Welcome
@abbymeg
Don't get disheartened, its worth sticking with to get so much better overall.
Initially forget all about calories and weight loss.
If you concentrate on lowering your bg by lowering carbs, the weight loss will follow. You have a meter so eat to it.
In other words test before each meal then at 2 hours after. Any rise between the 2 of 2 or more shows that you have eaten something that is too carby for you.
Eat low carbs foods ( fish, eggs, cheese, dairy and above ground veg) until you are full, then stop and don't snack .
Eat a filling meal again when hungry, and repeat.
You'll soon find the intervals between meals lengthen and you start missing one or 2 of usual meal times.
If you then start to measure your carbs you may well find they are less than 50g. Lots of us manage best in around 20g a day.
If you measure from the beginning you might find that you feel deprived, even when you are not. I built in a daily treat of a square or 2 of very dark chocolate and that has become more than enough.
Be prepared for your body to throw a toddler tantrum or 2 as its usual bad treats are withheld, but you as the adult know that it would be dangerous to let a toddler have an item that may harm it. The tantrums pass.