Hi Ands
Type 1, age 33, five weeks ago. It is murder. There are lots of times during the day when I think - sod it, I feel **** despite trying hard to manage this - pass the Minstrels and the spaghetti carbonara!!
All i know is when I feel wobbly, think about future complications and see high blood sugars it makes me feel really bad (mentally, as well as physically). For me, and it is an individual thing, taking control of something I had no control over (getting diabetes) is what is going to spur me on and make me feel both physically and mentally better.
You sound like you feel out of control and for me changing the power balance in your 'relationship' with diabetes would be a good starting place.
You have two beautiful children to spur you on and you managed two pregnancies well despite/with all the increased risks so you are capable of doing this. You have the added issues of other health problems which must be additionaly stressful and make bs management hard but maybe if you just focus on one thing at a time?
Maybe start by taking your insulin and then build up to taking all your meds over a time frame. After that maybe look at changing what you eat one meal per day and build up? You might need a couple of months or however long to do this, but you are better to improve things over the months than maintain the status quo indefinitely.
In terms of diet, have a look around the site for lots of info and pick what you can cope with for now.
Those in the know say it does get better (dont feel I am yet in the know, just trying as hard as I can to get back to normal)
L x