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<blockquote data-quote="Faith*" data-source="post: 381701" data-attributes="member: 58259"><p>Hi all, </p><p></p><p>So here's my story because I think I've finally cracked over the weekend. </p><p></p><p>Type 1 diagnosed in 1996 aged 10. Been on injections until 2009 where I started a pump. Since being on the pump my control has definitely improved dramatically. Current HBA1c is 6.7% which I'm so chuffed with as it's the lowest I've ever been. I've become obsessed with weighing absolutely everything to ensure the correct amount of insulin is given. All my basals have pain stakingly been worked out and I am on the correct I:C ratios. </p><p></p><p>Been looking after my mum for years as she has had numerous operations for various things, then she was bullyed in work and became heavily depressed, I ended up having to look after her, cook, clean, motivate her etc. Thankfully she's now fully recovered on medication and is looking after herself. She's told me I need to let her go now as she's ok and to start worrying about myself, Obviously this is hard for me as I'm so used to always being at the phone ready to 'pick' her back up etc. </p><p></p><p>Since then I'm planning my wedding which is happening in less than 3 months. I'm really excited but obviously this has it's stresses. </p><p></p><p>My job in the last 2 years I'm wondering if it has taken it's toll on me, it's become increasingly stressful, i'm working extra hours over my limit, taking flack of the managers etc and being blamed for things I cannot control (they know this but still insist I could do better at reporting breaches etc). I wonder if my job has added to my little breakdown. </p><p></p><p>Over the last year I've had no periods and lost interest in sex, I went to a specialist who said even though my hormones are in normal range there slightly lower so she put me on the contraceptive pill. Which I swear have made me moody, aggitated/aggressive so i've stopped them. </p><p></p><p>Anyway over the weekend I just cried uncontrollable for hours on end, my partner didn't know what to do with me, ended up going to mum's for a bit and we had a good chat. She thinks i've been depressed for years - but you see I always just get on with it and put it at the back of my mind as there is always something else I have to think about. When I think about it she might be right though. My partner and I are ok, we had a long chat and he is as understanding as he can be really. </p><p></p><p>So my question is, do you think it's all got to me and I'm heading towards anxiety / depression?</p><p></p><p>I've got an appointment at the Docs tomorrow to have a chat with them. Thing is I don't really want to be on anti depressants if i don't need to be on them, i'm already looking for a new job so if it's work that's got me down surely I'll feel better once I leave - I even contemplated handing in my notice and just going on the temp agencies but obviously that would be incredibly stupid. </p><p></p><p>I'm short tempered, really angry and I don't know why and writing this I'm starting to cry a little. Am I depressed guys? I don't understand why I've been fine and now I'm not? </p><p></p><p>I'm so sorry for the length of this post... I don't know who else to talk to at the moment....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Faith*, post: 381701, member: 58259"] Hi all, So here's my story because I think I've finally cracked over the weekend. Type 1 diagnosed in 1996 aged 10. Been on injections until 2009 where I started a pump. Since being on the pump my control has definitely improved dramatically. Current HBA1c is 6.7% which I'm so chuffed with as it's the lowest I've ever been. I've become obsessed with weighing absolutely everything to ensure the correct amount of insulin is given. All my basals have pain stakingly been worked out and I am on the correct I:C ratios. Been looking after my mum for years as she has had numerous operations for various things, then she was bullyed in work and became heavily depressed, I ended up having to look after her, cook, clean, motivate her etc. Thankfully she's now fully recovered on medication and is looking after herself. She's told me I need to let her go now as she's ok and to start worrying about myself, Obviously this is hard for me as I'm so used to always being at the phone ready to 'pick' her back up etc. Since then I'm planning my wedding which is happening in less than 3 months. I'm really excited but obviously this has it's stresses. My job in the last 2 years I'm wondering if it has taken it's toll on me, it's become increasingly stressful, i'm working extra hours over my limit, taking flack of the managers etc and being blamed for things I cannot control (they know this but still insist I could do better at reporting breaches etc). I wonder if my job has added to my little breakdown. Over the last year I've had no periods and lost interest in sex, I went to a specialist who said even though my hormones are in normal range there slightly lower so she put me on the contraceptive pill. Which I swear have made me moody, aggitated/aggressive so i've stopped them. Anyway over the weekend I just cried uncontrollable for hours on end, my partner didn't know what to do with me, ended up going to mum's for a bit and we had a good chat. She thinks i've been depressed for years - but you see I always just get on with it and put it at the back of my mind as there is always something else I have to think about. When I think about it she might be right though. My partner and I are ok, we had a long chat and he is as understanding as he can be really. So my question is, do you think it's all got to me and I'm heading towards anxiety / depression? I've got an appointment at the Docs tomorrow to have a chat with them. Thing is I don't really want to be on anti depressants if i don't need to be on them, i'm already looking for a new job so if it's work that's got me down surely I'll feel better once I leave - I even contemplated handing in my notice and just going on the temp agencies but obviously that would be incredibly stupid. I'm short tempered, really angry and I don't know why and writing this I'm starting to cry a little. Am I depressed guys? I don't understand why I've been fine and now I'm not? I'm so sorry for the length of this post... I don't know who else to talk to at the moment.... [/QUOTE]
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