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Feeling alone

Discussion in 'Ask A Question' started by Wayne18000, May 4, 2019.

  1. Wayne18000

    Wayne18000 · Well-Known Member

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    Hi, I'm type 2 insulin dependent, have been trying to do low carb as trying to get off insulin and suffer anxiety thinking I'm going to have a hypo. (Which I dont cos test over 10 times a day) Thing is I'm married but wife shows zero interest in my diabetes, so am finding it hard with no one to talk about it with. Anyone in the same boat? If so does it make you more determined to get good control? Would it make you more determined to have good control?
     
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  2. Arab Horse

    Arab Horse Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Yes, my husband is totally uninterested and eats all the things I shouldn't in front of me and leaves chocolate on the coffee table .

    Since my diagnosis we shop, cook and eat separately. He does sometimes cook for me, before that he was the main cook as he won't do things around the house or any maintenance, gardening, etc. everything is my job and what I can't do doesn't get done. I do sometimes have a binge and eat a losd of chocolate etc. but I try not to as I don't want the dab side affects!

    Maybe we can encourage each other to stick to the diet!
     
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  3. xfieldok

    xfieldok Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    This forum is the best company that you can have. There is nearly always someone around when you feel the need to chat. You will get a ton of support for any aspect of diabetes. Whether it's to do with losing weight, diet, insulin, or just to have a good old moan.
     
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  4. Diakat

    Diakat Type 1 · Expert
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    What insulin are you using? Is it mixed or basal/ bolus? Understanding that may help us reduce the hypo worry.
     
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  5. Noemergencyexit

    Noemergencyexit · Member

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    Hi im new here to this group thing im type 1 and I also have a chest condition called Cystic Fibrosis I've been type one for 26 years odd and well the lady I'm with she understands that diabetes is a pain in the you know what. If you wife isn't interested in helping with your diabetes maybe you could try talk to her maybe she dont understand it and is scared or something to be honest with you talking to others about it might help but end of the day you should try and find out why your wife isn't interested in your health sorry if this doesn't help you

     
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  6. MeiChanski

    MeiChanski Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Hello!
    I'm sorry to hear :( I was wondering if you've expressed your concerns with your diabetes team, maybe help you identity patterns and reduce the worry of hypos. My ex wasn't interested in my diabetes either, he just kept assuming I was taking too much insulin when I hypo'ed, which wasn't the case. However, my bf now, I drag him to hospital appointments to include him in what I have to go through, so he understands the complications, other factors that affect control and how to carb count. Now he is my human calculator. :hilarious: So I was wondering if your wife isn't interested, maybe get her involved in something? maybe she is scared or worried like you, but doesn't like to express it? but hopefully it'll develop to some kind of understanding. If not, you have us, #squadgoals. :hilarious:
     
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  7. JAT1

    JAT1 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    One of the main reasons I keep coming back here is to read all the people on this forum talking about diabetes and being able to say as much as I want. Out in my world, I am the only type 1 I know. If I say something relating in any way to diabetes, I face that glazed-over facial expression of complete boredom and hear them (telepathically probably:singing:) saying "Not again." There are a couple type 2s at work totally convinced by their doctors that it's a progressive disease.
     
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  8. Dexterdobe

    Dexterdobe Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    My wife is an ex-nurse and I get zero help or support from her. I have settled into a pattern of low carb eating that works for me and my BG is now in the normal range. Like you, I often feel a bit isolated. It really annoys me when my wife and children tell me I'm overdoing it, that T2's don't prick their fingers or eat silly diets. I just smile and get on with it. The reward comes when medical professionals who don't support LCHF diets are amazed that my BG and cholesterol are both in the normal range. Take solace in the fact that you are going to beat your condition and smile at people who don't understand. This site is populated with people who are trying to do what you are trying to do, so become part of the diabetics.co.uk community. We are all with you.
     
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  9. red1mot

    red1mot Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Partners often don’t appreciate things I just say I might as well take poison if I eat surgarer things and carbs
     
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  10. Ryhia

    Ryhia Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Like you, I am not getting much support from my OH. I think my husband is just not able to support as he doesn't understand what's going on with me and is also worried. I was diagnosed in Feb with T2, and have since switched to a low carb eating plan, but my husband wont even try the meals I am making as he says he has gone off vegetables; I end up having to make different meals for us both or I leave him to make his meal himself. He now seems to be asking for chips with everything (when we didn't eat chips much before) or sandwiches or some other high carb food that he knows I cannot eat - its like he is rebelling on my behalf - its very frustrating. He is pleased I am getting my blood sugar levels down but that's about all.

    You ask if this lack of support makes me more determined. The answer is, yes. If there is a way to gain control of my bloods I am up for it and I am not going to be put off by anyone. Most of the medical people I have encountered (other than my doc) have offered little or no support either, the dietician at my initial screening was a script kiddie, when I diversified from the script she was lost. I am sure she had much more success with the poor, bemused lady who went in after me.

    Can I encourage you to continue your low carb journey. At the end of the day, this is your experience and something you want to try and if you are able to gain better control of your bloods I am sure your wife will be happy for you. You will also have all the support you need from this website. If you feel discouraged just read some of the success stories where people have managed to reduce their meds or even put their diabetes into remission.

    What are you most concerned with regarding your low carb diet?

    .
     
  11. SaskiaKC

    SaskiaKC Type 2 · Expert

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    My cat sometimes watches me get out the meter and lancet and stick my finger, but the only opinion she ever expresses is that it's taking too long and I should have fed her first (I do on the mornings she asks).

    It's sad how the term "partner" as applied to some spouses is so much less appropriate than it is when applied to, say, police or cowboys. A partner is supposed to be your buddy, your mate, the person who has your back.

    Hang in there, DHs and DWs.
     
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  12. kitedoc

    kitedoc Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Hi @Wayne18000,
    As you see on this forum you are not alone!
    I think that whether Type 1 or Type 2 on insulin on or going low carb, we are in simialr boats.
    We do have however have scientific literature, proven programs and results which back low carb as well as reports that demolish the fake reports and bad science that attemots to discredit the low carb approach.
    Other diets do not have the same strength of backing these days, even though low carb is regarded by some as 'new' and thus untried. The above reprts belie this
    If you ever need to put forward argument for low carb you have Dr Bernstein's Diabetes Solution book or e-book and the writings of Zoe Harcombe, ZH subscription to zoeharcombe.com). If a health professional declines/ refuses to read these at your asking, then you have met the biased person who lacks that vital quality of open- mindedness, the closed umbrellas as i call them!
    Close-mindedness in a HCP is dangerous and untrustworthy in my book.
    With partners, ( including cats )! the consequences of disregard, lack if support are nit only emotionally devastating at times, butrisk increasing the household budget for food.
    I have been subject to the haranging of '"This is the umpteenth diet you are trying in x years" type rant. And as you have read it dies not seem to always matter whether one's partner is health- trained or not.
    The best i have found i can do is keep the diet as uncomplicared as possible - as ZH says, freash, wholesome food, eggs, bacon, cheese, veggies etc. And with friends, eating out, sometimes the "half-truth" that i am intolerant of a a certain level of sugar, or of milk etc. My individual health demands my best attention and my diet is like the one that many folloewd before the Westernised diet intruded, the diet not too disimilar from the indigenous peopes if the world ( only urbanised due to living in a city/ country which has less access to some foods).
    The concern about hypos when lowering carb untake is i think shared by many -.at least that is what i pick up from various fourums and websites.
    As @Diakat says, knowing what your insulin type, doses and timing is, can help to find knowledge - such knowledge can help with predicting when hypos are most likely to occurr and with specific use of carb counting ( as per Dr Bernstein, i found that i could more confidently reduce insulin doses as i lowered carbs ( sounds like a ship off- losding stores)!!
    The saying the ends justify the means: showing one's partner, one's health team and the world ( but only if you wish) that things have improved is thevreward.
    If i am healthier, that is less burden ultimately on one's partner ( and one's cat receives longer years of food supply despite such perfidy on its part), less burden on the health system, ultimately a happier health team ( and a mote in the eyes of the HCP disbelievers)
    Now also a dose of reality: we do not always achieve success quickly, there maybe setbacks, stalls, reversals if sirts aling the way. That is what support from places like this and from some hopefully on-side HCPs is about.
    You may end up iff insulin, but for other unknowable reasins you coikd end up on a lower dise but not completely free if insulin, or on some other medication. Sometimes one needs a test to see if one's body is still able to produce insulin at all ( see Home page and 'C peptide').
    Best Wishes:):):)
     
  13. Steveg1

    Steveg1 Prediabetes · Active Member

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    Hi Wayne I try low carb but still cheat now and again keeps me sane my friend is the same but he is taking cbd oil under is tongue twice a day he says it keeps him low but helps with the anxiety if helps
     
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  14. Jim Lahey

    Jim Lahey I reversed my Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Hi Wayne. Sorry to hear that your wife appears to show no interest in your diabetes. I guess, for now, you’re just going to have to bend our ears whenever you fancy a chat :D
     
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  15. Wayne18000

    Wayne18000 · Well-Known Member

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    Seems like we're in the same boat. Yes I like the idea of encouraging each other, sounds like a win, win for us!
     
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  16. Arab Horse

    Arab Horse Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    My husband never asks how I got on when I have been for my 6 monthly check; the only thing he ever asks is when I have my eye screening as, living out in the sticks, I have to get him to pick me up (I go in on the bus) so I suppose he feels he ought to!!!
    I do get discouraged as my glucose is always high in the morning even if I have only had breakfast and nothing else all day except black coffee or water. I have vegetables and 2 eggs (with bacon most days) so almost no carbs.
     
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