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help??

P

paig3robinsonx

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2
I don’t really know how to put this into words to be honest, but i hope someone can offer me some advice.

I am 14 years old and i was diagnosed with type 1 in march 2017, and i also have an omnipod and a libre which i am extremely grateful for.

I was 11 when i was first diagnosed, and at the time as much as i hated it, i was on top of it, constantly keeping track of my blood sugars, injecting, carb counting accurately and etc but now i just do not feel the same at all. i always find i’m really embarrassed to ever talk about my diabetes and i just don’t have the effort to care for myself anymore.

i’m very grateful for my pump which i’ve had for nearly 2 years now, but i constantly find that i’m embarrassed for people to see it and i’m just scared of being judged. except for people who actually have diabetes, no one seems to be educated, and it’s genuinely such a horrible feeling to tell someone that you’re a diabetic, and they think that you must have been fat, or you have the “fat diabetes”, especially being in high school where i feel constantly judged.

i just don’t have the effort to cope with it anymore, it feels like i have so much pressure on me to be able to manage it, and as much as my parents and my friends and everyone around me tries to help, i just feel like no one actually understands how much i’m struggling. i dread going to hospital for my checkups because i’m scared of letting people down and i’m embarrassed by the fact that i can’t actually look after myself. how could i manage it better as an 11 year old???? i just want it all to go away. it’s awful.

does anyone at all have any advice that might help make things easier for me, i don’t know what to do at all.

thankyou. x
 
To be blunt - you can't fix stupid. It is one of those things, no matter how we try, there are always going to be those who go through life blissfully unaware of their own lack of adequacy. You really do not need to be embarrassed though - or be afraid. At the moment you are in other people's care, they should be looking after your requirements. Your check ups are to see how well they are doing, not you.
 
Paige, I see you have started another thread with the same title. They really need to be merged, as we only really allow one thread, per topic.

I'll merge the other thread into this one, as I really think you'll have more responses in the Type 1 area, than you might in the other sub forum.
 
Hi Paige,
Yes it sucks. Yes people are not the best at understanding. Yes it never goes away and is awful.
Other diabetic people understand. You’ll read on the forum about how well managed some people are, about how some T2s feel better now they know how to manage things but the truth is all this is hard.
You need to talk to your medical team about your feelings. It takes so much mental effort to mange T1, all the technology is wonderful and makes life easier but it can get a bit much and people either respond with “wow, cool” or just don’t get it.
The good news is that life moves on and diabetes does just become part of it all as other things become more important. Tell your team how you feel and ask for some support. You’ll get through this.
 
Dear Paige
I am sorry that you feel embarrassed and guilty about something that isn't your fault. It is normal to feel isolated because you don't know any other type 1s though if you are in a secondary school the chances are there are at least another 4-5 maybe?
I believe that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger meaning that until you tell people or show them that you are diabetic thus risking some fear and anxiety in the process, you will always have those feelngs about it that are currently impacting your ability to look after yourself. I am not suggesting that you wear a Diabetes tee shirt although you could do that but that you mention it in a natural way e.g. I need to take my blood sugar now or adjust my dosage.
Perhaps you've had negative or ignorant comments and may get them again but you may also get people who are curious and some who think you're a star for handling it. Others will be far too wrapped up in their own things to care or notice.
At present the fear is keeping you unhappy and diabetes is taking far too much of your mental effort and I think you need to put it in its proper place by tackling your anxiety.
Diabetes UK Careline offer some support from a real person and I've heard that they are clued up about the best way to handle type 1 at school.

x
(fellow type 1 diagnosed aged 10)
 
Hi Paige

Sounds a lot like loneliness and overwhelm, to be honest. And that's not a nice combi.

Ask your specialist to put you in touch with others of your age who also have diabetes.
There may be a teen branch of a local association, and it might be interesting to swap stories with other people.
(These guys might be able to help too: https://www.diabetes.org.uk/guide-to-diabetes/young-adults . Maybe explain your situation to them, and see what they suggest.)

Also, it might be interesting to make a list of famous and interesting people with diabetes (e.g. Anne 'Interview with a Vampire' Rice, George Lucas, . . . ), as these people are "your tribe", and it helps to know that there's others out in the wider world who also have to deal with your condition. (You've already established that there's people out there who have absolutely no idea about the condition.)

I'm in my fifties and 'got' diabetes two years ago. Doctors appointment in the morning, insulin by lunchtime. I knew nothing about the condition. I still don't, really.

But, one thing I do know, and that is that the people working in hospital are seldom judgmental.
And, if they are, you just tell them. "When you say ___ , it makes me feel ___ . Please stop it. I would prefer that you ___ .", and then tell them.

And cut yourself some slack. There's lots of things that 13 year olds have to deal with that 11 year olds haven't even started to worry about. So, focus on looking to the future, rather than measuring yourself against your 11 year old self and finding yourself inadequate.

Good luck
- Rusty
 
Hi @paig3robinsonx I wish there was some way it could be taken away from you, maybe one day it will. The point here is that whilst you live with type 1 you have to look after yourself and be a little kinder to yourself, you don't deserve it, no one does, but it's a condition that's cruel and unkind if you don't take care of it. It's also easy to think that if you ignore it or are angry/upset and don't look after yourself as a result, that it will have awful consequences later on.

Trying to find some peace with it at a time when your body is going through alot of changes is also hard to deal with, so talking to someone and getting some support is vital for you, coming here to talk about it is great, just see if you can speak to someone in your team and see if you can get support ?

No one is going to judge you, as no one knows what it's like for you to live with, those we fear most don't have type 1, so in this respect they are clueless. I was once upon a time embarrassed by it, didn't inject in public, didn't want to talk about it, was afraid of being judged too, but once i'd done my first injection in public and no one noticed I felt more confident, now here I am talking about t1 all day long, you will get over your fear once you embrace your type 1. There are many famous people with t1, getting on with life, dealing with their diabetes, you can too, have faith in yourself and take it one day at a time, you will grow and flourish with life but don't let your t1 hold you back x
 
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