Hate it!!!

I had a bit of a breakdown when my son was diagnosed with diabetes when he was 8 months old. He also has Down syndrome so another diagnoses wasn't received very well. Diabetes will also mean that it will be unlikely that my son will ever have any independence and nor will I. I saw a psychiatrist while at the hospital when Khaleb was first admitted and was told that I don't have to like/enjoy what has happened but that wont change the fact that it has.

I still don't like Khaleb having either of his conditions but we do try and live life to the best of our ability.

Anyway, I don't think anyone can really ask you to like having diabetes but a part of being an adult is also being responsible. In a few years time your life might be different and you may have want children and having control of your diabetes and not fighting it every step of the way might make your journey in life a little more comfortable.

Vent here as much as you want.

Jen.

Hi, sounds like you're having a nightmare of a time, and you are not alone, so don't give up!
I was diagnosed type-1 at the age of 19, and was put on lantus in 2003, my health then deteriorated and I was so ill I was unable to look after my children or myself a lot of the time. Extreme tiredenss, depression, physical symptoms such as aching legs and arms are often reported as well as a feeling of being 'spaced out' or being poisoned. I had all of the above, and was misdiagnosed with fibromyalgia. Of course people with diabetes can have other illnesses, but having been in contact with many peole experiencing similar symptoms on lantus, it's no co-incidence. People also report having inconsistent and unpredictable blood sugar control.
I changed to pork insulin last May, and felt different from the day I stopped the Lantus, and it's continued. I do feel normal, no longer tired, and not despairing. I no longer have the unpredictable blood sugar results that made me conclude I was useless at managing it.
During the time I was ill, I had no help from my diabetes clinic,despite telling them of the daily fluctuations of my blood sugars, which is not good for any diabetic; it was never suggested to me that I should change insulins, they just said that analogue insulins where the best which made me feel even more useless and frustrated - I never suspected it could be making me so ill and causing my blood sugar problems. I thought there was something else wrong with me, and feel like an idiot for not making the connection. I still feel like that a year later, and the whole experince still upsets me to this day. My husband just asked me one day "do you think it's your insulin?", and it all fell into place.
I strongly urge you contact the IDDT (insulin dependent diabetes trust) and discuss your concerns with them. They have a help-line number which is on their website.
I made a comment on another posting today; I said that young people who have only ever been on synthetic insulins may think that being ill and tired is part of the diabetic condition, and that doctors will not tell them any different. You do sound like one of those young people I refer to. People have lived, and do live normal, happy and long lives, well controlled on the correct insulin so
please don't despair.
Best of luck
Jus

Please don't apologise for 'going on'- that's what this forums for.
You've been very unfortunate to be diagnosed with it so young, and it's difficult to get your head around coping with life and illness.I got very depressed when I was diagnosed and saw myself as being blind and legless by the time I was 40. Had my 40th recently, did get legless!
I also used to think I had the most unsociable condition, people look at you like your a freak when you prick your finger or take injection. As you get older and hang about with adults that reaction hopefully will lessen. Once you get better cotrol and mangement of your blood sugars and general health, you'll feel better equipped to cope with the other stuff. People who don't have diabetes or don't know people with it , don't understand the reality of living with it. If someone's diagnosed diabetic in a telly programme, theres a huge drama when they're diagnosed and you never hear about it again! We, on this forum DO know what it's like and the reason a lot of us post here is because we do care, and hope that telling our experience may help someone else. So keep posting and as Jen says vent as much as you like!
Jus

Hello

Sorry to hear you are having a wretched time with the diabetes. You are having to cope with a lot of things and you are entitled to feel a whole range of emotions including hatred and depression. :cry: Venting your frustrations is a good way to deal with how you feel.

Adolescence is a traumatic time enough without the added pressure of being diagnosed with a life long incurable condition. Diabetes is however manageable.
Your diagnosis of diabetes is something that cannot be changed to quote from a very famous TV programme "its a fixed point in time & space" :!:
However you are a unique person and one way of trying to look at the situation is that diabetes has chosen you as a friend. Diabetes chooses people from all walks of life, all ages, all sexes, all ethnicity’s, and all cultures.
I know its probably difficult to think to the future but when your old like me :lol: you will have a whole wealth of knowledge & experience in the management of diabetes & you will be able to look back and chuckle!

I expect you may have been bombarded with information from people and possibly being “lectured” or “nagged” at regarding controlling your diabetes.
Ultimately it is about taking responsibility and ownership of the disease and with that you will feel much more in control. :idea:
Yes you might have to make adaptations to your life style & rearrange your cupboards to accommodate all the associated paraphernalia :lol: you need for your diabetic control but the diabetes has to live with you not the other way around and none of us can dump the diabetes at some one else’s door because its decided to stick with us for life.

Taking up the offer of speaking with the psychologist will give you a confidential talking space which you may find useful, but… do not come out of one session with the psychologist expecting to feel instantly better because it will take time. Hope you won't have to wait too long for an appointment.

Have you got support from family and friends?

Hang in there and please keep posting.

Best wishes

Tracey xx

Hi Curly
Try diabetes Uk
they have groups and meetings and activities for young people like you. If you got together with otthers, you might feel less alone.
As a mother and grandmother, I can comment that your parents might just be so horrified about what's happened to you that they can't cope and try to ignore it. Without meaning to be hurtful.
Try to set aside some time when you are all calm to talk it through with them.

I agree with Hana, a local group where you can meet people who know excatly what you are feeling and understand would benifit you. How are your close friends dealing with it? I think you should speak to your diabetic nurse or a GP and see what help you can get but please remember you are not alone and there are some brilliant people on here which will help you through. They have helped me many a time when I feeling low.
My daughter was only diagnosed last year aged 10 so have alot to get through but we are learning together and try to laugh through all the bad times. Could you talk to your mum or dad or is there someone else in the family you could be open with and explain how lost you are feeling, they may think that by not making a big deal of it they are helping as they may not want you to feel labeled.

You are probably handling it alot better than you think but just need someone to tell you that every now and then as it takes alot of strength to overcome the feeling and emotions and you sound like you havent had an easy time lately but the sun will rise when you conquer the mountain maybe just need a hand to hold on the way. Please contact local support group- they will help. Take care
Charlie

Hi Caz

Not much more I can add than has already been said <hugs> You aren't alone there are lots of us out here. Instead of thinking yourself different, think of yourself as special Not many people get to walk around with potentially lethal weapons in their handbag.
Has anyone told you that having diabetes makes you a little more prone to feeling down, especially when your sugars are running high? Trying to keep yourself balanced will help you look at things more happily
Check with your local hospital to see if they have a diabetic group - when I was a kid I remember going to all sorts of days out with people exactly the same as me, who didn't mind me talking to them about my problems/up and downs/questions. I stopped going when I was about your age, simply due to the fact that I moved. But they are still running, and I'm still in touch with a few of the peeps there

It is daunting, knowing it's with you probably forever BUT .. treatment has progressed so quickly in the past 20 years I am sure that there will be even easier ways to treat it, and possibly even cures within your lifetime Don't give up hope Do your best to take your insulin correctly, keep your sugars level and it'll make things so much easier. Once you have sorted that out, you'll find everything is far more easy.

If you want to chat, send me a pm maybe we could chat on msn or something

I think it'd be great for you to go and see a therapist. I was a bit dubious at first, especially about what other people would think, but it's done me a world of good. They're there to help us, and even if you decide it isn't for you, it's at least worth a bash.

I'm not 100% happy with my diabetes, but instead of dwelling on the fact I have an illness I try to see it as something that makes me part of an elite group. I have very few friends with diabetes, so in most of my circles I'm the token diabetic, and that makes me feel special.

I've started putting all my thoughts into a blog, which I think helps others around me too, as they know what's going on and they don't need to ask me as much directly

It's taken me two years to get to this point, but can take some people two decades. It's different for everyone, but we all get there and it's a nice feeling you can look forward to whenever it happens.

Good luck!

Kirsty-Marisa

www.whatmypancreasdidnext.blogspot.com

Hi Kirstym.
Welcome to the forum. You seem to know just exactly where you are going. However, if there is anything we can do to help just ask.

Ken.

I've been where you are. its a bit crazy. The family thing is a right pain. I know that look. difficult for them to comprehend and I doubt anyone who isn't type 1 will completely understand.

My teenage years were hell like. constantly bouncing numbers, going hypo in every conceivable scenario and waking up staring at the casualty ceiling.

MIXATARD IS THE WORSE INSULIN I HAVE EVER USED.

You need a bolus insulin like Apidra. injecting more often is better. the body works more efficiently and you will feel better. and drink plenty of water we all get far too dehydrated without realising it.

My overall "control" improved when I reached 20. after all diabetes is a hormonal disfuction.

Hi

Only posting on here today as off work due to swine flu & thats why I hate it.

Anyway diabetes has never stopped me over the 30 plus year I have had it since a teenager, I have held a job down for 30 years and done everything I have been allowed to or not in some cases.

I used to get annoyed with the high insurance rates in the early days that the insurance companies imposed and very few would insure me to ride motorcycles.

You need to ask yourself what am I annoyed at and go on from there. Basically diabetes type 1 in my case is about testing and injecting and that is it, it takes up a few minutes a day some people waste their life online.

If you get stuck let me know, I remember as an apprentice electrician people complaining I was a risk especially erecting mobile scaffolding in industrial premises but I never fell as I made sure food was always nearby. In them days it was a glass and metal syringe kept in industrial spirits at home so if your sugars were high that was it till you got home and the old urine testing was like doing chemistry experiments. Sunday night I stayed in to boil the syringe ready for the weeks use missing valuable drinking time with my mates.

i understand you completely i'm 21 and at the minute i couldn't give too hoots about my diabetes i was diagnosed when i was 7 i'm 21 now nd i've neva once looked after myself. i know i'm slowly harming myself but i just cant understand anything properly.

i've started having problems with my diabetes my eyes are always blurry and i'm starting to get a tingly feeling in my fingers so i'm starting to worry now but i still cant get the hang of checking my blood glucose, i've never missed a injection but sometimes i feel it doesnt work.

when my blood glucose is high i inject a couple more units to bring it down but it still seems to be rising? any idea wot that could be.

any way back to the subject, i think its just an age thing not caring, i've got my boyfriend to talk to and he's a big help he reminds me to inject and do my blood glucose but when he's not their i'm terrible at it. where thinking about starting a family in about 4 years so i need big help.

try and find any1, even a total stranger who will listen even diabetes uk care line they listen and give advice their very helpful.

I've always been on the other side of the fence when it comes to this issue. I've tried to be understanding of other people's reluctance to accept their condition and the stress it causes, but I always end up seeing myself as a 9 year old boy being told he'd have this condition for the rest of his life and taking it like just another day.

Or put it another way:
You don't have aids, cancer, or any other number of life ending diseases. You have diabetes. Yes, it sucks. We all want to lob cream pies at the offices of Novo, GSK, etc. because they've dragged their heels when it comes to curative research, but we're a lot better off than many others.

I for one am sick to the back teeth of fluctuating blood sugars, but if I had the choice between solving that problem or having my ex-gf back? I'd have to seriously think about my choice. Diabetes is just one thing in your life. One thing that you can control - unlike so many others. You can make it work, and you can save yourself from complications if you choose to.

Everyone gets screwed over in life, in one form or another - ours fate has been to have our pancreases explode.

Rant over.

bmtest said:

Hi

Only posting on here today as off work due to swine flu & thats why I hate it.

Anyway diabetes has never stopped me over the 30 plus year I have had it since a teenager, I have held a job down for 30 years and done everything I have been allowed to or not in some cases.

I used to get annoyed with the high insurance rates in the early days that the insurance companies imposed and very few would insure me to ride motorcycles.

You need to ask yourself what am I annoyed at and go on from there. Basically diabetes type 1 in my case is about testing and injecting and that is it, it takes up a few minutes a day some people waste their life online.

If you get stuck let me know, I remember as an apprentice electrician people complaining I was a risk especially erecting mobile scaffolding in industrial premises but I never fell as I made sure food was always nearby. In them days it was a glass and metal syringe kept in industrial spirits at home so if your sugars were high that was it till you got home and the old urine testing was like doing chemistry experiments. Sunday night I stayed in to boil the syringe ready for the weeks use missing valuable drinking time with my mates.

Click to expand...

Hey man, glad someone else knows about the problems people used to have getting insurance and the likes. I'm lucky that I'm young enough not to have encountered it (except with holiday cover), but I know the history and I have to say we need to keep an eye on the insurance companies to make sure this stuff never happens again.

Hi curlycaz5,so sorry to hear you are having a bad time.I know you were very young when you got diagnosed.I was 17 in the early 1970s i had only just left school and started my first job .Had all the usual symptons terrible thirst,falling asleep,went really skinny (well i was only skinny anyway) couldnt stop eating etc.I was kept in hospital for two weeks full of all old people in ward dying i was really upset as were my parents.As Bmtest said had to use big glass syringes and boil them to reuse.I cried all the time on my own though.I tried to be tough but thought my life had ended and i would end up with no legs blind etc.Now i end up blind drunk and legless!!! :lol: :lol: no only joking.Anyway came out of hospital back to my job.Only told a few friends and they all felt sorry for me but were great.No one has ever understood what i have gone through.But as ive said befor on this site you only get one life and you have got to live it best you can.I had to inject with those big glass syringes we never even had blood glucose monitors and tested your wee not your blood with tablets you put in a sort of test tube to see what colour it went and what your blood sugar was.Well to cut a long story short ive always worked have had 4 kids well not kids now 3 girls one lad none of them have any signs of diabetes.I am very healthy got no complications (thank god) still moan but i am very happy.I go out every weekend and have done since i was 17.I am now 5?!!!not telling you the real age :lol: :lol: I know its very hard and sometimes i get really upset and hate everyone who is not diabetic because they havent a clue what we have to do.But honestly curlycaz5 things will get better i know i have had lots of horrible things happening in my life as well .But i still remember to this day when i was told i had sugar diabetes (thats what they called in the 70s and the only person i know who had it was a little old blind lady in our flats.So of course i was upset and scared.Then i just had to get on with my life and just be like all my mates.i hope curlycaz you feel better soon and dont let this get in your way because there is plenty of help for you and try to speak to a young person like yourself with type 1 diabetes and i am sure you will feel better keep in touch

janabelle said:

Please don't apologise for 'going on'- that's what this forums for.
You've been very unfortunate to be diagnosed with it so young, and it's difficult to get your head around coping with life and illness.I got very depressed when I was diagnosed and saw myself as being blind and legless by the time I was 40. Had my 40th recently, did get legless!
I also used to think I had the most unsociable condition, people look at you like your a freak when you prick your finger or take injection. As you get older and hang about with adults that reaction hopefully will lessen. Once you get better cotrol and mangement of your blood sugars and general health, you'll feel better equipped to cope with the other stuff. People who don't have diabetes or don't know people with it , don't understand the reality of living with it. If someone's diagnosed diabetic in a telly programme, theres a huge drama when they're diagnosed and you never hear about it again! We, on this forum DO know what it's like and the reason a lot of us post here is because we do care, and hope that telling our experience may help someone else. So keep posting and as Jen says vent as much as you like!
Jus

Click to expand...

I agree and it's all so familiar

This has brought back funny memories ! I was 'done over' in 1976 after weighing in at a huge 3 stone aged 8 on New Year's Day. I remember my Mum boiling syringes, having 2 digestives and 7 fluid ounces of milk before bed to build me back up, doing a wee in a test tube and dropping a tablet in to see what colour it was......( my mum would shout 'is it blue?' because that meant it was low. I remember not being allowed to sit with the other kids at dinner because they had school dinners and I had sandwiches, and my Mum coming into school and shouting when she found out #excitingday. I was given a metal gun that fired your syringe randomly at you and caused huge bruises #whoinventedthat? My Nan used to make me a diabetic selection box every year - Skells - funny sweets that gave you the runs if you o/d'd. Oh and my Mum made 'unusual' cakes using vanilla pods, Sorbitol, some poison like drops of concentrated sweetener etc that my friends thought were also a bit weird. But.....all this makes us boring 40 year veterans realise how things have come on. No syringes and wipes that toughen your skin, not so many rules, more understanding ( despite some misquotes - thanks Daily Mail ) and places like this. Where else but here can I rant and feel safe? I'm currently off with neuropathy pain/vitamin deficiency pain? Who knows....and I'm also like everyone on here a bit fed up at times ( random crying ) but this site is ace !