I hate Diabetes!

[GlucoseKnight]

Hi There
I completely understand how you feel, I have had Diabetes T1 for 31 years and I have had ups and downs with my levels for years. I have had intermuscular injections because they went so high, have been in hospital a few times with very low sugars and my HBa1C have normally been around 11-13.
I went on the Daphne course (or something similar) and it was fantastic, I found I had to decrease my insulin intake and learning to count my Carbs correctly, makes a huge difference.
I have Diabetes Retinopathy, Necrobiosis Lipoidica Diabeticurum on both my legs and have recently been diagnosed with Gastroperisis so as you can imagine, I have had some challenges.
I used to be terrible at doing blood tests, i was luckily if I did a few a week but being on the Dafne course and speaking with other Diabetics, it changed the way I wanted to deal with it. I now do 4 -6 blood sugar tests a day and at the end of this month I am going on the Insulin pump.
I still have my off days and I ask myself every day why I have Diabetes and I am the only one in our family who has it but the facts are, I have it and the only person that can help me is myself.
This forum is fantastic for speaking to other Diabetics, gaining information and getting the support you need.
I wish you look in finding an inner calm with your Diabetes, take all the help you can from your Diabetic Team and use this forum to speak to other Diabetics, it sometimes helps.
Goodluck ..

 

[TheBoyCalledSam]

Hello

I understand why you hate diabetes I hate it aswel, I had to spend my 5th birthday in hospital. I was diagnosed on my 5th birthday. And my sugar levels run high alot and every time I go to the doctors they are telling me somthing different. So I think hey if I do somthing wrong and they stay high forever its because I havent beed told what to do. I dont think doctors without diabetes know what to do and what to tell people.

 

[sicko666]

Lol see the truth is out people do actually HATE the blinking disease and its really only a few who seem to actually not mind it!
I have had it since a baby and thats now knocking on for 36years ( and hated every year of it! ). I even was sent to a boarding school as a child were every carb was counted and they couldnt keep my levels balanced! The number of times i woke up in the sisters emergency bed or in a hospital well lets say i just didnt bother counting after a while....
At the moment i have to keep my sugars high because if i dont i can plumit like a stone and trigger an epileptic seizer. So i am stuck with a "you will have serious complications, blindness,liver,kidney,nervous system faliare if you dont lower your BG", or a "you will end up with paralysis,death,brain damage if you dont stop having seizures" lol!!!! "Damned if i do" or " Damned if i dont " sort of situation. I can understand completely your feelings towards diabetes...
All i can suggest though is you try to get lower levels, dont worry too much about getting "perfect" readings because by its very nature these will never be possible, but try to get the levels down as the complications are serious.Myself, my eyes are starting to go,i have nervous damage in both arms, and my liver levels are a bit high i have been told, but then again i havent got any choice.Pumps seem to be recommended by a lot of people (my needle phobia rules these out at the moment) so why not inquire your high levels might make your "care" team make one available sooner rather than later? The ability to continuously adjust your dosage might iron those levels out.Anyway good luck!

 

[Herbie72]

Hi!

I apologise now! As I realise this is intensely negative, but I really feel the need to vent, and have no other outlet, as don't like people feeling sorry for me so dont like to moan to family and friends! I think you guys will probably understand all of this!

I run high all the time, I have been diabetic for about 17 years! Really wouldnt know it seeing as I am proper USELESS at it! Last Sat I went up to 36, which is so so high! I cannot control it! I test for ketones all the time on those sticks but none ever show up! I feel thirsty, dry mouthed, moody, tired, fed up haha! All I know because I am high! I have been advised not to chase my levels with insulin, which is what I used to do to stop myself flying around! So I have stopped and now I am just high all the time!

I do so so many bloodtests, I am 26 and can barely feel my finger tips, (I think I have done 120 in the last 14 days!)

I am not a negative person, and I realise that Diabetes is in my hands, and I can control it! I am going on a DAFNE course (thank god!) in Aug to try to get better at it, I am not ALWAYS high like this, it seems to go in fits and spurts, but it is as if I only manage to stay in a normal range when I concentrate 100% on it, eating at the same times, writing everything down blah blah then it is good! Soon as I take my eye off the ball it goes hectic again, is everyone who is in control really rigid with what they do? I thought you could still live a varied life with it?

I dunno, guess I am feeling moany just because I am high (it tends to have that affect haha!!!!)

I need to know what I am all the time, as I worry about going low in meetings, or when driving, or even when I am out with friends, I always start spouting rubbish when I am low, and everyone thinks I am a fool well least I think they do, and I get horrible sweat attacks and go all clammy which totally ruins my hair every time (vein I know but a pain nonetheless!) It always makes me late as I always seem to go low when I really could do with not going low- when I am in a rush!!

I also used to have a really nice litte lennovo injections, which was perfect as it was small, it stopped working and they dont make them anymore so I have had to go back to the old style Novo pens! and I dont like them one bit!

I always get symptoms which is a blessing ( and a curse at the moment as I am always suffering from one symptom or another ;-) )
I am a very lucky girl, apart from my diabetes I am healthy, and to be honest I don't really have anything to moan about, I suppose I am just a little frustrated, and could really use some other peoples experiences, I don't have any diabetic friends, and feel like I could really use advice from people who understand all my melodramatic warblings!

Thanks for listening
xx

I think the DAFNE course will be brilliant for you. Also, have you chatted to your diabetes nurse etc about going on a pump? I'm on the Accu-Chek Combo now, and it's helped out a lot. Good luck!

 

[chamcham]

others have said really good things and I agree with them - but also just wanted to add, I've had it 21 years, so I know exactly what you mean, yes it can be sh*t on a stick, and I wish I could send you a hug.

 

[chamcham]

This is ancient and you'll never see this, but to anyone else who needs it - these comments gave me relief. I'm so sick of the positive, technical, you'll get there, it gets easier, life is hard but keep trying this or that ****. I know folk mean well by it, but the constant bowing down to, restricted, monotonous, never ending tedium of being dictated to 24/7 has made my past...20, at least, out of 32 years with this wishing many a time I was dead. It's screwed my vision, kidneys, nerves, had 4 operations for trigger fingers, twndonitis in both shoulders and a wrist, caused me a job loss, feeling like I live in outpatients, depression, disordered eating...I've spent time only eating mushrooms and that is one of the only things I can eat, eggs, lettuce, celery, protein, but I'm veggie) that doesn't make my levels go mental. No rhyme nor reason, either. Eat and do the same activities, do the same insulin but one day go mental high and the other go low. Usually low in the middle of the night, honours after taking insulin. I also seem to be sensitive to food and insulin as I can't take say 6 units for 60 carbs, I have to take about double that and usually a bit more. I've cut out meals, cut out fruit, cut out all carbs for long phases and only then, when my levels stay even, do I feel in control and not like a depressed drowning failure. If I go low I can't function for a good hour. I'm tired all the time. I can't lose weight. I'm sick of jabbing needles in myself multiple times a day to keep the seesaw from tipping. The thought of another 30 years of this, never mind a possible further 60 odd, has made me channel my thoughts into getting my will etc done rather than fixating on how much I don't want to live with this.

Apologies for the rant! Most folk I speak to with it get frustrated but don't seem to have the hatred I have. But I've had a lot of detrimental side effects in my 30s from it and have always struggled with it.

So I hope anyone else feeling like this knows I FEEL YOU! And these folks here feel you. Coz we may not be able to meet up in a park and scream together, but we are around.

 

[Tony337]

hi @chamcham
I too hate diabetes but not diabetes itself, as i'm well controlled, but the effect it has had on my mental and physical health.
I'm in my 50th year of it and have developed coeliacs bile acid malabsorption and am in my third year of a frozen shoulder and all these things have clubbed together and i've suffered with depression for the last 10 years.
So is it diabetes you hate or is it yourself?

Two different entities in my humble opinion and you can take medication for depression so it might be worth discussing this thought with your GP?

I'm not the most articulate person so i hope my thoughts are meant well and i am not trying to patronise you in any way.

I struggle with my mental health and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy......

I wish you well

Tony