• Guest - w'd love to know what you think about the forum! Take the 2025 Survey »

Hypo. Adult son being aggressive

C

cookiesmum

Member
Messages
8
Hi, I'm new to this forum.
My son who is 31 years old is staying with my. He is type 1. He manages his diabetes ok but now and again (after sports or alcohol) he has no warning hypos and can become very aggressive. He has just text me to say he had one in work. He played football last night and I wasn't at home to make him some food. He knows he has to alter his novomix on occasions like this. When he has hypos at home I give him glucogel, this works pretty quickly. My concerns are if he has aggressive hypo when outside on a night ect. What would happen? I have a fear that some one will beat him up or he will be arrested as he does become quite frightening. He has never hurt me but he is a 6' 2 tall and he hits himself in his head or he will throw things and punch the walls. He never remembers when he comes out of it and is always remorseful that he has frightened me. I feel so sorry for him but I have to pick the right time to talk to him about it. He lost his career in the Royal Navy when diagnosed, it took him so long to come to terms with the fact he has this bloody awful illness. My sister has type 1 and my eldest son has type 2, my grandad had type1. I'm so lucky I don't have it.
 
Hypos reduce one's inhibitions (similar to alcohol) so there's less resistance to anger coming out. However - I think we do have a certain amount of ability to control things.

Your son is roughly my age and I think he should start to take more responsibility for himself. It may sound a bit harsh but I think when you're 30, showing outward anger like this starts to become inexcusable.

I've been in similar situations in the not too distant past. At present I'm well aware how frightened and hurt my fiancee gets when I no longer have my faculties in tact and this has been a strong motivator for me to keep a handle on my emotions even when hypo.

If your son can recognise that he does need to take personal responsibility for himself then I personally feel this is half the battle won.

I hope things go well cookiesmum.

Ed
 
hya, ive strted to get slightly aggresive at times when hypo, plz mention the amount of hypos to his diabetic nurse as he may need a different type of insulin :)
 
totsy said:
hya, ive strted to get slightly aggresive at times when hypo, plz mention the amount of hypos to his diabetic nurse as he may need a different type of insulin :)
Click to expand...
Hi totsy, he has app to see his diabetic nurse tomorrow I will suggest he talks to her about trying different insulin. What is worrying me is that he says, he does not remember anything that has happened while he is hypoing, I don't know if this is normal. x
 
alaska said:
Hypos reduce one's inhibitions (similar to alcohol) so there's less resistance to anger coming out. However - I think we do have a certain amount of ability to control things.

Your son is roughly my age and I think he should start to take more responsibility for himself. It may sound a bit harsh but I think when you're 30, showing outward anger like this starts to become inexcusable.

I've been in similar situations in the not too distant past. At present I'm well aware how frightened and hurt my fiancee gets when I no longer have my faculties in tact and this has been a strong motivator for me to keep a handle on my emotions even when hypo.

If your son can recognise that he does need to take personal responsibility for himself then I personally feel this is half the battle won.

I hope things go well cookiesmum.



Ed
Click to expand...

Thanks Ed, I feel he needs to do something if he can. People will not put up with it like I do.I do not have diabetes, so I have no knowledge of how it feels, or how or if this can be controlled by him. He is usually such a nice lad, but he did take along time to come to terms with his diabetes.He does get angry if I try to talk to him. Maybe I will try and get him to come onto this forum, he might listen to people of his own age. He thinks I'm just a fussing mum x
 
What is worrying me is that he says, he does not remember anything that has happened while he is hypoing, I don't know if this is normal.
Click to expand...

I've had instances of this. When on the phone for a long time, sometimes I've become low and had to be told afterwards that I was saying certain as I didn't completely remember what I was saying.

It's quite embarrassing and you know you can't turn back time and unsay things.

There's two ways I can see to combat things.

1. Be strong. when it's happening say you'll talk to him but first he must do a do a test.

2. At a good time for both him and you, let him know how you see things and how it makes you feel.
Be factual but don't exaggerate anything
Be aware that we are embarrassed about what we say
Try to get across that he does need to take personal responsibility for how is he is when he is hypo

I'm no expert, but I think these would work with me.

On the whole, a hypo mustn't be become an excuse for things.

It is possible to get a grip of things. It just takes time, willingness and a bit of determination. Once I was able to convince myself that certain things weren't acceptable, it got a lot easier to get a sense of self control back.
 
Thought I had replied..but it got lost!

I have had episodes ofthis, but only when asleep, adn I wake up, or get woken up, and I can be very unpleasnat!
The reason it doesn't happen suring the day is that I recognise hypos, and treat them long before they get to this stage.

Not sure if this is the case for your son, but usually, there are outward signs that something is not right. i don't go from happy and genial to rage in an instanst. there is whole range of being slightly beligerent, to awkward before that. It is obvious to others. It doesn't get this far very often, but ither people can tell something is up. Could you get him to speak to his friends, so they can keep an eye on him. I am not suggesting that they "mother him" (that is your job :) ) but if they notice him getting a bit stressy, say soemting are you Ok, shall I get you a coke? There is nothing like being nagged, especially when you are low, so making it seem more "normal" works for me. Not happy if hubby suggest that I need to test my blood, but recognise, that if he offer me a biscuit, it might be a good idea..and it is les embarrassing too.

just my thoughts,

Good luck!
 
Having no recolection of what you do while hypo seems to be very normal...

alaska - I am wondering if you are not aware though how on earth you can control aggressive behaviour??? the only time i have had hypo awareness in my life was when i was pregnant, and i have been diabetic 23 years diagnosed when i was 4, and i unfortuantely have been known to get aggressive, although a petit 5ft3 attacking a copper still causes my family to laugh... :lol:

sugar I have to agree with you with speaking to collegues and friends :) although im going to have to tell my hubby that 1 about maybe offering me a biccy rather than asking me to test my blood!!! i might stress out at him less!!! :)
 
Thanks for your replies. I think the problem is he is getting hypos without much warning. If he is home I usually hear him , if he's in another room it's like a high pitched noise (aniamal like) I know if I hear that we're in for a nasty one. If he is past being coherent, (he's usually soaking wet with sweat by now) I get his bs monitor and test him. last time it was 1.2. I got the glucogel in him. He takes about 10-15mins to come out of it. Last time it happened he went and sat in the bathroom until he was back with us. But today it happened in work and his boss was frightened by him. I left his boss a message to get back to me if he wanted to talk to me about it. He hasn't done so yet. I suppose it worries me more than it seems to worry him, he came home from work tonight only had a small meal as he was straight out to play football. If he put as much energy into looking after his condition as he does with his footy things might be alright haha xx
 
Hi,

Sorry to hear this - I'm Type 1, so understand the issue. The first thing to say is that when your blood sugar drops one of the main responses of your body is to release adrenalin. This is what makes diabetics pale, sweaty and aggressive when having a hypo. It's nothing more or less than that.

The real issue here is your sons is using a very old fashioned and really useless insulin regime; he needs to switch to multiple daily injections to match insulin to carb intake, or to go on a pump. He also needs to take responsibility for his diabetes. It doesn't have to be like this.

One thing you can do is establish the rule that when ever someone in the family asks him to test his blood sugar he agrees to do so whatever he thinks his levels are. This ends arguments about being bolshy/hypo immediately.

Get him to join this forum as well!

Best

Dillinger
 
Dillinger said:
Hi,

Sorry to hear this - I'm Type 1, so understand the issue. The first thing to say is that when your blood sugar drops one of the main responses of your body is to release adrenalin. This is what makes diabetics pale, sweaty and aggressive when having a hypo. It's nothing more or less than that.

The real issue here is your sons is using a very old fashioned and really useless insulin regime; he needs to switch to multiple daily injections to match insulin to carb intake, or to go on a pump. He also needs to take responsibility for his diabetes. It doesn't have to be like this.

One thing you can do is establish the rule that when ever someone in the family asks him to test his blood sugar he agrees to do so whatever he thinks his levels are. This ends arguments about being bolshy/hypo immediately.

Get him to join this forum as well!

Best

Dillinger
Click to expand...
Thanks for that explanation, it will help me to understand whats going on. Have had a good talk to him tonight, he is seeing his nurse tomorrow. My sister is going to have the pump in a few weeks, so we are going to see how she gets along with it. He thinks he is having more hypos lately because he is doing a lot of sport/ exercise and eating less carbs He's given up smoking (14wks) His footy team has just been promoted so he needs to be fit. I told him to tell his nurse all of this so he will know how much to adjust his insulin.
Thanks again for your help xx
 
Hi Cookiesmum

Your son is on a really old-fashioned regime. When I used to be on a Novomix I had frequent hypos too. He is young and active and should really be on at least a basal/bolus regime or a pump.

Try and get him a referral to a diabetologist if he's not seeing one already. GPs and their nurses don't always know so much about T1 Diabetes and will leave you on a bad regime because they don't know any better (it took for me to see a consultant to get a better regime).

If sounds like your son could really benefit from doing a DAFNE couse as well. How often does he test his BS's at the moment? Could you check his meter?

Also a Diabetologist might be able to refer him to see a psychologist where he could discuss his feelings about losing his career - it sounds like maybe he still hasn't come to terms with it yet.
 
Thanks goji, I feel the biggest problem is that he hasn't come to terms with losing his career, he wont even talk to my sister (type1) or my older son (type2). It's like he forgets he has it until he has hypo or gets sick. He developed a nasty absess in his tooth the day after he hypo'd in work. has been on antibiotics and had the tooth out today. He says he's not feeling well, not much appetite. He did his bm he was 2.5. I gave him a banana and made him a small meal.
I think a other problem is that I don't properly understand the illness. I am so glad I found this forum I am learning a lot just by reading what others have posted. I think I tend to panic as the only story I had to go by was my grandad (type1) went to bed and never woke up again. It was one of those family secrets that you heard whispered about when you were a child. My son is thinking about the pump if he can get passed his nurse He says she's ****. I will tell him what you have said Or get him to read your posts. Thanks again x
 
Cookiesmum

I've not read all the repiles so I may repeat what's some have already said..

Sadly if he becomes aggressive during a hypo this isn't his fault it's just a reaction to a confuddled brain.. So what happens and what can be done..

I start with what happens when he's out, about and at work..

Work wise he needs to make other aware of this likely reaction, so if he shows signs of aggression they know what's it all about (he can't be disaplined for aggressive behaviour if it's hypo related) and they can treat or get help to him accordanlly..

If his colleague's feel that they can't clam him and treat him, when they call for the paramedic they need to ensure they tell control that he is diabetic, hypo and being aggressive.. so that attending paramedic's are aware of the situation before arrival.

Control centre may choose to send police back up, or they may leave it to the disgression of the attending paramedics.. whichever happens, the paramedic's will do their best to calm him enough to admister treatment to avoid police intevention, they police will do nothing unless assitence is directly requested by the paramedic, but will stay until given the all clear.. And paramedics won't ask they police to interven unless it's absolutely essentrial that they do..

What do the police do if they have to interven, well they will arrest him so that they can put handcuff on him, so that the paramedic can administer treatment, once the paramedic done this and your son's recovered enough to ensure no more as the paramedics will say 'combative' behaviour is apparent.. The police will remove the handcuff's and de-arrest him.. No action will be taken it doesn't even get written in the book..

The above prodcedure will also happen if the paramedic's are called out etc at other times..

when he's out about, he should try to carry some ID on him that say's he's a insulin depentant diabetic, he case it happens and he's arrested by an unsurspecting officer, so officer can get treatment for him, if he's arrested under these circumstance charges are dropped..

But he does need to work towards avoiding the situations though,

As you said he's got times that he knows he's more suspectable to suffering a hypo.. After football and after he's had a drink..

First thing he can do, is at these times of higher risk is to check his BG a lot more frequently so he has a better chance of picking up hypo's before they happen or become a problem,,

But also looking at his regime around these times to see if can pre-emptive the problem to avoid..

Both are cause by time lags..

For football he can look at reducing his insulin slighty to reduce the likely of low BG's later or it maybe better to a have some etc carbs or just protien to offset hypo's..

Drink wise, this happens because, while the alcohol is being processed by the liver it's not storing any glucose and once his backup store has depleted, then the background insulin he's injected will act/combine with the quick hes taken for food consumption.. The liver won't started filling it's store until all alochol has been processed, which for the adverage person you looking at around an hour for each unit of alcohol drunk (which like the drink drive law's it's impossible to tell, so might take longer)

This puts him in a perdictament, as if he's has a hypo a glucogen injection won't dump the glucose store into the blood stream to bring him out of an hypo..

Some things he can do, is if he's drinking is to cut his background insulin back slightly, not great as it really takes a couple of days to settle to the change, and then it may need to faff around with quick acting to stablise control.

So probably better after drinking high monitoring of BG's to catch a pre-hypo, and have a sandwhich/carbs before going to bed after a session.. To counter react the background insulin..

Hope this helps, and sorry if I repeated anything
 
Hello Cookiesmum

Regardless of what insulin regime people use - twice daily, MDI or an insulin pump, the best way to avoid hypos or rather lessen their severity, is to test bg levels more frequently - the mid morning and mid afternoon bg level will especially be an eye opener as your son will be able to use those readings to work out whether he needs to eat a carb snack. Unfortunately, sport exercise nearly always causes problems for us all, so it's worth your son doing a bg test while he is playing sport and to eat some sweets to sustain him. Could he not carry a tube of sugar coated fruit pastels in his shorts when playing football and suck one or two?

Unfortunately because Novomix is twice daily, unless your son is going to play sport mid morning or mid evening, reducing the insulin is not wise. It's better to just cover the sport by testing bg levels before and after and eating some carb or sucking some sweets.
 
Hi,jopar and iHs, thanks for taking the time to give me all this info. jopar thanks for telling me how the police deal with this situation, it's good to know these things. I feel that I can talk to him easier now I know a bit more about things. I have read medical books but they leave me baffled. It is so much better to talk to people who can explain things to a none medical person, if you know what I mean. iHs I will put some fruit pastles in his footy bag x
Thanks again x
 
Back
Top