How do yo cope

Crystalwand · Oct 10, 2017

I also have had all the above happen to me, I was even told by a d nurse she felt sorry for me, well that was it, I just said do you have tests done every six months, or even eat healthy, looking at her the answers would be no, so I am sorry for you and walked out, find your voice, get your needles and pens out in front of them, it really don't matter if they believe you or not, you are end of story, after 40 years + I still have the comments, but it is fun shutting them down, when you walk away change your friends dear please

charliebarker · Oct 10, 2017

MikeTurin said:
Unfortunately in most case are relatives.
And anyway it's a difficult thing, you can easily spot ass-holes, but for well-meaning people that are ignorant about diabetes its a difficult thing: Remember that people is hammered with advertising that promotes as healthy sugary drinks, refined starchy foods, heavily processed foods with preservatives and added flavours. Even the healthy options are actually less healthy than "regular food". Case in point plain yoghurt vs skimmed lactose free fruit-flavoured one.

Find people in your life who want to understand and spend more time with THEM! And then try and educate your family on the condition - if they are really well-meaning they'll want to understand and if not dump 'em ! ( Even if they are related to you by a random set of genes!)

MikeTurin · Oct 10, 2017

charliebarker said:
Find people in your life who want to understand and spend more time with THEM!

Unfortunately I've experienced that is curve ball, because you have to explain to them the problems you have, but at the end Mums Know Best ;-) Epecially if they are watching a lot of TV https://www.bbc.co.uk/search?q=diabetes

rolypolypudding · Oct 10, 2017

Nicolii said:
Is anyone else out there struggling socially in relation to their diabetes? Like my own family members are fine with it but almost everyone else out there makes fun of me due to my dietary requirements. Some ppl make fun of me cos I always order a salad or steamed veges as my main meal. They act like I'm super strict with my meals like I'm depriving myself cos they're all eating high carb meals. I get criticism everywhere. Ppl will say things like -
I don't believe you have diabetes, you just want to be skinny.
If you have this ice cream you won't put any weight on.
And why do you need to lose weight?
Carbs are very important. You're not eating any. You are depriving yourself.
I'm worried about your eating, you don't eat enough carbs, here's a chocolate cake.
And why don't you eat chips? Are you special or something.
You won't catch a disease if you have a chip.
I don't understand why ppl diet (whilst looking at me).
You know that salad dressing has more calories than this pasta?
Why can't you eat ice Cream?
That's ok, we can eat our food it's her loss, she's missing out on this food, snob.

When I say I have diabetes problems/sugar problems they don't believe me. Then many ppl will deliberately shove food on my plate cos they can't handle my healthy eating. They see me as a disease cos I can't eat the same as them. They won't accept my explanation of my health condition. They just label me as a health freak snob and then I'm outcast. It happens with almost everyone. I can no longer eat out. Some ppl whisper to each other and say I'm extreme and dumb. Others just roll their eyes and laugh. So far I haven't met anyone who accepts my condition and it makes me feel terrible.

rolypolypudding · Oct 10, 2017

They're probably just jealous because you have got a grip and are successfully managing your health issue. You probably need to be more assertive with this bunch of jokers, and dump the unwanted food back on their plates.
BTW, I could be jealous of you myself as I have BMI of 36.8 and am going nowhere with my lifestyle improvements. Absolutely zilch motivation.
But jealousy takes up too much mental energy lol, so I prefer to sit back and admire - and hope that some of your motivation rubs off on me.

Phuppetty_ · Oct 10, 2017

Nicolii said:
Is anyone else out there struggling socially in relation to their diabetes? Like my own family members are fine with it but almost everyone else out there makes fun of me due to my dietary requirements. Some ppl make fun of me cos I always order a salad or steamed veges as my main meal. They act like I'm super strict with my meals like I'm depriving myself cos they're all eating high carb meals. I get criticism everywhere. Ppl will say things like -
I don't believe you have diabetes, you just want to be skinny.
If you have this ice cream you won't put any weight on.
And why do you need to lose weight?
Carbs are very important. You're not eating any. You are depriving yourself.
I'm worried about your eating, you don't eat enough carbs, here's a chocolate cake.
And why don't you eat chips? Are you special or something.
You won't catch a disease if you have a chip.
I don't understand why ppl diet (whilst looking at me).
You know that salad dressing has more calories than this pasta?
Why can't you eat ice Cream?
That's ok, we can eat our food it's her loss, she's missing out on this food, snob.

When I say I have diabetes problems/sugar problems they don't believe me. Then many ppl will deliberately shove food on my plate cos they can't handle my healthy eating. They see me as a disease cos I can't eat the same as them. They won't accept my explanation of my health condition. They just label me as a health freak snob and then I'm outcast. It happens with almost everyone. I can no longer eat out. Some ppl whisper to each other and say I'm extreme and dumb. Others just roll their eyes and laugh. So far I haven't met anyone who accepts my condition and it makes me feel terrible.

I think I’d be looking for new friends if mine behaved like that towards me!

Nicolii · Oct 11, 2017

rolypolypudding said:
They're probably just jealous because you have got a grip and are successfully managing your health issue. You probably need to be more assertive with this bunch of jokers, and dump the unwanted food back on their plates.
BTW, I could be jealous of you myself as I have BMI of 36.8 and am going nowhere with my lifestyle improvements. Absolutely zilch motivation.
But jealousy takes up too much mental energy lol, so I prefer to sit back and admire - and hope that some of your motivation rubs off on me.

Thank you. Yes I noticed ppl were mean whenever I was on top of my lifestyle and eating and weight. Then when they irritated me enough to the point of totally losing control I put on loads of weight and the very same ppl are laughing st me. I think I learnt my lesson here. None of them really care about my health. They are trying to sabotage me when I'm doing well so they can feel better about themselves. But far out it's annoying.

Nicolii · Oct 11, 2017

JoKalsbeek said:
I come from the south of Holland, where food equals love. So it took a while to make my family (and inlaws up north, but it was different) understand why and how I eat the way I do. I wrote a little guide with do's and don'ts, the why's and hows, and sent it out. And once I made a mistake while eating out, so when I felt ill because my bs shot up, they could actually see first hand how carbs f me up. I mention foods etc regularly on facebook, so they're used to it and I sneak some education in. I still get comments from time to time, but not from the people who matter. (They ask questions out of interest though, and these are welcome) My standard reply when someone's being an ass is, it's either this, or shooting insulin. Most of them hate needles, so they take the point. I've cried on my way home from a few parties and such, but f 'em... This is what I need to do for me, and it works. Even with 5 weeks of prednisone my hba1c was beautiful, so it's worth it. Maybe it's time for you to find or start a low-carb support group in your area? You're obviously not alone. Getting some friends who get it might help.

Yeah I grew up with just my mum, brother, and dad. Food was put on the table. I didn't even know we were eating healthy until now as an adult I can see my mum coincidentally fed me perfectly healthy. I was never ever forced to eat more or expected to eat food offered from ppl until I became an adult and found this was a huge problem not only n social situations but family as well. I actually HATE this attitude that man cultures have developed where ppl get offended if you don't eat their food. It's a silly mentality. Ppl should be free to eat whatever they want and not feel guilty for not eating every serving from every person offering food.

Nicolii · Oct 11, 2017

Crystalwand said:
I also have had all the above happen to me, I was even told by a d nurse she felt sorry for me, well that was it, I just said do you have tests done every six months, or even eat healthy, looking at her the answers would be no, so I am sorry for you and walked out, find your voice, get your needles and pens out in front of them, it really don't matter if they believe you or not, you are end of story, after 40 years + I still have the comments, but it is fun shutting them down, when you walk away change your friends dear please

Yeah but even if I do this I either get perceived as a disease or I get ppl telling me how happy they are not diabetic like me cos it looks like a pain. To which I could reply - but you haven't got it YET, as someone here already advised.

Crystalwand · Oct 11, 2017

But are they really happy, you are a diabetic and that you can't change but please change your friend I know it not easy and sometimes, you just want to hide and scream and cry, but things do get better. It like people on Facebook with all the pictures they put up, places they have been to looks great and you wish your life was like that, but you must remember, that is only a snap shot of they loved A side, what about the B side nothing is what it seems, live for you not others, I am 53 now and I wish someone had said this to me, but you can't change the past it gone, you can change your future thinking of you you can do it remember A side, B side

How do yo cope

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