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Help with mom

H

History45

Newbie
Messages
2
Type of diabetes
Family member
Treatment type
I do not have diabetes
Hello,

I have been lurking around this website for awhile, but have just created an account recently. I was hoping someone might have some insight into an issue that I have been unable to resolve.
My mom was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes about 8 years ago. Since the diagnosis though my mom has been largely refusing to accept that she has diabetes. Anytime it is brought up she just focuses on the fact that her dad had diabetes and it must be genetic. I think she is trying to rationalize that she does not need to change any of her eating or exercise habits.
My dad and I have been trying to help out in any we can, for example, we have altered how we all eat (less carbs and sugar) and make sure that at least one of us accompanies my mom on walks everyday. Her bg numbers have gone down since trying to reduce carbohydrates.
However, besides what my dad and I do to help her, she will not accept other ideas regarding how to manage the diabetes. Anytime her numbers end up being higher she becomes very sullen and tries to deflect blame (instead of realizing that she needs to change or reduce her consumption of whatever sent the numbers high).

Has anyone had experience with initially refusing to accept a diabetes diagnosis and come to change how they view and live with the disease? If so, was there anything that your family did which helped or that you wish they had done to make the accepting process easier? My dad and I are running out of ideas on how to help her and do not want to see the disease progress further.

Thanks!
Please let me know if this is the right forum for such a question!
 
Welcome to the forum @History45

I can't really offer any advice, but just wanted to reply to say it's definitely the right forum for your question, and I'm sure others will be along who have been in the place your mum is, and can help you.
 
History45 said:
Hello,

I have been lurking around this website for awhile, but have just created an account recently. I was hoping someone might have some insight into an issue that I have been unable to resolve.
My mom was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes about 8 years ago. Since the diagnosis though my mom has been largely refusing to accept that she has diabetes. Anytime it is brought up she just focuses on the fact that her dad had diabetes and it must be genetic. I think she is trying to rationalize that she does not need to change any of her eating or exercise habits.
My dad and I have been trying to help out in any we can, for example, we have altered how we all eat (less carbs and sugar) and make sure that at least one of us accompanies my mom on walks everyday. Her bg numbers have gone down since trying to reduce carbohydrates.
However, besides what my dad and I do to help her, she will not accept other ideas regarding how to manage the diabetes. Anytime her numbers end up being higher she becomes very sullen and tries to deflect blame (instead of realizing that she needs to change or reduce her consumption of whatever sent the numbers high).

Has anyone had experience with initially refusing to accept a diabetes diagnosis and come to change how they view and live with the disease? If so, was there anything that your family did which helped or that you wish they had done to make the accepting process easier? My dad and I are running out of ideas on how to help her and do not want to see the disease progress further.

Thanks!
Please let me know if this is the right forum for such a question!
Click to expand...
Perhaps just print off some info on diabetes type 2 and leave it for her to read on her own terms. I've been up and down with my diabetes, denial, burnout, cycling, not cycling, ignoring it, now I'm back addressing it. If a person wants to change it has to be from within themselves and are willing to do so. It's a hard thing to get your head around. As it's not changing diet it's changing your lifestyle and your mum may be thinking she doesn't want to become a burdern to anyone. Also the whole memory of her dad having diabetes this maybe a trigger for her. Like I said, print off information and leave it for her to read and give her some space to do it. You may be surprised at things she may do herself.
 
I agree with the previous posters, but want to add something about her being moody when her blood sugar levels are higher. It's often a chemical reaction to have mood swings, especially around being grumpy and irritable when they go higher.

What meds is she on? It sounds like she is testing her levels. How often does she test?

Being afraid is common after diagnosis, which can lead to the reactions you mention. Feeling out of control is also a common reaction, especially as many people think, or are told by their diabetes nurse, that it's progressive and there is nothing much they can do to stop it progressing .

If she could join us, or see this forum, she will hear from us and know that we can have some control, halt the progression or slow it down, and it's not all bad news.

Best wishes.
 
Unlike a heart attack or a stroke diagnosis diabetes may present without any obvious symptoms.
Instead it is a slow insipidus enemy, taking years to cause irreversible complications that can define the remainder of your shortened life.

Unlike a heart attack or stroke you have a window of opportunity to delay or prevent the inevitable.
I know what path I'd choose.
 
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