How do yo cope

[Nicolii]

Why do they think you are not telling the truth?

They also tell me it's difficult for them to believe because they eat whatever they want and don't have diabetes.

 

[bulkbiker]

They also tell me it's difficult for them to believe because they eat whatever they want and don't have diabetes.

To which you should add YET!

 

[MikeTurin]

They also tell me it's difficult for them to believe because they eat whatever they want and don't have diabetes.

They don't know they have diabetes. Ask them what wat shwe last FBG, HBa1c, AST/ALT, HDL/LDL, and their Systolic and diastolic pressure values, and how was their last ECG.

Wait for the answers. Especially for Cholesterol and glicated hemoglobin, and wait for the answers.
Doesn't work for relatives, unfortunately.

 

[Sean01]

Problem is two fold - one is that this kind of people is people you can't avoid like parents and relatives, or coworkers.
The other problem is that for a lot of people, like me, to following a diet implies to use tricks like don't having at home pasta and rice or sweets, use homemade salads to eat at work instead to go in a a canteen, to better control cravings and so on.

If Aunt Minnie prepares a big cake and gives you one big slice it's hard to resist sometimes or worse if you go to eat with your parents mum insist to put and prepare a lot of different dishes and prepares some "FOR YOU" and gets upset when you are eating it - is a problem.

If you had lung cancer and your aunt gave you a cigarette?????

Here's how I deal with the problem
Mum - I can't eat that. I wont eat that. It will kill me. (I take my own food)
Mother in law ( a vegetarian) - I can't eat that. I wont eat that. It will kill me ( I take my own food).

If we go to eat at any friend or relative's house, we explain that I can only eat certain things and that I am happy to bring my own food with me. I even eat at certain times - if it does not fit, then carry on and I will eat separately.

When people come to my house to eat: we have normal food. I know how to cook potatoes, veg etc, but that does not mean I have to eat it. We had a pre Christmas dinner last year with friends - I'm the cook in the family. We have a roast beef dinner. The roast potatoes and veg were brilliant- so I was told. I had a big portion of spinach, green beans and brocolli with my roast beef whilst they ate the potatoes carrots and parsnips. As for dessert - they ate the mince pies and ice cream. i did not. No harm, no awkwardness - just a nice meal with friends.

Staff Christmas lunch - I have to draw the line somewhere - not a single thing on the menu I would want to eat and why would I want to watch 25 others eating roast potatoes in front of me??

We all deal with our diabetes differently based on our own personalities.
(PS My mum and mother in law still love me)
Sean

 

[Guzzler]

One sure fire way to prove. Take a couple of them with you next time you go for your annual review with your DN.

 

[Nicolii]

If you had lung cancer and your aunt gave you a cigarette?????

Here's how I deal with the problem
Mum - I can't eat that. I wont eat that. It will kill me. (I take my own food)
Mother in law ( a vegetarian) - I can't eat that. I wont eat that. It will kill me ( I take my own food).

If we go to eat at any friend or relative's house, we explain that I can only eat certain things and that I am happy to bring my own food with me. I even eat at certain times - if it does not fit, then carry on and I will eat separately.

When people come to my house to eat: we have normal food. I know how to cook potatoes, veg etc, but that does not mean I have to eat it. We had a pre Christmas dinner last year with friends - I'm the cook in the family. We have a roast beef dinner. The roast potatoes and veg were brilliant- so I was told. I had a big portion of spinach, green beans and brocolli with my roast beef whilst they ate the potatoes carrots and parsnips. As for dessert - they ate the mince pies and ice cream. i did not. No harm, no awkwardness - just a nice meal with friends.

Staff Christmas lunch - I have to draw the line somewhere - not a single thing on the menu I would want to eat and why would I want to watch 25 others eating roast potatoes in front of me??

We all deal with our diabetes differently based on our own personalities.
(PS My mum and mother in law still love me)
Sean

Ok so after reading this I realise I have very difficult ppl in my life who are oppositional and perhaps it doesn't have to do with my condition at all.

 

[Buttons11]

Generally my friends seem quite accepting of my "strange" dietary requirements.
My mother in law has been type 2 diabetic for 40 years, and of course she thinks she knows it all. But she has been insulin dependent as long as I've known her (nearly 20 years). She lives about 200 miles away, so when we go and see her we have to stay a few nights. When I was first diagnosed and started low carbing, she kept telling me "but you can have a few potatoes" (or whatever). I got round this by saying I wouldn't have any while I was trying to get my sugars down but I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this up. I take my own yoghurt and fruit for breakfast, and last time I made a butternut squash lasagne ("to save her cooking"!) which she enjoyed.
What I have to avoid is saying, I don't want bread/pasta/potatoes because I don't want to end up on insulin like you! (Having said that I'm really lucky that she is generally a really nice MIL )

 

[VioletViolet]

Is anyone else out there struggling socially in relation to their diabetes? Like my own family members are fine with it but almost everyone else out there makes fun of me due to my dietary requirements. Some ppl make fun of me cos I always order a salad or steamed veges as my main meal. They act like I'm super strict with my meals like I'm depriving myself cos they're all eating high carb meals. I get criticism everywhere. Ppl will say things like -
I don't believe you have diabetes, you just want to be skinny.
If you have this ice cream you won't put any weight on.
And why do you need to lose weight?
Carbs are very important. You're not eating any. You are depriving yourself.
I'm worried about your eating, you don't eat enough carbs, here's a chocolate cake.
And why don't you eat chips? Are you special or something.
You won't catch a disease if you have a chip.
I don't understand why ppl diet (whilst looking at me).
You know that salad dressing has more calories than this pasta?
Why can't you eat ice Cream?
That's ok, we can eat our food it's her loss, she's missing out on this food, snob.

When I say I have diabetes problems/sugar problems they don't believe me. Then many ppl will deliberately shove food on my plate cos they can't handle my healthy eating. They see me as a disease cos I can't eat the same as them. They won't accept my explanation of my health condition. They just label me as a health freak snob and then I'm outcast. It happens with almost everyone. I can no longer eat out. Some ppl whisper to each other and say I'm extreme and dumb. Others just roll their eyes and laugh. So far I haven't met anyone who accepts my condition and it makes me feel terrible.

I think there are some folk (family especially) who cannot cope when you make any changes to your life that dont fit their perception of you. Climb out of your prescribed family role at your peril!!!

In my experience its friends/family who struggle with their own weight, poor eating habits and want to see others eating like them! Being healthy exposes their greed in their eyes. People can be such manipulative feeders.

I read a very good book recently, very sweary but if youre prone to people pleasing it's a great read. The life changing magic of not giving a .... By Sarah Knight.

Do what you need to do for your own health and stuff everyone's opinion x

 

[13lizanne]

You must be the luckiest person alive. I've struggled with ****** remarks for the last 16 years.

I'm so sorry to hear that, why on earth would people who care for you be so mean? I hope that you find at least one kind person to support you in your daily life - and you know that we fellow diabetics on this forum care very much about your health and wellbeing. Perhaps you could find a way to smile and say no thank-you or ignore these comments by reminding yourself that you are doing everything possible to keep yourself well? Whatever you do, the very best of good luck to you

 

[Grumpy ole thing]

Unfortunately for me these ppl are smart asses who think they have facts in opposition to me. So I don't bother.

do you like these people?

 

[Nicolii]

I'm so sorry to hear that, why on earth would people who care for you be so mean? I hope that you find at least one kind person to support you in your daily life - and you know that we fellow diabetics on this forum care very much about your health and wellbeing. Perhaps you could find a way to smile and say no thank-you or ignore these comments by reminding yourself that you are doing everything possible to keep yourself well? Whatever you do, the very best of good luck to you

T

I'm so sorry to hear that, why on earth would people who care for you be so mean? I hope that you find at least one kind person to support you in your daily life - and you know that we fellow diabetics on this forum care very much about your health and wellbeing. Perhaps you could find a way to smile and say no thank-you or ignore these comments by reminding yourself that you are doing everything possible to keep yourself well? Whatever you do, the very best of good luck to you

Those ppl don't care at all. It didn't matter how many times I told them my dietary needs they ignored it. Then when I brought my own food they got offended. So I'm very happy you ppl on this forum care. I'm happy I can refer to this thread in the future. Thank you.

 

[Nicolii]

do you like these people?

I can't stand them but there's so many I never seem to escape theme. Here's hoping for better days ahead.

 

[Grumpy ole thing]

I can't stand them but there's so many I never seem to escape theme. Here's hoping for better days ahead.

can you pick out one of them who may be on your side? perhaps one of the quieter ones? you might be able to start breaking down the group? start with just one x

 

[Nicolii]

can you pick out one of them who may be on your side? perhaps one of the quieter ones? you might be able to start breaking down the group? start with just one x

Thanks for the suggestion but I am outnumbered. I'd have better luck hanging out with different ppl if I can. I'm more forced to see these ppl and same with ppl from past. At least when I was younger I always managed to find someone who was healthy like me but these days with my husbands large family they are traditional ethnic eaters who are too proud of their food culture to accept anything different. So it's more social issue I have to get out of.

 

[Nicolii]

O

Thanks for the suggestion but I am outnumbered. I'd have better luck hanging out with different ppl if I can. I'm more forced to see these ppl and same with ppl from past. At least when I was younger I always managed to find someone who was healthy like me but these days with my husbands large family they are traditional ethnic eaters who are too proud of their food culture to accept anything different. So it's more social issue I have to get out of.

Oh yeah I renmember once I did bring another healthy girl into the conversation but then the target changed to me again which makes me realise it's more personal so I'll just find better ppl.

 

[MikeTurin]

If you had lung cancer and your aunt gave you a cigarette?????

Because smoking is different.
You have to resist craving but smoking/not smoking is a clear thing. You don't lit coffin nails - you don't smoke.
Normally it's also easy to call them ashtray, chimmeys, or mocking them if they're coughing, if are smartasses or fill them with booket on quit smoking.
I never done it but

sometimes I've thinked about it...


On food the problem is that information is more wide, and of course you have to eat something, and eating does not have the social stigma of an addiction like smoking.

The food cravings mechanics are a natural survival mechanism, that doens't work well if one is under a weight loss diet or a diet
[/QUOTE]

 

[Nicolii]

I will note that I never had problems with ppl commenting on my eating up to the age of 18. It was only from this age onwards when I started getting diabetic signs and changed my diet that it attracted a lot of negative attention.

 

[Mr_Pot]

On food the problem is that information is more wide, and of course you have to eat something, and eating does not have the social stigma of an addiction like smoking.

Maybe one day we will see people standing outside restaurants in a special shelter eating their carbs.

 

[VioletViolet]

I will note that I never had problems with ppl commenting on my eating up to the age of 18. It was only from this age onwards when I started getting diabetic signs and changed my diet that it attracted a lot of negative attention.

Some people really don't like it when you no longer conform to their idea of what or who you should be.

Carry on doing what you need to do and bring the things you need to eat , try and stay calm and friendly in the face of any hostility and they might stop the teasing/commenting. More importantly avoid any of these social events of this nature that you can. I am a big believer in living the life you want to live, and this is chipping away at your well being. Bullying types simply don't deserve your company !

 

[Grumpy ole thing]

You shouldn't need a reason, if you choose not to eat carbs should shouldn't need to justify it. You might choose not to eat a particular brand, or you might choose not to eat meat. Thing is its your choice. If you did have a problem with food its no good anyone ripping into you about it. Personally...well...im a grumpy moo and I like to think I wouldn't stand for it, but in reality it just isn't easy. I really hope you can find some better friends or the strength to stand up to these idiots, take care xx