Martyk.
No one is calling you a wimp for talking about things which, as you rightly say, some people would call unmanly ? That is their problem.
Those people have no idea of the pain and hurt that can come about because of grief, loss of loved ones. They are the losers in this life. They have obviously never loved, never cared, never sat there with a dying friend or relative, or even a total stranger at the roadside, feeling powerless to do anything. Knowing that death is just moments away. Holding the hand of a stranger, someone who just want's you to tell Mom and Dad I love them.... then watching the spark go from their eyes, the grip slacken, the warmth diminish........
Try and keep a dry eye then, I dare you.
I would seriously suggest you need to get some counselling at the very least. There are some excellent ones that you can be referred to by your GP. Some years ago I lost 13 of my close family within the same number of months. Mother,Father elder brother etc etc... I was working at the time in a highly stressful job, dealing with death and serious injury on a daily basis. I cracked up, as they say. The reason - I didn't deal with the issues that I had going on at the time. The anger, the thoughts, the emotions, the memories. That appears to be where you are now. You have to deal with it and hitting out at others who are genuinely trying to offer you help is not good. They can be hurt too you know ? Try to listen more, think about things. Then you can respond. A knee jerk reaction to things that are said is counter productive and will help no one, least of all you. You are hurting I can see. Don't hurt others in response. I had many sessions of Bereavement and other counselling with an excellent lady practitioner. I have an awful lot to thank her for. She made me see life and events differently and totally turned my life around from the pit of despair to what I am today, outgoing and full of the joys of life. It is there to be lived Marty despite what you may be thinking now.
Now, back to your Diabetes.
Spiral will answer you in her own good time I am sure but meanwhile, I will as well answer some of your points.
You are new to all this and as stated before we don't tell you what to do, we advise. OK, so I will advise you to try a low GL diet with a reduction of all Carbohydrates. Get yourself some books from W H Smith. these are the ones I use, Collins Gem Pocket Book Series...GL, GI,Calorie Counter, Carb Counter that's around £16 worth so far. I also use other books but those will get you going and help you understand more. Now if that diet doesn't work for you then you haven't lost too much but it could affect your health. Oh, yes and don't blame me if it is no good for you. It works for me.
I have lost nearly 4 stone since January doing this method and some exercise, nothing too strenuous. Walking and resistance exercises. As Spiral would say - simples.
This is also the point where you need to get yourself a meter and test strips. You may be able to get one issued free from your Dr, I bought mine and have since had free ones from drugs companies. This site has some on offer in a 'competition. However, you need one now. So just buy it from your Chemist. Then you have to test on waking (fasting), before meals, 1 and 2 hrs after meals. With some foods you may also need to test after 3 hrs as the Glycaemic effect takes longer to get through your system. A test before bedtime is also helpful. at the same time as this you need to keep a food diary which shows all you have eaten with carb content etc and when. Using this and your test record you can then clearly see what certain foods do to your Bg levels. Then you can either avoid them or cut down portion sizes to negate the bad effect.
Lowering your Blood Glucose levels is done with a combination of things. Diet, Exercise, lowering stress levels etc. Everybody is an individual and it all has to fit in with your own lifestyle, likes and dislikes. That is another reason why there is no 'one way.' I know plenty of Diabetic's and we all argue about what is best practice !! What actually works. BTW, Dr's/Nurses don't know it all and can very often give out incorrect or misguided information. We all do our own research here and NEVER take what they say as 'gospel.' Check here as well, then make your own mind up.
NICE 2009 guidelines for a T2 are as follows. Target levels.
Fasting (waking)..............between 4 - 7 mmol/l.
2 hrs after meals.............no more than 8.5 mmol/l.
If you can get the post meal readings lower then so much the better.
Now we are looking at willpower. Depends what you want out of life. If you don't have any willpower you might as well give up now. You are going to need shed loads of it if you want to get healthy and live a long and fruitful Diabetic life. We have all thought at some point, Oh, what the hell ! and eaten chocolate,cakes,biscuits etc. Then afterwards thought that wasn't a good idea especially when your Bg level is 10+ because you had a can of Coke or a Big Mac. There are many good self help books out there, in your local Library which will teach you the basics of getting and keeping willpower. Get one and read it. It might just help.
As for a ' Cure'...? Don't hold your breath. we have seen many so called cures, tablets, supplements etc...mostly all smoke and mirrors, nothing so far has seemed to cure much, just drain your bank balance.
Antidepressants are like crutches, they can help and support you through trying times. Yes, they mess with your brain a bit but as you are already in a mess then what is the harm in trying to get things back into sync ??
I was on them for nearly 4 years. I wasn't a zombie and didn't walk around spaced out ! They just helped when I had the 'bad days'. Helped me to function and live a bit. I don't need them any more. I am back in charge of my life and in control of my destiny. Get some help and do the same. I took them because I needed to and was sensible enough to know that they could help. I was never addicted. I stopped them one day and had no problems whatsoever despite thinking what will happen to me now ? I feel I have got stronger. I can talk about anything now, I can shed tears when I need to. I don't care who sees it, I am a man who has a sensitive soul - is that so bad ?
As for 'tough 'Northerners, I've met a few. They all shed some tears at times, they just don't like it to show - no matter. Time you shed a few and let us help you get life back on track. We want to help.
Oh, yes. Try not to ask too many questions all at once. It is easier when there are just one or two, you will get quicker answers as well.
So, Marty. It's up to you. YOU have to help yourself mate. We can't do everything for you. As my friend Sue says, look around the site, read the success stories and many other excellent posts here. There is a newbies guide to Low Carbing if you want to try that way ? YOU have to read, we are not going to lead you by the hand and tell you what to do. You are a grown man and can make your own choices, good or bad. We all had to. I speak bluntly as you can see.
Ken.
What a lot for you to deal with. I'm very sorry to hear about the death of your wife.
I made numerous stepwise changes over several months that reduced the blood sugars and the carb cravings. I now know the difference between a carb craving and hunger.