Had enough...

[Silenoz111]

I was diagnosed Type 2 late 2013, since then I have tried dieting and exercising to no avail. My physical health now prevents me from even walking far let alone any other exercise. I use a walking stick to get about but don't go out unless I absolutely have to. This in turn adds to my depression, which was previously Post Natal after my son was born in 2009. This lead to his mother and I splitting in 2010, plunging me to new found depths of depression, even to the point of suicide twice in 6 years! I found comfort in food, you name it, I ate it, no matter what time of day or night. The weight has piled on since, I now weigh just over 23 stone, ideal weight about 16 as I am very tall and broad naturally.

I knew the result of the blood test before my GP told me I was diabetic, frequent needing to pee, thirsty all the time, dry mouth etc. Even so, it was still a huge shock on top of everything else (Bad 2 years with son's mother and I ending up in court etc.) More comfort food!!! At the moment, I am on Modified Release Metformin x4 per day, x4 Gliclizide per day and 1 Atorvastatin per day, yet I still eat all the bad food, I've had counselling for my depression, refused medication as I want to beat it on my own terms. Lately, I have just felt like giving up trying to get my BS down as it doesn't drop below 11 mmol/L. My diabetic nurse says I'll be on insulin soon if I don't change, it just doesn't seem to bother me anymore. I am very reluctant to attend groups... My back problem wouldn't allow me to travel anyway. I'm 42 in 9 days time and just think... What's the point? At first, I was like... I will do whatever it takes to get my weight under control etc... Now I just cannot be bothered.

 

[Helss]

You've had a very hard few years and depression really takes its toll. Many of us comfort eat and it takes a great deal of persistence to change. BUT let me tell you about my depression. I had it for 15 years before I finally accepted medication. It's only when your brain chemical start to sort themselves out do you realise that depression is a chemically based illness. JUST the same as diabetes. So you are not weak if you are depressed, any more than you are weak if you get diabetes. My DH is greatly overweight, has diabetes all over his family and comfort eats. Not a sign of pre-diabetes even. Whereas I'm slimmer, have a reasonable diet, exercise more yet throw a loop if I over eat carbs.

Can I please encourage you to think about medication. It will help you deal with everything else more.

Hugs

 

[Mrsass]

Hi, if you aren't already on medication for your depression I agree with the post above about getting that sorted and maybe asking your doctor for therapy? If you feel the depression makes your diabetes suffer there is no point trying to fix the diabetes while the depression is still at its worst.
But you can still start trying to make improvements to your diabetes while you wait though, what kind of things do you eat? We can try suggest ways you can bring down your bg by what food you are having


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[ally1]

I have bipolar and type2.
When I am manic, my eating goes out of control.

 

[Kristin251]

I had taken anti depressants for smoking sessation years ago and it depressed me horribly. I firmly believe it is a brain chemical thing and meds might be the only way to fix it. Since my brain chemicals were not depressed it did the opposite. I would think if you got that taken care of you might have more will power to take care of the diabetes. And lowering your bs may help with the depression as well.
I hope you feel better.

 

[donnellysdogs]

Hi

Sorry to hear that you have had some rough times...

However. Don't be scared of insulin injections if you need them. So what? Nurses and docs can say it as if its all doom and gloom.. But it isn't. I been injecting for 30+ years and it isn't all doom n gloom.. Honest.

The other thing is... You mention suicidal emotion twice previously.... Are you under any current treatment with psychiatirst or medication?

It may be that medicines if you are on them aren't right ones for you or if you are seeing a Counsellor perhaps that the Counsellor isn't good.

I say about counselling because I have had breast cancer last year. As part of our treatment where I live we can get counselling and occupational therapy. I have both. Now the Counsellor I met the first time was awful. I could not take anticancer tablets because of side effects and she told me I was stupid and the cancer would return... (Not helpful!!) I complained and got the Manager who is brilliant. The Occupational Therapy is superb... The best I could ever imagine. I see other therapists there for art and chats and theres a "move forward" group therapy too. Each week we get given advise on how to change our thoughts....
Would be interested if you could let us know if you see specialists or on meds.

A customer of mine, a nephew and a friends husband have also killed themselves. Looking back at conversations etc I wish I had had my superb therap sessions that would may have given me better skills when I had talked to these persons.
I have also known of 1 person thru a friends relationship that faked suicide bids (literally pretending to take pills when he hadn't) and been able to explain to my friend that these bids were calls for "help me" - not fake suicide bids.......the person was in a bad place, and wanted help....

Mostly I want you to know that we as a group are here to support you.... We want to help.

There are better times ahead. Honest. You will have enormous support here.

Can you tell us -are the weight and blood levels your biggest concern at the moment?

Have you looked in to low carbing at all?

My hubby lost 4st -and has kept it off and has been 121/2st for past 3 years.

I think you need some belief in yourself.. I believe in you.... I think you want help and now prepared to find it for yourself. You can do this and you will get in a better place....

 

[kokhongw]

@Silenoz111 you have had a rough time. Many of us here have traveled thru similar situations and gone thru dark valleys in life.

Depression is not unusual or uncommon for T2D. The hormonal disruption that accompanies chronically high insulin/glucose levels is the likely reason. Medication can help while you make adjustments to your diet. Consider whatever resources that helps improve your situation.

While you are here, consider reading about carbs reduction and intermittent fasting. These are what I found helpful in restoring and normalizing my mood and health.

 

[Salvia]

Hello @Silenoz111, and welcome to the forum. I am sorry to read that you are in a bad place right now, but the fact that you have taken the step to come here and tell us of your situation is a very good start, and it shows that you are perhaps now ready to tackle your issues. You say you have had counselling for depression, but so far have refused medication to help deal with it. Hate to state the obvious, but so far dealing with it on your own terms hasn't worked; maybe now is the time to reconsider the medication and the various other support options.

It sounds as if you lost your motivation a little; you started off determined to get BG under control and now, with another birthday coming up, the motivation has dwindled somewhat. It happens to most of us at some stage. We just have to get back on the track and start again. There are loads of very friendly, knowledgeable, and supportive people here, who are only too ready and willing to help with advice and to share their experiences, what to eat, and even where to shop sometimes! They are a really brilliant community, who will, I am sure, help you to feel more positive about things. Have a read around the various forums, and ask any questions you may have. There's always someone around who will answer.

Meantime, I'll tag @daisy1 who has lots of advice for new folks to help start you off.

 

[Shar67]

There is a huge point, I don't know his name but he is your son.
It is easy to think that no one would care if you weren't there but there is, your son.
I have a whole raft of things wrong with me that makes exercise difficult, but there is exercises you can do sitting, that are very gentle.
Your son needs you, no matter what you think, make the changes so you can be the father he deserves. Denying yourself meds is selfish, get back to your GP and ask what help you can get, meds, counciling, everything that gets you to a point where you can see you are an important human being, you are a dad, maybe a brother, son, nephew, your life is worth fighting for. It will be a long hard road but you have the support on here, give it a try.

 

[fene48]

I was diagnosed Type 2 late 2013, since then I have tried dieting and exercising to no avail. My physical health now prevents me from even walking far let alone any other exercise. I use a walking stick to get about but don't go out unless I absolutely have to. This in turn adds to my depression, which was previously Post Natal after my son was born in 2009. This lead to his mother and I splitting in 2010, plunging me to new found depths of depression, even to the point of suicide twice in 6 years! I found comfort in food, you name it, I ate it, no matter what time of day or night. The weight has piled on since, I now weigh just over 23 stone, ideal weight about 16 as I am very tall and broad naturally.

I knew the result of the blood test before my GP told me I was diabetic, frequent needing to pee, thirsty all the time, dry mouth etc. Even so, it was still a huge shock on top of everything else (Bad 2 years with son's mother and I ending up in court etc.) More comfort food!!! At the moment, I am on Modified Release Metformin x4 per day, x4 Gliclizide per day and 1 Atorvastatin per day, yet I still eat all the bad food, I've had counselling for my depression, refused medication as I want to beat it on my own terms. Lately, I have just felt like giving up trying to get my BS down as it doesn't drop below 11 mmol/L. My diabetic nurse says I'll be on insulin soon if I don't change, it just doesn't seem to bother me anymore. I am very reluctant to attend groups... My back problem wouldn't allow me to travel anyway. I'm 42 in 9 days time and just think... What's the point? At first, I was like... I will do whatever it takes to get my weight under control etc... Now I just cannot be bothered.

Hi Silanoz
Your situation really sucks. I feel really sorry for you and can appreciate to some extent your frustrations as I am a recovering life long binge eater, had depression for 10 years plus I am a type 2. Perhaps us guys are a bit proud to accept help. I was the same way. I eventually went onto tablets and they helped an enormous amount to stabilize me and clear my mind.
It is not a perfect answer, but it did help me to get off the floor and try to do things. It seems that even achieving small things helps to overcome inertia. There are people out there who can help you - support groups etc.
The prospect of getting onto insulin was was my final push to get things moving. Really once you get going, you don't really look back and even if you trip, stumble and go splat- somehow you can keep going. Just read some of the stories of the people here. They certainly inspired me.
Look mate, above all your son needs you.
I think you should consider getting some help for his sake and yours.

God bless and all the best.

 

[daisy1]

@Silenoz111

Hello and welcome to the forum I am sorry that things really aren't going well for you at the moment. As mentioned above, here is the basic information we give to new members and this should help you to manage your blood sugar levels better. Ask all the questions you want and someone will be able to help.


BASIC INFORMATION FOR NEW MEMBERS

Diabetes is the general term to describe people who have blood that is sweeter than normal. A number of different types of diabetes exist.

A diagnosis of diabetes tends to be a big shock for most of us. It’s far from the end of the world though and on this forum you’ll find over 150,000 people who are demonstrating this.

On the forum we have found that with the number of new people being diagnosed with diabetes each day, sometimes the NHS is not being able to give all the advice it would perhaps like to deliver - particularly with regards to people with type 2 diabetes.

The role of carbohydrate

Carbohydrates are a factor in diabetes because they ultimately break down into sugar (glucose) within our blood. We then need enough insulin to either convert the blood sugar into energy for our body, or to store the blood sugar as body fat.

If the amount of carbohydrate we take in is more than our body’s own (or injected) insulin can cope with, then our blood sugar will rise.

The bad news

Research indicates that raised blood sugar levels over a period of years can lead to organ damage, commonly referred to as diabetic complications.

The good news

People on the forum here have shown that there is plenty of opportunity to keep blood sugar levels from going too high. It’s a daily task but it’s within our reach and it’s well worth the effort.

Controlling your carbs

The info below is primarily aimed at people with type 2 diabetes, however, it may also be of benefit for other types of diabetes as well.
There are two approaches to controlling your carbs:

• Reduce your carbohydrate intake
• Choose ‘better’ carbohydrates

Reduce your carbohydrates

A large number of people on this forum have chosen to reduce the amount of carbohydrates they eat as they have found this to be an effective way of improving (lowering) their blood sugar levels.

The carbohydrates which tend to have the most pronounced effect on blood sugar levels tend to be starchy carbohydrates such as rice, pasta, bread, potatoes and similar root vegetables, flour based products (pastry, cakes, biscuits, battered food etc) and certain fruits.

Choosing better carbohydrates

Another option is to replace ‘white carbohydrates’ (such as white bread, white rice, white flour etc) with whole grain varieties. The idea behind having whole grain varieties is that the carbohydrates get broken down slower than the white varieties –and these are said to have a lower glycaemic index.
http://www.diabetes.co.uk/food/diabetes-and-whole-grains.html

The low glycaemic index diet is often favoured by healthcare professionals but some people with diabetes find that low GI does not help their blood sugar enough and may wish to cut out these foods altogether.

Read more on carbohydrates and diabetes

LOW CARB PROGRAM:
http://www.diabetes.co.uk/low carb program


Eating what works for you

Different people respond differently to different types of food. What works for one person may not work so well for another. The best way to see which foods are working for you is to test your blood sugar with a glucose meter.

To be able to see what effect a particular type of food or meal has on your blood sugar is to do a test before the meal and then test after the meal. A test 2 hours after the meal gives a good idea of how your body has reacted to the meal.

The blood sugar ranges recommended by NICE are as follows:

Blood glucose ranges for type 2 diabetes

• Before meals: 4 to 7 mmol/l
• 2 hours after meals: under 8.5 mmol/l

Blood glucose ranges for type 1 diabetes (adults)

• Before meals: 4 to 7 mmol/l
• 2 hours after meals: under 9 mmol/l

Blood glucose ranges for type 1 diabetes (children)

• Before meals: 4 to 8 mmol/l
• 2 hours after meals: under 10 mmol/l

However, those that are able to, may wish to keep blood sugar levels below the NICE after meal targets.

Access to blood glucose test strips

The NICE guidelines suggest that people newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes should be offered:

• structured education to every person and/or their carer at and around the time of diagnosis, with annual reinforcement and review
• self-monitoring of plasma glucose to a person newly diagnosed with type 2 diabetes only as an integral part of his or her self-management education

Therefore both structured education and self-monitoring of blood glucose should be offered to people with type 2 diabetes. Read more on getting access to bloodglucose testing supplies.

You may also be interested to read questions to ask at a diabetic clinic

Note: This post has been edited from Sue/Ken's post to include up to date information.