1. Get the Diabetes Forum App for your phone - available on iOS and Android.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Guest, we'd love to know what you think about the forum! Take the Diabetes Forum Survey 2021 »
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Diabetes Forum should not be used in an emergency and does not replace your healthcare professional relationship. Posts can be seen by the public.
    Dismiss Notice
  4. Guest, stay home, stay safe, save the NHS. Stay up to date with information about keeping yourself and people around you safe here and GOV.UK: Coronavirus (COVID-19). Think you have symptoms? NHS 111 service is available here.
    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice
Find support, ask questions and share your experiences. Join the community »

Feeling ashamed

Discussion in 'Ask A Question' started by Lily 2, May 20, 2018.

  1. kitedoc

    kitedoc Type 1 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    4,788
    Likes Received:
    3,337
    Trophy Points:
    198
    51 years on insulin. Perhaps a way to look at this is that you have been hit by genetic lightning. It was very very likely to happen at some stage whatever you may or may not have done. And if your Dad has, over time, found some type of peace, so can you. And having worked and achieved the weight loss you have is a BIG, BIG plus in your favour !
    You may have been half expecting that, given your family history that you might develop diabetes and, of course, no one can be fully prepared when it does happen.
    Just to let you know that depression can happen with diabetes and talking to your DSN and doctor is important. And that sometimes sleep apnoea may be another lurgy that occurs with diabetes and needs checking out in some people. A friend of mine with T2D felt so much better mood-wise, in his case, when his sleep apnoea was diagnosed and under treatment.
    I know that it is another slight worry but better to know and have that sorted either way.
    You have gained the ability to lose weight and to take responsibility for your diabetes, no-one can take that away from you,
    Wear that badge with pride
     
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  2. maisiepug

    maisiepug Type 2 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    77
    Likes Received:
    668
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Hi Lily, I am older than you but still feel the shame and for me I don't think it will ever go away but I have very low esteem anyway due to traumas from family when I was very young. We can perhaps work together and over come this.
    Also on a lighter note, are they your pugs in your picture? I have 2 and couldn't think of life without them.
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
  3. Lily 2

    Lily 2 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    57
    Likes Received:
    45
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Thank you everyone for the positive support, I see my nurse soon and I will be bringing this up with her, I think looking for information about diabetes on google makes me worse, I thought being informed would be helpful to me but seeing websites that state in studies most type 2 diabetics diagnosed between 18-30 were not here at 50 just terrifies me so much, I can’t believe how I went from being so happy to scared and ashamed. Maisiepug I to have low self esteem and think this has made this diagnosis a lot more difficult to deal with, i guess I see it as I’m going to die young because I’m diabetic and my kids won’t have there mum anymore and it’s all my fault. It’s a horrible mind set, also yes they are my two pugs they are my babies, I don’t know what I would do without mine they are always there to give me a cuddle and cheer me up. Thank you kitedoc I didn’t know depression is a thing with diabetes, also the sleep apnea. I will mention these to my nurse, I think I definitely need some kind of help with my mental health.
     
    • Hug Hug x 4
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
  4. Jenny15

    Jenny15 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    770
    Likes Received:
    339
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Hi Lily, you sound exactly like me when I was diagnosed with T2, 9 years ago at the age of 40. I was the youngest in my family to get T2 (about half the extended family have it, plus several T1s).

    As a child and teen, family were always telling me to lose weight or I'd get diabetes. So I put my head in the sand and carried on overeating and yo-yo dieting. I tried every diet there is, and only gained weight after each diet.

    I now know my T2 genes led to overeating, weight gain, insulin resistance, and T2.

    I also have sleep apnoea, hypertension and depression (the depression is OK at the moment though). I have learned that these three conditions very often go with T2, even after weight loss. BUT...

    And it is an important but for you Lily... you CAN get physically and emotionally healthy... and you have made terrific progress. Better than I did!

    As someone who has to some degree been through what you're going through, can I share what worked for me?

    I got the right medical treatment I could for all the things I have, which for me included antidepressants (but that might not be right for you, it's something to consider and chat with your GP about some time), and I decided to value and respect myself.

    It took me until my 40s to realize and accept that I have a right to live a good life and to be treated with basic respect by others. Whether that is a boss, a doctor, family, a friend or a stranger in a shop. If am being disrespected I don't have to just take it and not rock the boat.

    I can choose to ignore & note it, or be assertive (polite but firm), or leave, or take the steps I need in order to leave when I can. We usually have more than two choices.

    If I had left certain situations (such as relationships, jobs) earlier, I might have avoided chronic stress and the damage that can do to one's physical health. It took me years to stop beating myself up for that. I now accept that I did my best with what I knew at the time. And I learned lessons I can use to avoid the same problems again.

    My Mum, bless her, didn't know what we know today about raising kids to be emotionally healthy and have good self esteem. She raised us how her parents had raised her. They raised her how their parents had, and so on...

    Our generation has a chance to break the cycle. We now know the basics of how to raise emotionally healthy kids. Love, warmth, praise, boundaries, and consistency. I can't go back and change what was, but I can treat myself with those principles. It works much better than scolding myself 24/7!

    I could write all day about this so I better finish for now. In case you haven't seen it, here is some info that helped me understand the real reason I got T2, and it wasn't from overeating and being obese. It was genetic bad luck. Hope it helps.
    http://www.phlaunt.com/diabetes/47101698.php
     
    • Winner Winner x 1
  • Meet the Community

    Find support, connect with others, ask questions and share your experiences with people with diabetes, their carers and family.

    Did you know: 7 out of 10 people improve their understanding of diabetes within 6 months of being a Diabetes Forum member. Get the Diabetes Forum App and stay connected on iOS and Android

    Grab the app!
  • Tweet with us

  • Like us on Facebook