Grandma depressed, bad control. How to help?

[miszu]

Hi everyone.

I feel like after my grandpa passing away my grandmas control over her t2d got worse. FBG around 8, I know some says FBG doesnt matter as much, but still I find her too high. If she eats with me her after meal BG is around 6, if she eats alone she says she wont check BG until next day morning... So u can imagine. I know I cant just tell her to look forward, live her life after losing grandpa. Took me some time too to even realise what happened. Shes around 70 (dont blame me being a granddaughter who doesnt exactly know her grandparent age, im not even sure about moms..). I asked her if she wants to move here so we can kind of cheer up each other, but its hard for her to leave home.
Well my concern is that her legs are looking bad too already... Im t1, I follow a moderate carb diet, but was on LCHF before. Still I want to know what can we do different. Or what can help her to improve from here. I dont know what to tell her, im 18. I have no idea if she gave up on managing her diabetes now because she sees no future..? Please people who understand the situation more, tell me how to help her... Two years ago my grandmas mothers leg looked the same and just a year later she was gone (but lived an amazing happy life for 85+ years, so grandma still least a decade to go! ). I want to help with grandmas depression, find some new ways, tricks, foods that help her BG go back to 5-6s.

Thanks

 

[EllieM]

Well done for caring about your grandma. The depression is sad, but not surprising, most people are very very sad after their long term partner dies. Hopefully time will help, combined with contact and moral support from her younger relatives. Try not to panic about her blood sugars : honestly they don't sound too bad to me. (I wish my blood sugars were always 6 after a meal). As a T1, you have to think very long term (50 years plus), as a 70 year old T2 it probably doesn't matter if she gets diabetic complications in 20 years time... At this stage, I wouldn't worry too much about the diabetes, it doesn't sound as though it's wildly out of control. It's more important to recognise that she's naturally very sad, and try to support her emotionally through this sad time. Do you have parents who can help? My mother died 5 years ago and I would not have expected my 18 and 20 year old children to be principal supports to my devastated father. He is now staying with us for 3 months over UK winter and although he will always miss my mother, he has recovered from her post death depression.

 

[miszu]

Well done for caring about your grandma. The depression is sad, but not surprising, most people are very very sad after their long term partner dies. Hopefully time will help, combined with contact and moral support from her younger relatives. Try not to panic about her blood sugars : honestly they don't sound too bad to me. (I wish my blood sugars were always 6 after a meal). As a T1, you have to think very long term (50 years plus), as a 70 year old T2 it probably doesn't matter if she gets diabetic complications in 20 years time... At this stage, I wouldn't worry too much about the diabetes, it doesn't sound as though it's wildly out of control. It's more important to recognise that she's naturally very sad, and try to support her emotionally through this sad time. Do you have parents who can help? My mother died 5 years ago and I would not have expected my 18 and 20 year old children to be principal supports to my devastated father. He is now staying with us for 3 months over UK winter and although he will always miss my mother, he has recovered from her post death depression.

I have a mother, but she decided to stay at her boyfriends house for now. I visit my grandma 2 times a week, but we dont live so close to each other so its a bit exhausting travelling so much. My cousins family live next to her tho, but they seem to handle her as a brainless granny. She was kind of brainless last year thats true, she had a huge tumor in her head but since her surgery last year shes back to her usual self and all very well mentally. My cousins fam doesnt get that. That must be also annoying to my grandma, I mean she said so it is.
Anyway, thank you Ellie, I ll try to focus more on supporting her emotionally than her diabetes. Thank you very much X