I didn't read all responses here, but I thought I'd share a little of my experiences.
I'm a T1 diabetic since the age of 12. Around the age of 16 or so, I started to rebel against my diabetes. I felt my life had been restricted in so many ways by my disease. People blamed me for being diabetic (though I'd done nothing to contract the disease) and my school counselor told me I shouldn't tell people I was diabetic (because they'd think badly of me). People always shared some horror story with me when I told them what I had. ("My [mother, father, brother, sister, etc., fill in the blank] had diabetes and they didn't take care of themselves and they lost their [foot, eyesight, kidneys, life, etc., fill in the blank].")
During that time, I decided that testing my blood did not control my diabetes - which is true. The actual test tells you your level, but in and of itself, it doesn't make your level go up or down. I got really good at telling when my blood sugar dropped below 80 (I'm in the US) and when it was WAY too high, but most other times, I just didn't know.
I have some problems (neuropathy, retinopathy, Charcot foot) but I always thought these were just what happened to diabetics. I know now that I may have avoided some of this earlier on by taking control.
The problem is that you really grieve for the loss of freedom in your life and tend to rebel against it. Experts have recently identified this as "diabetic grief cycle." The period of grief can last for months to years to decades depending on the patient, the help they get, and their own determination to stay alive. And this cycle is very natural; it follows the same stages as the Kübler-Ross grief cycle phases: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Accepting is when you stop trying to change the reality to make it fit your expectations, accept the change and begin taking care of it.
As his wife, there may be little you can do to help him through this grief other than recognize that it is a natural process and support any positive step he makes towards care. Some suggest diabetic support groups - they didn't work for me. I instead was able to go to work at a summer camp specifically for people with diabetes (not diabetics - because we are so much more than our disease!) and that helped me find that I'm just like everyone else. You might have blue eyes; I have diabetes.
I don't know if all this helps. You might try looking up the diabetic grief cycle and suggested treatments. If you have a friend with diabetes who has come to grips with their condition, you might want to introduce them to him. I know chances are slimmer with that. I feel it's vital to give him someone to understand what he's going through and to walk through the fire with him - even if it means changing YOUR diet and way of life, too.
Good luck.