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Help Needed Please

Discussion in 'Ask A Question' started by quickyliz12, Aug 9, 2008.

  1. quickyliz12

    quickyliz12 · Member

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    Hi, Im a first time user so hope Im doing this ok!!!! My son, aged 18, has type 1, was diagnosed completely out of the blue when he was 15, huge shock to all of us when he was admitted as a matter of emergency to hospital with a sugar level of 37!!! Anyway basiaclly he was amazing from day one, coped far better than anyone couldve imagined and for two years controlled his levels pretty well, generally keeping around 7/8/9 max as he never liked the feeling of being around 5/6. All that changed about a year ago, I can only analyse it by saying that I believe he has completely lost his confidence in himself, is constantly scared and never drops his level under about 12. This I could cope with but just recently, having booked a holiday abroad with his friends, within an hour of them about to leave for the airport, he pulled out in tears saying he just couldnt cope with being away from home. Since then his levels have soared even higher ( even hitting 30 at one point last week!!! ), he came abroad with us for a week but only with a lot of talking n reassurance from myself and his father. He started his first job in London last week and promises me that he will now look at lowering his levels but Im not convinced. Not a day goes by when I dont have a few tears for him and I have to say I am so scared for him and wot these high levels are doing to him. Obviously I hide all my thoughts from him and try to be as positive as I can, tho last night I did try some hard talking to try and get thro and Ive said maybe just up his insulin one level at a time, gradually. I really dont know wot to do or where to turn ( I cant talk to his dad coz he just cries so he doesnt even know that things are as bad as they are ) I just need to know if anyone else has been thro this and if anyone has any suggestions. Thank you and sorry if I havent come across well or done this in the correct format. Liz
     
  2. hanadr

    hanadr · Expert

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    Sounds like some confience building is needed, before serious damage happens. Try looking at DiabetesUK services for young people. they have holidays and get-togethers. Most of the youngsters using this will be younger than your son. It might give him a boost to see much younger kids coping.
     
  3. quickyliz12

    quickyliz12 · Member

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    Thank you for your really quick reply, unfortunately my son is bit of a loner, rite from a baby he has never done parties or group things so I just dont think Ill get him there. He had a brilliant nurse but unfortunately also she has moved on altho we did call her the night if the holiday he didnt go on but really there was nothing anyone of us could say. Thank you tho and I will try and mention this to him.
     
  4. ChocFish

    ChocFish · Well-Known Member

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    Aww I am sorry you and your son have all these worries, but coping with a chronic illness, finishing school, starting a new job, moving away from home, look at it when its written down in front of you, its quite a lot to handle isnt it?

    Ask him what it is that is bothering him most, is it the change of circumstances, is it the diabetes, try and find out what his biggest problem is, so ok he wont go and join a group or something, what about teenage counselling, one to one counselling I mean, you say he started a job in London, there are a few 'not-for-profit' organisations that provide counselling for stressed out teens suffering from anxiety, depression, shyness, etc, maybe he wants to find out a bit more about these services.
    Ask him what he thinks could be useful for him, praise him for what he has achieved so far, being diagnosed at 15 and coping with it all so very well until fairly recently, its a hell of an achievement I think, I know I wouldnt have handled it well at all.
    And think about it, he was too scared to go on a holiday with his friends and with you as a family, but he did have the courage to go for a job interview, AND he landed a job as well, WELL DONE.
    So focus on the things that he has done so really well, tell him that he has shown strength in dealing with this and that, so now he has reached another hurdle and that he can overcome this one as well, just needs to look around for a solution that he is happy with, and normally there are choices, and if he does pick the wrong one, nothing is lost, he can try his other options, this way he wont feel cornered which would result in even more pressure.

    Let me know if you want more details about counselling services available or anything you just want to ask. Maybe he can join this forum or at least become an observer here and pick up some good ideas here and there?

    All the best

    Karen
     
  5. quickyliz12

    quickyliz12 · Member

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    Well that just made me cry!!!!! Thank you so much for such a long reply, it was very touching. Yes I think the counselling may be a good idea so any extra guidance on this would be really appreciated. Again you really touched my heart so thank you.
     
  6. ChocFish

    ChocFish · Well-Known Member

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    Oh stop it you have me crying too!

    You will find that everyone in this forum is really helpful and understanding, a great deal of empathy because we have all been there at one time or another and probably have to face more of it as we go along and need to lean on others to help pull us through and it is nothing to be ashamed of. We cant all be happy and cheerful all the time, we are not circus clowns are we?!

    So you say your son is in London? Can you tell me where, I mean east, north, south, west, or you can send a PM and tell me which borough he is in and I will see what services are available close or fairly close to where he works/lives?

    Love

    Karen x
     
  7. quickyliz12

    quickyliz12 · Member

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    Hi we are in Brentwood, Essex and my son has just started work in Charing Cross. Thanks again for all your help.
     
  8. fergus

    fergus Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Hi quickyliz12,

    I'm really sorry to hear of your son's predicament. I have type 1 diabetes also and although I was diagnosed aged 18, it was still a very difficult time for me. I think diagnosis at 15 would be tougher still, with the enormous stresses and uncertainties that come with being an adolescent male.
    I'm speculating of course, but does he have particular concerns about hypoglycemia - or very low blood sugar? That might explain his 'comfort zone' at blood sugar levels which were a little too high at first and are now very high. Has he had particularly bad hypo experiences, or perhaps very few hypo's but a lot of anxiety about them?
    He may feel 'safer' at high blood sugar levels, but he's a bright lad and knows perfectly well what the long term risks are. The illusion of teenage immortality quickly wears off at the first sign of kidney or eye damage. I ignored my diabetes for many years until things eventually caught up with me.
    I wish I could reassure him that it is perfectly possible to maintain normal, stable blood sugar levels that would free him from the worry of hypoglycemia and long term complications. I've done it, and many others here have done it too.
    You obviously love him dearly, but I think he might benefit a great deal from joining the forum himself. He can simply look at the postings and discussions which are usually pretty informative and often a lot of fun too.
    He'd be very welcome.

    All the best,

    fergus
     
  9. quickyliz12

    quickyliz12 · Member

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    Hi Fergus, thank you so much for your reply. Yes his main concern is having a hypo n not recovering from it, he had a couple of bad ones a year or so ago n I think it all stems from those, he wasnt hospitalised with them but they were quite scary. I agree that it would be good for him to read these messages and will judge the right time when we can sit down quietly together. Its immensly comforting to read all the posts n I only wish Id found you sooner. He says that not a minute of a day goes by without him worrying about his diabetes, I just wish with all my heart that I could take that worry away n maybe coming on this website will begin to reassure him that other people with diabetes do go about their lives without that constant cloud over their heads. His family, house n girlfriend are his comfort zone ( not to mention the ever reliable Weetabix which goes everywhere with him ) and he worries every time he is not in that zone ( I was amazed he accepted n actually started his new job this week n was so proud that he found the strength to do so )Thank you again for your words, they really did help.
     
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