the day to day is exhausting. And then there are the days I just want to crawl into a hole. Then I want to go to bed early to just make the day over. But wait!!! I have to set the alarm for lantus!!! Ridiculous. I feel your pain.

Obviously I'm having one of those days. Rant away. My hubby tries the best he can to understand but he can't. HERE is the best place to rant.

 

[phdiabetic]

Don't be sorry, we love a good grumble around here! You're not alone, we're all trying our best and diabetes just doesn't want to cooperate. I can't do basic things like shower and clean my teeth and walk to class because my blood sugar always goes low, no matter how long I've turned off my pump, have no IOB, eat some lollies to prevent it. It ALWAYS happens and I just wish I could go to bed without spending 2 hours trying not to die. I wish I could have a shower whenever I wanted, I wish I could play the piano (yes that makes me low too), I wish I could go for a walk around the neighbourhood. I honestly wouldn't mind doing just the fingerpricks and shots but it's the fact that every single second of the day I am actively trying to avoid some horrible death that just gets really tiresome. Just this morning my pump went wrong (idk what, blood in the cannula I think), have to fix that. Getting low, have to fix that. Have to go to class this afternoon so I can't eat for 2 hours beforehand to avoid the IOB, hungry and miserable, got low anyway, fix that, I just want it to stop for a bit. Even if I take my pump off I'm not safe since I'm in my honeymoon and my pancreas sometimes gets confused and overproduces.


I totally get what you're saying about other people's problems, I feel like I have no empathy anymore because no matter how bad your relationship, or job, or whatever it is, is going, at least you don't have to spend every second of your life borderline dead because giving 100% isn't good enough for diabetes. This forum is a great place to do some complaining - there's nothing like sharing a problem with people who understand what it's like! Hope you're feeling better soon, and keep on fighting!