1. Get the Diabetes Forum App for your phone - available on iOS and Android.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Guest, we'd love to know what you think about the forum! Take the Diabetes Forum Survey 2021 »
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Diabetes Forum should not be used in an emergency and does not replace your healthcare professional relationship. Posts can be seen by the public.
    Dismiss Notice
  4. Guest, stay home, stay safe, save the NHS. Stay up to date with information about keeping yourself and people around you safe here and GOV.UK: Coronavirus (COVID-19). Think you have symptoms? NHS 111 service is available here.
    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice
Find support, ask questions and share your experiences. Join the community »

Fed up

Discussion in 'Diabetes Discussions' started by conniecar, Sep 16, 2021.

  1. conniecar

    conniecar Type 1 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    259
    Likes Received:
    238
    Trophy Points:
    103
    I’d love to say ‘asking for a friend’ though
    I can’t and to be honest I wouldn’t wish it on them. Been type 1 for 46 years plus epileptic . Was diagnosed with coeliac disease 2.5 years ago which has been a stress. I’ve mild neuropathy in my feet and have Dupytrens Contracture in my hands and feet. Yesterday I was told I also have Peripheral Arterial Disease. The consultant said it was down to smoking and blood pressure. I’ve never smoked or had high blood pressure…. Then he said ‘unless you’re diabetic?’ He then went on with a terrible prediction of my future that just involves statins and a blood thinner, but nothing to alleviate the pain I feel in my feet after walking or standing for 5 minutes only. I work in a school and am on my feet all day and am trying to cover it all up. I’ve just ordered Alpha Lipoic Acid in a hope it’ll help. I’ve had Gabapentin before when they thought I had neuropathy, but it was chronically low vitamin D due to undiagnosed coeliac disease and epilepsy medication. I’m lucky in so many ways with a lovely family and friends, but feel like a burden. I’ve just rung the diabetes nurse as I’ve not seen him or the consultant since I was diagnosed with coeliac disease 2.5 years ago. I’m down to see the nurse on 12 October now….
    Anyway, I’m preaching to the converted but I’m in a mess with such a jumbled up brain. I woke up today and couldn’t cope or stop crying . My husband rang work and said I wasn’t able to come in. They want to know why, I’m reluctant to say as my last employer said I wasn’t employable due to so many appointments. I’m 52 and can’t walk or feel like I can be spontaneous or fit in. Everything from coeliac disease needs to not being able to walk singles me out and I’m just fed up of it all. I said a terrible thing today I said I wished I had cancer then at least everyone would understand and everything wouldn’t be so hidden. My mum in law died of cancer, Alzheimer’s and Covid in May. I feel absolutely rotten
     
    • Hug Hug x 16
    • Like Like x 1
  2. 1970clea

    1970clea Type 2 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    372
    Likes Received:
    1,221
    Trophy Points:
    178
    No wonder you feel rotten - it's too much to deal with. Do you have an understanding colleague to talk to anywhere in the school? Perhaps the medical officer might understand? I make quite a fuss about my needs these days (51 years old) as otherwise the assumption is always that I don't have a problem with it all. I also work in a school - fast paced environment and not an easy place to be when life is getting on top of you. Take care.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  3. conniecar

    conniecar Type 1 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    259
    Likes Received:
    238
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Thank you so much. No it’s a toxic place for people with chronic conditions sadly. My friend has just left as she’s also type 1 but partially sighted, and no adjustments were made so she was forced out, and doesn’t have the energy to go through a grievance policy. I feel like I have too many ‘things’ that are all related but people are beginning to become skeptics? I was in the office one day and my line manager answered a call from a colleague who was off when her rheumatoid arthritis had flared up. She put the ‘phone down and said ‘Effin waste of space. I’ve got an arthritic knee and I’m never off?’ There’s no confidentiality and no HR now. Just the line manager who’s a gossip. I need people to know I can’t stand for 6 hours without a break some days, but I also don’t want to raise my head above the parapet and be singled out. Hard isn’t it? I work with some lovely kids in a much worse situation than me, it’s just at the moment I feel like I’m in a fog x
     
    • Hug Hug x 3
  4. conniecar

    conniecar Type 1 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    259
    Likes Received:
    238
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Just looked at your profile. I taught art and photography in Hampshire. In West Yorkshire now x
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  5. PenguinMum

    PenguinMum Type 2 · Expert

    Messages:
    5,641
    Likes Received:
    16,352
    Trophy Points:
    198
    Connie I am no expert on this but there are laws about disability and discrimination in the work place. I am horrified by that person’s comment about a sick colleague. I hope someone who has some knowledge or experience about this can come along and advise you. It is good you want to find a way to continue your job with just some tools to help. If a student presented with these conditions how would they be treated!
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  6. conniecar

    conniecar Type 1 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    259
    Likes Received:
    238
    Trophy Points:
    103
    That’s not great either. I have great colleagues and the department is good, it’s just the line manager who no one can tolerate any more. I don’t know who to tell really without it kicking up a fuss. We are all in a similar situation for different reasons so although mine is health related there’s not one member of staff she’s not undermined or bullied. I guess I’m feeling vulnerable. In my last job they counted hospital appointments as sickness so I was hauled in for that. The deputy head said ‘oh you’re epileptic too, do you have the big funny do’s? How come you can be diabetic as well?’ He then insisted they had glucose tablets for me just in case I fell down. I’ve never had a hypo that needed someone else’s attention from the age of 7. I asked the HR lady for the minutes of the meeting but she said that wasn’t their protocol.
     
  7. Dandelade

    Dandelade · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    162
    Likes Received:
    82
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Conniecar it sounds like you’re juggling a massive amount. You absolutely need the support of your school.

    I also work in a school and know how hectic it is. There are things they can do and reasonable adjustments that can be made. If you feel like you can’t speak to a senior member of staff about your needs and valid concerns about your line manager please speak to your union who will be happy to support you, either through advice on how to go about requesting reasonable adjustments, or in speaking on your behalf.

    I hope you get the support you need and find your way through this. You’re not alone!
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  8. SuNuman

    SuNuman Type 2 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    477
    Likes Received:
    243
    Trophy Points:
    63
     
  9. SuNuman

    SuNuman Type 2 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    477
    Likes Received:
    243
    Trophy Points:
    63
    You are allowed to feel like this believe me. I think exercise is what they recommend for PAD but I’m sure it’s the last thing you want to do now. I think the idea is to walk until you hurt and can no longer walk but I’m thinking - how do you get home then? Lol. Maybe someone follows in a car lol. Just try your best. Maybe google how to cope with PAD. I send you lots of love and you sound a lovely lady. Take some time off work saying it’s blood sugar issues. Take care. X.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  10. conniecar

    conniecar Type 1 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    259
    Likes Received:
    238
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Thank you all so much. My poor husband has sat with me snottering all day and even he can’t possibly get it like you all do. These groups are so much better than a 15 minute GP appointment.
     
    • Like Like x 3
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
    • Hug Hug x 1
  11. AndBreathe

    AndBreathe I reversed my Type 2 · Expert
    Retired Moderator

    Messages:
    9,806
    Likes Received:
    15,822
    Trophy Points:
    178
    Passing over minutes of a meeting may not be their protocol, but it is your right. If they will not do so with good grace, then raise a Data Subject Request. On that basis, they must release the information within one month of receiving the request. The Information Commissioners' Office website outlines it all: https://ico.org.uk/for-organisation...ation-gdpr/individual-rights/right-of-access/

    There are very few exceptions allowing refusal of a subject access request.

    In the meantime, Connie, look after yourself.
     
    • Informative Informative x 1
  12. conniecar

    conniecar Type 1 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    259
    Likes Received:
    238
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Thank you so much. I’m not there now and involved the Union, but I can see it happening again so thank you for that information .
     
  13. 1970clea

    1970clea Type 2 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    372
    Likes Received:
    1,221
    Trophy Points:
    178
    Check your safeguarding policies you may be able to go to the Head about your line manager. Or whoever has that wellbeing hat on. I wish you luck and fortitude for the coming weeks :)
     
  14. conniecar

    conniecar Type 1 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    259
    Likes Received:
    238
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Well I went to my well-being person today. After a bit of blubbing she arranged to speak to my line manager. I’ve had a very nice e Mail telling me she’s sorry snd I can have admin time, 1:1 sit down time with the kids and regular breaks to check my blood sugars. She’s read a handbook or been bollocked…. I’m a bit nervous of seeing her on Monday but I’m worth it aren’t i!?
     
    • Like Like x 3
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
  15. Dandelade

    Dandelade · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    162
    Likes Received:
    82
    Trophy Points:
    28
    That’s a great outcome I’m so pleased for you. And yes you’re worth it!
     
    • Agree Agree x 4
    • Like Like x 1
  16. 1970clea

    1970clea Type 2 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    372
    Likes Received:
    1,221
    Trophy Points:
    178
    Well done you - the absolutely right outcome :)
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  17. welovedzig

    welovedzig Prediabetes · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    191
    Likes Received:
    101
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Good luck for tomorrow, sounds horrendous at your workplace :-(
     
  18. conniecar

    conniecar Type 1 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    259
    Likes Received:
    238
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Well it was fine and she’s not divulged to the other staff as to why I’m not doing p.e with the kids. Problem is she’s not told the woman who does the timetable who has a right go at me yesterday The breaks, admin time and opportunities to sit down haven’t emerged as yet…. Like I may have said, I don’t want to be different and have always handled my various things independently, but I’ve had to ‘fess up. Now as you’ll all know I’m in a mire of ignorance
     
    • Hug Hug x 3
  • Meet the Community

    Find support, connect with others, ask questions and share your experiences with people with diabetes, their carers and family.

    Did you know: 7 out of 10 people improve their understanding of diabetes within 6 months of being a Diabetes Forum member. Get the Diabetes Forum App and stay connected on iOS and Android

    Grab the app!
  • Tweet with us

  • Like us on Facebook