• Guest - w'd love to know what you think about the forum! Take the 2025 Survey »

Husband newly diagnosed but not listening

D

Daisy1234

Member
Messages
12
Type of diabetes
Don't have diabetes
Treatment type
I do not have diabetes
Hi all,
My husband (62) was diagnosed with Type 2 in August last year. I think he does understand some of it, but not how serious this is. He has some memory issues from a previous illness so I get that he doesn't remember everything that's said.
My problem is with diet. He's a man who likes what he likes and is reluctant to change. I do all the cooking, shopping, meal planning but if he has to do it for any reason, he'll buy/cook the wrong things. His idea of "every now & again" is too often.
I'm at my wits end and really want a face to face with a nutritionist but getting no joy from our GP surgery. Even trying to get in with the diabetic nurse is a long wait.
We are eating healthily most of the time using a low carb diet, but it's the fact that he wouldn't make those choices if it wasn't for me is what I need to get through to him. I need to know what healthy alternatives are for things like bread, chocolate, sweet things that doesn't involve fruit or nuts as he eats plenty of that during the day. I need educating too. It doesn't help that I have a sweet tooth.
I feel like giving up and just letting him have what he wants. Please help! Thanks.
 
Hi Daisy1234 and welcome to the forums.

There are a number of ideas that might help you in the "low carb diet forum" if you scroll down on the list of forums.

I've found that some of the low carb breads around are OK (watch out for the stuff in supermarkets that claims to be low-carb, but really isn't). The big downside is that the things with (eg) 3g carb/roll are expensive and generally need to be bought online.

On the rare occasion when I need to make a pudding, I've used zero sugar jelly with strawberries, blackberries, or blueberries in it. Goes well with extra-thick cream.

Best of luck. This forum is a helpful and friendly place.
 
Thanks KennyA
We are limiting the use of bread and just have Wholemeal multi-seed if I do buy it. However, then he'll have a couple of slices maybe 2 days in a row. Not sure how good that is. Thanks for the tip about zero sugar jelly, I'd never thought of that.
I'm also unsure about how to read the carb info on packaging. What am I looking for? What should the carbs be less than? Is is per 100g? Is it the carbs that sugar i should be checking? It's all so confusing and it's me that's doing it all.
Thanks.
 
@Daisy1234 you need to look at the total carbs rather than just sugar content , as both can raise glucose levels. And consider not just the carbs per 100g, but how many carbs there could be in your actual portion size.

High cocoa % dark chocolate (e.g. over 70%) is actually good for you in moderation, so try that to start with as the higher content bars can sometimes be an acquired taste.

Look at using stevia and/or erythritol for sweetening as they don't get absorbed by your body, so shouldn't affect glucose levels
 
Thanks, I have difficulties with numbers. So, what's the kind of figure that I should be looking for with regard to carbs per 100g (for a start)? And on the packets, just underneath carbs, it has figures for "carbs of which sugars", which one should I be looking at? Which is the most important line to start with? Thanks.
 
Daisy: the labels can be confusing, and because how they label food in the USA is different to how it's done here some of the things you read on the internet and on food labels may mislead. There are some carbs and sugars which manufacturers include under alternative names that make you think they're OK, and my tendency is therefore to avoid packaged and processed food where I can.

I'm assuming that you're intending to achieve a reduction in your husband's blood glucose, and lowering this is often accompanied by weight loss. What was his HbA1c level last time? If he's comparatively low you could achieve a lot very quickly.

Normal bread, whether wholemeal or not, is carb-heavy. Some people report that wholemeal, having a higher GI, is absorbed more slowly by their bodies and therefore their blood glucose levels don't rise as much, although they might stay higher longer. I don't find that GI makes any difference to me, but we all have different experiences.

It also depends what level of overall carb intake you're looking for. "Low-carb" is generally thought of as being less than around 150 or 130 g - there's no exact definition. "Keto" is around 20g carb/day (which is what I aim for) although some people can maintain ketosis on 50g.

The contrast is with the NHS' "Eatwell" plate which is very carb-heavy and if memory serves suggests +300g carbs/day. They certainly suggest that we should base our meals on potatoes, bread, rice, or pasta, all of which are very high in carbs and don't these days feature in my eating at all.

A slice of bread is about 9 or 10 grams of carbohydrate usually. Half a bap/breadcake/roll, maybe 20g. So no good if you're aiming for keto levels but maybe OK if it's two slices a day and you're looking at 130-150 total. Obviously it depends as well on what else he eats that day.

Looking at the levels overall you need to keep a couple of things in mind. One is the "carbs per 100g" level. If say a particular food is 5g carbs per 100g of the food, that's fine in percentage terms. But you need to remember that if you eat 400g of the food, you've taken in 20g carbs. The other side is that I find it's OK to have something that is a bit higher in carb if you only have a small amount, and not very often. So I have a lime pickle with my curries that is about 12% carb - which is OK for me because I only have a teaspoon's worth, around 10g, total intake maybe 1.5g carbs max.

I think you should ignore anything on a label that says "of which sugars" - all carbohydrate turns to glucose once digested and the total carb content is what you're looking for - so both sugars and carbohydrate.

The dietdoctor website (https://www.dietdoctor.com/) is very helpful, as is the low-carb diet forum on here. I checked just now and there are probably a dozen recipes for low carb breads in both places, as well as a lot of other things.

Keep asking questions if you need to. I asked a lot on here after I was diagnosed and it helped me enormously.
 
Thank you, that's really helpful. We are not going for any set numbers of carbs, just healthy eating and lower carb versions (ie, less bread, no potatoes, rice, etc).
His level last time was 47, which is just at the threshold. His one before was 48 which kickstarted everything and he was put on the lowest dose of Metformin. So, not sure if it's diet or pills that brought it down on the last test. So, I know it's not high but he does need to lose the weight and anything we can do will help. The info you've given me about the labels is really useful and will help when shopping and trying to explain what's what. The difficulty we are having is the "now & again" is too frequent for my liking but I can't get it through to him. I will persevere! thanks.
 
Happy to help. Best of luck and just ask if there's anything you want to know more about.
 
Daisy1234 said:
The difficulty we are having is the "now & again" is too frequent for my liking but I can't get it through to him.
Click to expand...
Try not to get too frustrated with your husband @Daisy1234 , it's not easy to come to terms with having to restrict foods that you have eaten and enjoyed your whole life.
After all, if we have an extra sandwich or a few more biscuits than we should, we don't immediately feel ill or keel over, you can't see the damage that those extra carbs are doing.
That's why many of us use a glucose meter to test before and after our meals. When you can see the evidence of what your food choices are doing to your blood sugar levels, that cereal and banana or wholemeal toast with a little jam or marmalade you had for breakfast, suddenly doesn't seem so innocent.
 
Thanks, yes, I do understand that it must be very difficult. Perhaps I need to get a meter thingy so that he can see for himself.
 
Daisy1234 said:
Thanks, yes, I do understand that it must be very difficult. Perhaps I need to get a meter thingy so that he can see for himself.
Click to expand...

I think it is really worth considering. As type 2 diabetes can often have no noticeable symptoms seeing the readings might well help. I find seeing the blood glucose readings is effective in keeping me from becoming complacent.

The third post down in the following thread has info on meters and links to suppliers:

Paying for test strips unfair if you've been told to self monitor.

This is an absolute DISGRACE, I have just been told that I will not be able to get my test strips on prescription when I have been told to monitor my blood glucose levels. I am planning of putting a complaint into the General Medical Council, Care Quality Commission, Royal Collage of Nursing...
www.diabetes.co.uk

To give you an idea of cost a couple of weeks ago I bought the Gluco Navii mentioned in that thread, using the discount code specified in the thread, and for £37 got meter + 10 strips plus 250 strips. Typically, you'd do a test reading before a meal and then 2 hours after to see the effect on blood sugar. So for the outlay of £37 it would be probably enough to see if is a way to demonstrate the effect of some of things your husband is eating. It is a good idea to note down what was eaten and the readings as you can then refer back.
 
Having lived with type 1 for most of my life i often think and feel that the later in life we get a diagnosis of a chronic type illness the harder it can be to come to terms with.. being diagnosed as type 2 at 61 years of age is a huge thing mentally to come to terms with and perhaps some support mentally and peer support might be of use. this forum is a great starting point ...... definitely press your GP surgery and keep talking on here ..all the best xx
 
@Daisy1234 it might be that he baulks at the idea of finger prick tests initially. Might be worth getting him a free 2 week trial of soemthing called the libre. This is a little disc that sits on the back of his arm and several times a day he (or you) wave a smart phone over it and it shows what his blood sugar is.
Don't bother changing his diet while he wears it. The idea is to show him how high certain foods raise his bg.
Seeing it is what helps us realise how bad certain food are, and therefore get the motivation to change what we eat.

Be aware, after the free trial, sensors cost £50 for 2 weeks, so at that point he can go to finger pricking which is much cheaper.
 
Thanks, I have ordered a finger prick doodah today, used a code that was suggested so got a decent price. Think he needs to see the results and I think we'll be doing it for a while so may as well start this way.
 
Maybe have a look at the 'lowcarblondoner' website as there are so many useful recipes there. I have a mixer these days - I tried using a bead maker but it is too hard on the risen dough and so it collapses after the second kneading, but the mixer seems to be the thing, as it can be adjusted to the right level of effort it puts in.
I use a food processor to make mashed swede, a variety of big knives to chop cauliflower and other veges so as to get them to the right size, and to mix eggs and cheese to make chaffles - cheese waffles - which are really useful for folding around foods.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Menu
Log in
Register
Cookies are required to use this site. You must accept them to continue using the site. Learn More.…