I hate my weight!

As a small warning, bmi calculations can sometimes skew a bit if you're quite tall. My boyfriend is very slim, but because he's 6" 6 his bmi claims he's verging on overweight. 30kg is a HUGE amount of weight to be losing, I really don't think that's healthy. Perhaps you should look into getting your body fat percentage measured? Some gyms/swimming pools/pharmacies/GPs will do it. It's be a much more accurate way of really finding whether or not you "need" to lose weight. I'm 21 now and still obsess about my body occasionally, but at your age (sorry, I saw your post about being 17, not just stalking!) Its very easy to get fixated on your weight.

Then nothing more from me .... five members have essentially said the same thing. You're avoiding the subject for your own reasons. So be it.

Well you have your reasons for not wanting to tell us your weight and height and that's OK.

So ask yourself why you really want to lose weight. My own answer at your age would have been 'to attract guys'. You are comparing yourself to other girls. Yes we all do that. We shouldn't though because guys don't look at us like that. Most men seem not to care about our weight too much. In fact someone with a couple of extra pounds looks better to them than someone who is too thin. It's our own self confidence that attracts them to us.

It took me far too many years to understand this. When I was in my mid 40's and already very overweight (well, fat!) I met someone I used to know when I was young and slim. His first words to me were "Well, you may have put on a lot of weight but you still have whatever it was that made you attractive back then".

The obsession we women have with our weight is driven by the media and airbrushed photos. Wear clothes that enhance your good features and hide the 'bad' (though I sincerely doubt you have any bad ones) Enjoy your life and who you are, because you are special no matter what your weight is.

If I were you I would take the advice given by a previous poster of reducing your carb intake a little (and I stress, only a little) and stay healthy.

30kg? That's 64% of my total weight!! OK, I'm very slight and 5'3" or 160cm, but as others have said 30kg is a huge amount of weight and an enormous initial target.

My only comment is that, it may be all very well for you to restrict your eating to get weight down (and lets face it; that's what you have to do, one way or another), but if it takes you to a very thin, even underweight place, it will be almost impossible to maintain, unless you are willing to eat in a very restricted manner forever.

Setting up a scenario where your weight goes into yo-yo mode isn't helpful to either your physical, or mental well-being.

Have you discusses your weight with your diabetes management team, and if so, what do they feel about your desire to lose?

zand said:

Well you have your reasons for not wanting to tell us your weight and height and that's OK.

So ask yourself why you really want to lose weight. My own answer at your age would have been 'to attract guys'. You are comparing yourself to other girls. Yes we all do that. We shouldn't though because guys don't look at us like that. Most men seem not to care about our weight too much. In fact someone with a couple of extra pounds looks better to them than someone who is too thin. It's our own self confidence that attracts them to us.

It took me far too many years to understand this. When I was in my mid 40's and already very overweight (well, fat!) I met someone I used to know when I was young and slim. His first words to me were "Well, you may have put on a lot of weight but you still have whatever it was that made you attractive back then".

The obsession we women have with our weight is driven by the media and airbrushed photos. Wear clothes that enhance your good features and hide the 'bad' (though I sincerely doubt you have any bad ones) Enjoy your life and who you are, because you are special no matter what your weight is.

If I were you I would take the advice given by a previous poster of reducing your carb intake a little (and I stress, only a little) and stay healthy.

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Thats great advice." because guys don't look at us like that"

SarahB97 said:

Thank you @urbanracer I will try that and yes that is a recent photo but I'm just really unhappy with my weight and look at other girls with good figures and want that but every time I've tried nothing seems to work.

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You don't need to lose weight @SarahB97.

SarahB97 said:

I want to lose about 30 kg to be at a happy weight and no I don't know my BMI

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See here for the calculation ,its done for you. Just remember its not all that accurate because we are all so different. It will however give yo some idea of where you are positioned re this parameter.

http://www.mayoclinic.org/bmi-calculator/itt-20084938

SarahB97 said:

@zand my reasons for wanting to lose weight are what you say but also because i am not happy with how I look. I amount I've said is a lot but I think if I can lose it, in a healthy way, I will finally be happy but thank you for the advice because I know media can influence a lot of girls thoughts on how much they should weight and yes I can't lie I have been influenced but it's really hard not to be but I will think about it a lot more and make sure I'm going about it in a healthy way

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Nice balanced repy sarahB97, i'm sure that with good balanced exercise / diet/ insulin management ....you will achieve good results

SarahB97 said:

@zand my reasons for wanting to lose weight are what you say but also because i am not happy with how I look. I amount I've said is a lot but I think if I can lose it, in a healthy way, I will finally be happy but thank you for the advice because I know media can influence a lot of girls thoughts on how much they should weight and yes I can't lie I have been influenced but it's really hard not to be but I will think about it a lot more and make sure I'm going about it in a healthy way

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Yes please stay healthy, that's the best way to stay attractive.

Thank you for listening to me, I appreciate it. I dearly wish I had listened all those years ago, if I had I wouldn't be 15 stones 6 pounds now.

So, OK you're going to try to lose some weight (but please not as much as 30kg!) While you are doing this focus on the rest of you, the whole you, not just your looks. Is there anything you would like to achieve ? (other than losing weight). I'm just suggesting this so you don't go down the same road as me thinking weight is everything, it really isn't, you are a beautiful young woman with a lot to give and experience.

Be happy
x

I'd just like to point out that those other girls you mentioned that are the perfect weight and what you wish to be, probably aren't satisfied with themselves either. They probably think they're too fat or not attractive. Very. VERY few women are satisfied with their appearance.

Of course, you'd look at them and tell them they're perfect. And they're probably thinking the same about you - that they wish they could look like you.

Having spent a miserable time in my teens disliking most things about myself, I realise now how wrong I was.

The most attractive thing is to be happy in your own skin.

Best wishes and look after yourself

Sarah, I don't know any of your personal details nor do I want to. However, I am an elderly lady who was a healthy weight all my adult life (although I was a tubby child). I controlled my weight by always refusing to buy a larger size jeans; when they got too tight I shed a few pounds. I am a smidgeon under 5' 3" and weighed 8 stone 7 lbs to 8 stone 12 lbs. At that weight the jeans were too tight so I shed a few lbs, very easy to lose a little, hard to lose a lot! Since being diagnosed with T2 diabetes recently and cutting out carbs I have gone down to 7 stone and I am too thin, My BMI is 17.4 which puts me just above the critically underweight although I am not that thin but I did look a lot better when I was a healthy weight.

My point is, don't lose too much weight, there is a difference between being slim and being thin. Slim looks fine, thin (like me) doesn't. Slightly overweight or underweight is good, far too thin or far too fat isn't and is very bad for your health. You look great to me in your photo, wish I looked like that. Please don't try and lose too much weight.

There is a BMI calculation as mentioned previously although this is a good guide, depends also on build of person / inherited bone structure. I'm a little worried that this site could be mis- used by people with unreasonable / unhealthy expectations on weight. Or even an eating disorder.

SarahB97 said:

@zand my reasons for wanting to lose weight are what you say but also because i am not happy with how I look. I amount I've said is a lot but I think if I can lose it, in a healthy way, I will finally be happy but thank you for the advice because I know media can influence a lot of girls thoughts on how much they should weight and yes I can't lie I have been influenced but it's really hard not to be but I will think about it a lot more and make sure I'm going about it in a healthy way

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Sarah - Have you actually asked any of these girls whom you admire what they weigh, and what size clothes they wear? Don't just ask one, ask a few. You might be very surprised by what they reply.

What size clothes do you wear?

When I was diagnosed, I carried a few extra pounds. I was fortunate that it wasn't a massive amount, but in getting my diabetes under control, I lost weight. It wasn't my aim; it happened as a result of the dietary changes I had to make. T2s who can get rid of any tummy weight tend to notice improvements in their condition. So, what I am saying is that my weightloss was a consequence of getting my diabetes under control.

However, the downside of all of this is that I am now very, very slim, or skinny, depending on whom you ask, and a size 6/8.

When I was diagnosed, when clothes shopping, I used to think it would be great to be a skinny little thing, as I'd have far more clothing options, for what looked good. The stark reality is that is simply not the case. There aren't any more clothes in very small sizes than in other sizes, and where now I can wear clothes with very defined waists, and fitted midrifts, I don't tend to wear anything sleeveless in this country because my upper arms are a bit skinny. I used to be able to wear wide, v-necks, but now my chest is a bit bony, and frankly, my rear is never going to rear of the year, because they'd have to find it first!

The thing is, when we lose weight, there are always compromises. We don’t always lose from where we want to. Trust me, it usually works that one loses from the “good” bits, leaving the “horrid” bits stubbornly the same. Similarly, when we gain weight, we it doesn’t tend to go straight onto a pneumatic bosom, it goes onto our bottoms, or whatever other bit we hate. That’s just how it seems to work!

The grass isn't always greener, so please do some more research into what these "perfect people". Some of the folks we see in the media aren't healthy, so don't follow chase a dream to be someone who only eats lettuce leaves or has an eating disorder. It could turn into a nightmare.

I truly wish you luck.

Well, I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that your avatar makes you look grrrrrrreat just as you are. I wish my missus had a figure like yours - ( she doesn't read this forum!) but it looks like a bunch of strangers on the web aren't going to change your mind.

I think that a lot of people reach their 'natural' weight and shape at some point in life. I was never happy with being skinny as a younger man, I joined a gym, ate loads of carbohydrates and spent a small fortune on whey protein. After a while I realised that I was NEVER going to look like Arnie and I'm just the weight and shape that I am. Personal contentment comes from not trying to fight it. That's not say you shouldn't look after yourself as the years go by, of course you should and it's even more important as a diabetic, but equally don't get stressed trying to attain goals that you never quite reach and which aren't really neccessary anyway.

And finally, in the words of Baz Luhrman,
"Don't waste your time on jealousy
Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind
The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself
Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults, if you succeed in doing this, tell me how"

Read more: Baz Luhrmann - Everybody's Free (to Wear Sunscreen) Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Take it easy Sarah, you know where we are.