Finding it tough..

[Adam09]

Hi, apologies in advance I imagine this is going to get long and full of self-pity!

I've been diabetic for three years now I believe; things started ok and I was sticking between 5-8 for about a year or so and things were going pretty well.

Then I got food poisoning, I spent the best part of a week in bed sipping lucozade unable to stomach any food. After about a week I felt better and had a massive takeaway with my housemate at the time, then took 20 units of insulin. After a while I could feel a hypo starting so I drank some lucozade, nothing happened, I drank some more, nothing happened and repeated this several times. Eventually I was sick, by this point I couldn't feel my lips, toes or fingers and panicked and phoned home...an ambulance came and my levels were <2 for a while so they gave me a direct injection to sort it.

I thought it hadn't affected me but ever since I've worried about taking insulin, whether I'm going to take too much and then not be able to get my blood sugars back up. As a result of this I've started taking less and less insulin, any time I take what I consider to be a high dose now (anything over 6 units) I feel myself panicking and sweating about 5 minutes after that I've took too much. It distracts me from work and usually results in me eating sugar to try and relax myself that it won't happen.

I'm aware that it sounds silly but I overthink just about everything and try to justify it. The results of this are that my blood sugar has been ridiculously high for months now, I wake up with headaches, tired etc. I stopped exercising for the same reasons; yesterday I was 'forced' to play football and was so worried I ate a massive tea and loads of Lucozade beforehand, after about 10 minutes my muscles seized up and I could barely move; when I checked my blood sugar the meter reading was 'hi' I don't think I've ever seen that as it goes upto around 30?

I'm 22 and go out with my friends most weekends, I've started avoiding alcohol after around 1am and just drinking full sugar coke because I get concerned that I'm going to have a hypo while out, I avoid insulin on a morning because I concern myself that on the way to work I'm going to get caught in a traffic and have a hypo and not have enough sugar to counteract it, the list could go on..

It's pushed me to ask for advice on this it's affecting my life in every aspect at the minute and making the thought of doing anything but sitting at home trying to avoid hypos difficult.

Anyway, I better stop now writing now before I depress anyone further!

Thanks

 

[Mileana]

Just wanted to say I have read and sympathise - that is a tough situation and you sound like you have gotten a bit of an insulin phobia. Not a nice situation to be in, especially not when what scares you is what you need to keep you alive and well.

I hope someone with a bit more experience with insulin will drop by to give you some tips.

For now, (((((((HUG))))))) and well done for putting it into words - it is the first step to dealing with fear, looking it in the eye for what it is.

Best of luck, and stick around, yeah, lots to learn here.

 

[shop]

Hi, apologies in advance I imagine this is going to get long and full of self-pity!

I've been diabetic for three years now I believe; things started ok and I was sticking between 5-8 for about a year or so and things were going pretty well.

Then I got food poisoning, I spent the best part of a week in bed sipping lucozade unable to stomach any food. After about a week I felt better and had a massive takeaway with my housemate at the time, then took 20 units of insulin. After a while I could feel a hypo starting so I drank some lucozade, nothing happened, I drank some more, nothing happened and repeated this several times. Eventually I was sick, by this point I couldn't feel my lips, toes or fingers and panicked and phoned home...an ambulance came and my levels were <2 for a while so they gave me a direct injection to sort it.

I thought it hadn't affected me but ever since I've worried about taking insulin, whether I'm going to take too much and then not be able to get my blood sugars back up. As a result of this I've started taking less and less insulin, any time I take what I consider to be a high dose now (anything over 6 units) I feel myself panicking and sweating about 5 minutes after that I've took too much. It distracts me from work and usually results in me eating sugar to try and relax myself that it won't happen.

I'm aware that it sounds silly but I overthink just about everything and try to justify it. The results of this are that my blood sugar has been ridiculously high for months now, I wake up with headaches, tired etc. I stopped exercising for the same reasons; yesterday I was 'forced' to play football and was so worried I ate a massive tea and loads of Lucozade beforehand, after about 10 minutes my muscles seized up and I could barely move; when I checked my blood sugar the meter reading was 'hi' I don't think I've ever seen that as it goes upto around 30?

I'm 22 and go out with my friends most weekends, I've started avoiding alcohol after around 1am and just drinking full sugar coke because I get concerned that I'm going to have a hypo while out, I avoid insulin on a morning because I concern myself that on the way to work I'm going to get caught in a traffic and have a hypo and not have enough sugar to counteract it, the list could go on..

It's pushed me to ask for advice on this it's affecting my life in every aspect at the minute and making the thought of doing anything but sitting at home trying to avoid hypos difficult.

Anyway, I better stop now writing now before I depress anyone further!

Thanks

Hi Adam,

What happened to you must have been really scary. I spent the 1st 6 years with diabetes running high sugars ( not as high as yours though ) to avoid Hypos as I didnt want to draw attention to my diabetes. I am also currently having problems with hormone fluctuations affecting my Bsugars resulting in periods of hypos. Even the moderate hypos I have experienced ( 2/3 times a day ) are horrid but it sounds that after a huge 20 units of insulin you must have had a really bad one. I am carb counting and working closely with my DSN to try to get stable sugars. Still got a little way to go but I am striving to stay in the driving seat. My advice to you is to get some help from your DSN and learn to carb count as this will enable you to actively take control. I am not saying that it is all plain sailing but even with the probs Ive been having I have stuck with it and will continue to do so. Sending Hugs and urging you to get help with the control. ( I have experienced a fraction of what you have and can fully understand how you have ended up where you are now )

Hope this helps Adam

Let me know if you can get help from your DSN,

Lucy xxx

 

[Riri]

Hia Adam, firstly good advice from others and you've come to the right place to start getting some help. You will see from previous posts of mine that I am also terrified of Hypos. Everything was ok for some 12 years then unbeknown to me I must have started losing my hypo awareness and crashed out one day in the office without warning. It was then 5 months off work, constant day to day fear of eating because of having to inject insulin and running high blood sugars for ages (about 6-8 months). Then gradually things started to improve with support from my diabetes nurse and also husband and family members.

As the fear of hypos was so real for me and it affected my day to day life, as it is obviously does with you, my hospital team decided that i should have an inuslin pump. Once the pump is set up correctly it reduces hypo occurrence (I always used to dip in the middle of the night no matter what) and also reduces daily insulin requirement. It has certainly worked for me. I'm not fully over it, but I'm in a much better place now than I was.

I would advise you to speak to your diabetes team and GP to begin with and explain what's been happening. Take it from there then. It is easy for anyone to say it will get better, but with time I'm sure you will start regaining some confidence and things will improve slowly but surely. All the best to you. Riri x

 

[Mileana]

Just thought I would post you this link. You may be familiar with the content or maybe it is a bit new for you. I think even if you know it all, it would be good to perhaps read it again. http://www.bdec-e-learning.com/ It is about carb counting.

Also, it may be a good idea for a while to record some results. When you are going to eat, say to yourself something like:

Now I am taking 3 (or any sensible number you think is right) units of insulin. My food has 40g carb in it. If I take 1 unit too much, my blood sugar will be.... If I take 1 unit too little, I expect my blood sugar to go up to....

3 (or your number), is my very best informed guess. Even if it is 1 unit too much, I will notice in time, because I will measure my blood sugar again in 1 hour, and my blood sugar will only drop 2-3 mmol/l if my guess was wrong. I take this insulin now and I am a bit scared, but I have looked at all the facts and this is what I have to do.

At least for me, knowledge and facts are the best thing to combat fear, along with training. Try and keep a log and if you have a really hard time, work on one meal at a time, for instance one where you are able to relax, get hold of someone if you get insecure about it.

When I was learning insulin a few months ago, I was not very comfortable at first adjusting my own doses, and it may sound silly, but I actually called a mate a few times and said 'Look, I need to try something new. Could you call me in 45 minutes and pop by if you can't get hold of me'

Pride of course tends to get in the way, but if you have a really good mate or live not too far from your folks, try to get some support to make you more confident in making decisions - a backup solution can sometimes make you dare trying.

I think with time and practice and sound evidence of what your blood glucose actually does, you can (re-)learn it.

 

[Riri]

Hia again, mileana I'm so glad it's not just me that phones others. As you say I find it helps to phone someone when you're struggling and many a time I've called my sisters to say I'm going a bit lower than I like after a meal can you phone me back in 30 minutes. (to give you an idea of how scared I was during the 'bad' spells I have phoned both NHS direct and the emergency line - that's how much the fear of hypos can affect you so Adam dont think you're alone.). Sometimes it's almost hard for me to admit these things because I fell ashamed and silly about feeling like this. But I'm learning and knowing that others feel the same helps.

 

[Mileana]

Aye, same. I have decided that having too much pride is not always good for me. The good thing about this is that it seems by including other people a bit, they are actually also given a chance to show they care, and a channel for sometimes voicing concerns or asking relevant questions. For me, it has brought a few people closer.

Definately, I've never gotten the response my sometimes shy and proud self was worried I would get.

-M

 

[Adam09]

Thanks for the advice!

I had yesterday off work so I tried to keep a record of everything and force myself to try and 'get it right'!

When I woke up this morning, still had a headache (could be a coincidence) but..5.5 and I'm not panicking because I haven't injected since last night!

Now I kind of don't want to eat incase I mess it up again hah! Going to look at this link you sent Mileana and see what I can learn

 

[Mileana]

Excellent - don't worry if it still runs a tad high for a little while, as long as the result from meal to after-meal reading gets better. Then later, you can do some fine-tuning.

I'm very pleased for you, and glad you plucked up the courage to look it in the eye - well done, you!

Good luck with it, and keep us posted.

-M